Letter U Puns

Hustle, Sleuth.

It's one messed up, ugly ass tattoo.

"I love u too. It's my favorite letter."

Because it looks like U

That’s why they call it a W

I couldn't get up. I was completely weekend by it.

I always tell her that I love U but she insists that she hates it.

I replied “Sounds like a u problem”

Hate Male

I shit you not.

I was so concerned I jumped up and ran over to him...

Earlier that day my friend and I who were really into mountain biking had been using really sticky letters to put our names on our bikes. We were working near the general area of the BBQ.

Apparently I had dropped one...

Stuck to the bottom of my dads foot was the letter B....

A legendary dad joke from a legendary dad.

but our parents didn't letter.

The letter f

But never made it past the Letter B Letter B Letter B Letter B

(Sing it you know you want to!)

Left me with a John Deere Letter.

but I guess they never got the letters.

About five letters.

Genue: weurd but alrught.

I keep telling her it's the 25th letter of the alphabet.

The rest of the letters comes 'aughter' it.

A guy walks into a bar on Ash Wednesday and orders a beer. "I'm really having a hard time trying to decide what to give up for Lent," he tells the bartender. "Well let me tell you a little cautionary tale about giving things up for Lent," the bartender says. "A particular family in LA has been abstaining from using one letter of the alphabet for Lent each year, since 2001. It started as a joke, giving up "A" in 2001 and "B" in 2002, but developed into a strong family tradition. This year, one of the members has a tough choice to make. Unlike the rest of the Astleys, Rick made a solemn vow... "

You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined.

....the next time I pooped I had a vowel movement. But I'm a bit worried that all the other letters still haven't come out. It's been a while now so I went to see my doctor. He said it wasn't a big deal. I was just a little consonantipated.

Smiles. The first and last letters are a mile apart.

Letter rip

Now they have started sending me threatening letters.

I've done that, but what do I do with the letter.

would you gain or lose marks for not using capital letters...?

There once was this fella was born with a silver screw in his belly button. His parents, and later himself, searched far and wide trying to find someone that knew how this happened and how to remove it. As he grew older he cared less and less about the "how" and more about the removal. One day in his never-ending search he encountered a wizened woman who said that she knew of a place where you could go and a mysterious force would be able to remove the screw. But, before she provided the location she asked him if this was REALLY something he wanted done and if he knew all the consequences of his desire. The man hastily said that he was 10000% sure and more than well informed of the consequences. So, she gave him the location of the cave and the instructions on how to gain the help of the mysterious force. He was to go to the cave and sleep nude in the cave over night and by the morning his request would be fulfilled. He made his way to the spot with all due haste and followed the instructions to the letter. He did this and fell into a sound sleep. During the night a heavy fog rolled into the cave and a shining silver screwdriver floated into the cave with it. It floated down to the man and gently removed the screw. When the man woke up in the morning and saw the screw on the ground beside him he quickly reached down and felt his belly button. The screw was gone! He sprung up with great joy but the minute he landed after his leap of joy his butt fell off. He froze in horror and started to scream "Why did my butt fall off?" over and over.

The moral of the story is "Don't mess with things you don't understand or you will lose your butt."

“Santa: you’ve been around since the 4th century, seen alphabets and languages rise and fall. Do you have a favorite letter?”

Claus thinks about it, scratches his thick white beard and says: “A B C D E F G H I J K M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z”

“Well Santa, I just asked for one. What does that mean?”

“And I gave you one! My favorite letter of the alphabet is the most Christmasy one out there! No-L!”

today i tripped and fell down

and my face hit the letter E on a sewer drain cover

and then the police came and charged me with felony

My Dad has recently shown a fascination with space and NASA. Long story short, Christmas is coming up and my plan is to surprise him with an all expense paid trip to Florida for 4 days with passes to the Kennedy Space Center. I’d schedule it around a launch so he would be able to see it in person. As well as checking out the area a bit since we’re there.

Which is where I need your help! I want to coordinate hints with presents that slightly hint at the trip. For example, I picked out a NASA tshirt, a space shuttle plush toy, assorted astronaut ice cream, socks that have planets and a rocket on them, mug that says “coolest dad in the galaxy,” a map/atlas of florida, and luggage tags. And the final gift I’m thinking will be a letter that puts all the clues together and would include the plane tickets, car rental agreement, hotel confirmation, and the admission tickets in an envelope.

Can anyone give me ideas on what hints to use??

• I’m still adding/taking away present ideas so if anyone has any better ideas please let me know!!

Thank you so much!! Any type of help is appreciated!! I don’t really have that “creative” part of the mind... whether it be a rhyme or dad joke-y type hint, it doesn’t matter!

DAD: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?
SON: Envelope.

Talking to my 3 year old son the other day:

Me: Do you know your letters?

Son: Yes

Me: Can you say the alphabet?

Son: The alphabet

My wife and I were cracking up.

I replied, “No way that is in the top 5 most voweluable letters!”

A particular family in LA has been abstaining from using one letter of the alphabet for Lent each year, since 2001. It started as a joke, giving up "A" in 2001 and "B" in 2002, but developed into a strong family tradition.

This year, one of the members has a tough choice to make. Unlike the rest of the Astleys, Rick made a solemn vow...

I call it LETTER RIP

Letter B