Mary had a little lamb, a black sheep now is he

For what she thought was H2O, was AgNO3.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Texgymratdad
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2023
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Mary had a little lamb, she tied it to a pylon

10000volts went up it’s arse, now it’s wool is nylon.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2021
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Mary had a little lamb...

The Midwife was surprised

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wallygonk
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2021
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When Mary had a little lamb, the doctors were surprised.

When Old MacDonald had a farm, the doctors nearly died!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kbsn888
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2021
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Mary had a little lamb.

She also had a bear. I often saw her little lamb, but i never saw her bare.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/C0okie5
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2017
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If Jesus was the Lamb of God and Mary gave birth to Jesus....

...Then Mary had a Little Lamb

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2023
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A list of over 350 Dad Jokes!

Save them to your Phone and always have witty jokes at the palm of your hand.

3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates.

5/4 of people admit they’re bad at fractions.

A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.

A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. β€œI’d like some wings and a pint of beer, please,” it says. β€œSorry, but I can’t serve you,” the bartender replies. β€œYou’re out of your head.”

A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'

A college education now costs $100,000, but it produces three very proud people: the student, his mama, and his pauper.

A couple of cups of yogurt walk into a country club. β€œWe don’t serve your kind here,” the bartender says. β€œWhy not?” one yogurt asks. β€œWe’re cultured.”

A friend of mine didn’t pay his exorcist. He got repossessed.

A friend of mine is known for sweeping girls off their feet. He’s an extremely aggressive janitor.

A guy walks into a bar, and there’s a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, β€œWhat are you staring at? Haven’t you ever seen a horse tending bar before?” The guy says, β€œIt’s not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.”

A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.

A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, β€œWhat’s with the paper towel?” The pirate says, β€œArrr! I’ve got a Bounty on me head!”

A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, β€œI don’t know. It all happened so fast.”

Armed robbersβ€”some say they’re a drain on society, but you’ve got to give it to them.

Barbers…you have to take your hat off to them.

Can February March? No, but April May!

Cooking out this weekend? Don’t forget the pickle. It’s kind of a big dill.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.

Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.

Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!

Dad: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Son: No. What happened? Dad: The teacher woke him up.

Daughter: I have a lot of friends named Nathan. There’s Nathan Miller, Nathan Radcliff, Nathan Lewis… Me: When they are together, do you call them the United Nathans?

Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!

Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escape

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bugasum
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2022
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My 76 year old grandpa

Mary had a little lamb, and the gynocologist was very surprised. I laughed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrsDisco
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2013
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Every time he sees lamb on the menu.

Dad: "How's the lamb? I hear it's not baaaad!"

Waiter laughs a little bit and agrees. Brother's palm hits his forehead in disbelief. Repeat at every subsequent restaurant visit at which lamb is offered.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Grnot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2013
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Dad-joked an entire children's playgroup today...

A local children's centre brought in a little petting zoo for a toddler group today. One of the animals was a lamb, and at one point the lamb tried to escape through the door. Quick as a flash I said, "looks like it's going on the lam!"

Many groans were heard, but I'm still chuckling.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fairleee
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2014
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Mary had a little lamb

The doctor was surprised.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TimTimmersonn
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2021
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When Mary had a little lamb, the labor and delivery doctor was surprised...

When Old MacDonald had a farm, the doctor died of shock.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
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If Jesus is the Lamb of God and if Mary gave Birth of Jesus....

Then Mary had a little lamb

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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2022
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If Mary is the mother of Jesus and Jesus is the lamb of God

Does that mean that Mary had a little lamb?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-Tigger
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
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So if Mary had Jesus, and Jesus was the Lamb of God...

Does that mean Mary had a little lamb?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/keithasaurus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2018
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What did Mary have for dinner?

A little lamb

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dlliilb
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2017
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Lamb Stew

Her: I'll make the lamb today, I need to put some clothes on anyway.

Me: You need to wear clothes in front of the lamb? Feeling a little sheepish?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Switche
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2016
🚨︎ report

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