The good news is that your other leg is all better."
I think that I might be lacktoes intolerant.
My other leg is all I have left.
Now he leans left.
He was three feet tall, and one foot short!
The suffered the agony of de-feet.
My dad told me he’s a foot shorter.
But don't worry, he's allright now.
Looks like his standup career is over.
A half-assed joke
They went back and amputated the other leg. He wanted to sue but they told him he didn't have a leg to stand on.
I know this isn't strictly a Dad joke, but I feel it is in the spirit of the thing. My dad is getting is getting his leg amputated in January. Essentially he has no cartilage in his ankle, and it causes him severe pain all the time. He has an amazing sense of humor, so I wanted to get him a gift basket of foot-based things. So far I have: -fruit by the foot -Happy Feet -Footloose -an Ihop gift card -pack of tube socks (since now he gets 2 for 1) -Bologna (because his amputation is below knee) -a card saying congrats on the weight loss -all put inside of a stocking
What other foot based pun items would you include in the gift basket?
He's all right now.
... on Friday night and parked in a zone that allowed 24 hour parking on weekends, but only 2 hour parking during the week. While he was there, a family member slipped something into his drink and sold him to a gang that traffics in frog legs. After the amputation he was taken to a hospital. He woke up to his mother telling him him the story you just read. He was a bit froggy from the sedatives, so he said "whaaaa?".
She replied: "I to'd you, toad, you got towed because you we're de-toed by de toad.
My other leg is all I have left.
