Long Tongue Puns

Because then it would be a foot.

Is a foot long, and sounds like a sneeze?

A shoe.

What has eyes but cannot see, a tongue but cannot talk, and a soul, yet does not live?

Also, a shoe.

Speaking of shoes - did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory?

A thousand soles were lost.

My son was a councilor at a summer camp for kids.

One day he came home from work and told me that he heard me come out of his mouth twice in one day.

Whenever we drove somewhere with the kids, the answer to the inevitable question, "how much longer till we get there", was 20 minutes, whether it was 5 minutes or 5 hours.

So, they were taking a bus load of kids to the baseball stadium and one kid asked, "how much longer till we get there", and my son almost bit his own tongue off when he heard himself say , "20 minutes".

While they were waiting on line to enter the stadium, another kid asked, "How long do we have to wait?" My son answered, "four minutes and 60 seconds." This elicited the response, "That's too long," to which he replied, "well how about five minutes".

He tried to bash his own head against the rocks.

I'm so proud. :-)

A shoe.