Choose a major you love
and you'll never work a day in your life because that field probably isn't hiring
"I love you from my heart to-ma-toes"
Do you know what car someone who loves rhythmical music should own ?
“I love my job!” exclaimed the farmer. “All you do is boss me around all day!” complained one of his sheep. “What did you say?” challenged the farmer. The sheep glared back and growled...
Take it easy people. Pretty soon you'll be able to kiss and have sex with the one you love.
But for now, stay at home and do it with the one you're married to.
I love you
At least... that’s a joke my dad told me all the time
First, I posted this on r/jokes but it didn't get much love. Then I realized I posted it on the wrong joke sub. Y'all love the punny jokes, so here you go:
Why are lamb chops a thing? Why do we have a food named after a baby animal?
Would you ever eat something called puppy steak? Or kitten burger? Or chick fillet?
oh wait.........
Credit goes to Matt from Studio C
If you donate a kidney, everybody loves you and you’re a total hero.
But try donating five kidneys and suddenly everyone is yelling and the police get involved.
"Honk if you love Jesus"
"Keep texting while driving, if you are desperate to meet him."
If you love Christmas so much...
My wife sent me a heartwarming text that read, “If you're sleeping, send me your dreams. If you're laughing, send me your smile. If you're eating, send me a bite. If you're drinking, send me a sip. If you're crying, send me your tears. I love you!”
I replied, “I'm on the toilet, please advise…”
How do you know if your love interest is into you?
Invite them to the gym. If they show up...
♦
...then you know you're working out.
What do you call a mycology student who loves to party
You know why I love jokes about kids of anti-vaxxers?
What do you call an American bee that loves sea ?
Would you call a chiropractor who loves this job
Son, I love you, and I think you rock
But I promise I will never take you for Granite again
Gandhi's Mum: How much do you Love me
Gandhi: From the bottom of Mahatma
There is one place in this world where you can truly love yourself.
What do you call two dudes who love math?
In France, They don’t say “I love you”
Because they don’t speak english there.
What do you call a monkey that loves chips?
What do you call a ghost’s true love?
In the store I saw some brightly coloured greeting cards that said, "I will always love only you "
They sold them in packs of 12.
How do you know when a cat loves you?
When it thinks you're its pajamas!
How do you know all woodpeckers love heavy metal music?
Because they’re all head bangers. (Credit to my 11 year old).
This isn’t mine and I don’t know who made it, but it’s been on my phone for so many years and I haven’t seen it on here yet. I hope you all love it as much as I do.
Did you hear about the two houses that fell in love with each other?
It was a lawn-distance relationship
What do you call a bear that both loves and hates to travel?
What do you call the love between two people that never engage in sexual activity and love eating a lot?
[Meta] love for you jokester dads
The only think I miss about my (otherwise awful) father is his sense of humor. Thank you from the bottom of my heart (and the top of my face palms) for every groaner, pun, and repeat.
Love,
All us fatherless (for whatever reason) redditors
What do you call a painter who loves running through the grass?
How do you check if a sniper loves you?
What do you call a person who loves both himself and waffles more than anything else in the world?
How do you know when you’re in love with a robot?
You know what musician the Elves love?
What do you call a crocodile that loves guacamole?
Don't you just love clockodials?
What do you call a woman who loves to cook up trouble?
Remember the good old days, before the pandemic? It used to be you could meet new people, maybe even fall in love and get married.
Now I’m just dating myself
What happens when you make love on a couch?
What do you call a small horse that loves Italian cheese?
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