luttuce
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πŸ‘€︎ u/denizkavi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19
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When you ask for a no luttuce with ur mcgangbang but you got it anyway
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beeby96
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17
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Headbutter Luttuce and Boingsetta

What are your thoughts?

Wiki:

Boingsetta

https://plantsvszombies.fandom.com/wiki/Boingsetta

Headbutter Lettuce

https://plantsvszombies.fandom.com/wiki/Headbutter_Lettuce

Edit: watch official gameplay circulating online for more info

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ciejie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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Just got back from a successful luttuce day crusade, here's me with the only two other survivors
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deskest
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
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Chilli rubbed slow cooker pulled pork w/iceberg luttuce and crunchy coleslaw Tasty!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/statuaryalloy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
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Luttuce
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πŸ‘€︎ u/juice_fella
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
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My brother in law is religious and still won't believe cannabis is actually good for you and not "Devils Luttuce", wtf can I do?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spaghettisauce11
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2017
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Hey there r/guineapigs I have a question about Luttuce.

Is iceberg lettuce safe? I was low on my piggies favourite veggies so after rooting through the fridge I found some iceberg, I remember hearing it wasn't really nutritious but also don't remember hearing anything to say it's bad for them. Anyway, I've never ever seen them eat like it, it was like they'd never been fed and they wheek for it all the time now, peppers and carrot just don't cut it anymore and they're ignored in favour of screaming as loud as possible until they get lettuce.

So, in your experience is it a popular choice? Is it safe? Google has so many mixed opinions.

Thanks for the responses so far, I'll probably keep it to a minimum then, they are still eating their peppers and carrotts, just not until after they've eaten the lettuce. O_o

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yummilyspam
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2012
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DAD JOKES ARE NOT DIRTY.

Go post NSFW jokes somewhere else. If I can't tell my kids this joke, then it is not a DAD JOKE.

If you feel it's appropriate to share NSFW jokes with your kids, that's on you. But a real, true dad joke should work for anyone's kid.

Mods... If you exist... Please, stop this madness. Rule #6 should simply not allow NSFW or (wtf) NSFL tags. Also, remember that MINORS browse this subreddit too? Why put that in rule #6, then allow NSFW???

Please consider changing rule #6. I love this sub, but the recent influx of NSFW tagged posts that get all the upvotes, just seem wrong when there are good solid DAD jokes being overlooked because of them.

Thank you,

A Dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Von_Bostaph
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18
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Rational
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mainhoonmadrasi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30
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There are only two white people in the movie Black Panther

Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.

They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.

I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jzagri
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24
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My wife blocked me on Facebook because I post too many bird puns.

Well, toucan play at that game.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zayan-ali
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30
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My 3 yr old daughter made her first pun today and I almost cried. She was eating an apple and I asked her if she liked apples.

She said apple-lutely

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 29
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What did the left eye say to the right eye when they got married?

'Eye-do'

This is my first post pls don't kill me lol.

The people in the comment section is why I love this subreddit!!

Cred once again my sis wants credit lol

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tieyz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27
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What was a very common name in the middle ages?

I heard parents named their children lance a lot.

First post please don't kill me

Edit: i went to sleep and now my inbox is dead, thank you kind strangers for the awards!

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 24
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Apologies if it's a bit corn-y
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mediashiznaks
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26
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so many choices
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SailorNebula
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
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Gottemm
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Un_FaZed211
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29
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Well that didn't cross my mind
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JasonPetreasCoach
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11
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He knows too much
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Potato_salad123
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24
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where do pirates get their hooks?

second hand stores!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigus-_-dickus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25
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My 6 year old wanted me to share his joke with you all. What is a horses favorite store?

Old Neeeeiiiiighvy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WantedDadorAlive
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28
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I've spent all morning trying to think of a quality pun, just to come up with THIS otter rubbish.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesome_smokey
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28
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I've just deleted all the German names off my pre owned iPhone..

it's Hans free now..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28
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3.14159265387279 snek
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 20
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Did you know 10+10 and 11+11 are the same?

10+10 is twenty and 11+11 is twenty too

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 27
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Rock bottom
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Theo19555
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23
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How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced?

A buck-an-ear!

I Thank ye kind Matey for the booty! I be truly overwhelmed! Thank you!

Holy cow! Thank you everyone for the upvotes and awards! I wasn’t expecting this!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/motherduck5
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25
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My Son Ate a Bunch of Scrabble Tiles. My Wife is Scared but I'm not...

He should have a good vowel movement. His next diaper change could spell disaster though.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hypeaze
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23
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Chinese takeout: $11.77. Price of gas to get there: $3.00

Making it all the way home and realizing that they forgot one of the containers:

Riceless

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 28
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Two drunk guys were about to get into a brawl. One of the guys grabs a stick and draws a line in the dirt and says "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face"

That was the punchline

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 29
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I threw up in the toilet
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 25
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Hot
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlexxFruit
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22
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Saw this on insta @PunHubOnline
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Haidi7
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26
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Had a good chuckle
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LittleBigOwl
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21
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At what point does it stop being grave robbing and start being archaeology?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Unholy_Jer
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28
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Today on a walk my son was asking about a bunch of plants and stuff, he pointed to one and I said it was a fungi.

Without missing a beat he asks "Daddy, do you know how much room you need to grow Fungi like that?"

I did not know.

So he tells me "as Mushroom as possible!"

So proud.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/smoffatt34920
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26
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What did Jay-Z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 22
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So my dad just died because he needed blood and we didn’t know his blood type.

He was so brave and even tried to encourage us, the family around him, with his last breaths. He kept whispering to us to Be Positive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BritishTeeth11
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14
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The elderly wife in church turned to her husband and said, β€œI’ve just done a silent fart. What should I do?”

He said, β€œChange the batteries in your hearing aid”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BritishTeeth11
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19
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My wife told me to pick up 8 cans of soda on my way home from work

She was pretty mad when I only picked seven up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eamonn_russell
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27
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I have been asking everyone what LGBTQ is?

So far no one has given me a straight answer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesumit
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02
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Oh the tangled web we weave ...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RogueDisciple
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27
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Grandma is always saying to me ' Hey what's the name of that German guy again who keeps taking my stuff '

Alzheimer, Grandma, it's Alzheimer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23
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What is your favourite breakfast food?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FabricioPezoa
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27
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What do you call a mom who turns into a dad?

Transparent

(sorry it sucks, it's like 2:30 in the morning right now and I haven't slept)

(Edit: holy shit! I wasn't expecting this to get so many upvotes. Also thanks for the awards guys, I really appreciate it!)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bangtan_Pikachu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12
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How do you track Will Smith in the snow?

You look for the fresh prints!

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 21
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