Now you just wait there a damn second friend.. a little birdie has just informed me that you are in fact a mime

Ya don’t say.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kopextacy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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Why did the little birdie go to the hospital?

To get tweetment.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThaDreamMerchant
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
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Time for Golf Puns!

But whatever fore?

A little birdie told me golf puns are a great way to make friends, so I thought I might as well join the club. I had to wedge myself into a car to get there, and boy did I realize the irony of doing so when I met the driver! He handed me a bunch of donuts, and I was so happy, there was a hole in one! When I got to the club, the driver kept telling me he had to put the car into par for it to stop moving! So I got of of the car and walked through the door only to realize that my driver had ditched me. Talk about rough right?

Anyway, thats all the golf puns I have for now, say for this last one.
Tee-hee!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/s0apyjam
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
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Got my friends this past weekend

A couple we're friendly with have a really cute 3-year-old girl who loves to play with the small animals in the backyard (mostly toads). Recently the girl found a bird a little later than their pet cat did, and didn't realize the bird was dead. Her mom, being a bit strange and not wanting to explain death to her daughter quite yet, puts on a pair of yard gloves and -- when the daughter wasn't looking -- sticks the dead bird up in a tree. Tells her daughter, "look, he's napping in the tree."

At this point in the story I chime in, "Weekend at Birdie's!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr_delete
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2016
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