Blood and Organ related puns please

So a colleague is leaving my work (transfusion medicine lab) to work as an information manager for the organ transplant service. I make cards and I’m trying to think up something punny to write on/in his card and I’ll paint a picture on the front for context. I was thinking like β€œbloody good luck” or β€œsorry you’re transplanting”... but less shitty!

Thanks in advance :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Massive-Lock-6048
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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My parents said to me that the world didn't revolve around me.

But I'm their sun

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AwesomeW2017
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2018
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A big thank you to "Dad jokes."

As a professional children's entertainer, finding the dad jokes thread has been a real blessing. I work mainly with children between the ages of four and eight, and, for obvious reasons, I need to keep my jokes clean. In my business, a groan is just as good as the laugh because it usually is accompanied by a smile!

I'm afraid I don't know who started it, but the "this paper says otherwise" is easily one of my favorites. I took the liberty of having 500 business cards that say "otherwise" on them. I use them in my performances in a variety of ways. If I see a dad after my show who looks like the type who might enjoy a good pun, I will go up to him and ask him if he thought the show was good. Inevitably he will say yes, and I'll tell him that "Unfortunately this card says otherwise." I then leave the dad with the card to use at his own behest.

Just wanted to give a big shout out and a big thank you to the Dad jokes community for inspiration. People ask me what I do for a living and I tell them I'm the Jimmy Fallon to five-year-olds. Thanks so much for contributing all you guys do!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Junglejimirish
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2015
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PSA: Never take your dad to DeDutch.

Be courteous to the DeDutch waitstaff (and to yourself) this holiday season by leaving your dads at home before dining at DeDutch. Following is just a small sample of jokes that your dad WILL make after ordering his DeBratwurst from DeLunch menu on his DeClub card.

  • I have to go to DeWashroom.
  • When the waitress asks how the food is, the only responses will be either "DeLightful", or "DeLicious".
  • Pass DeSalt.
  • Make sure to leave a good Detip for the DeService!
  • You've got DeHollandaise sauce on your DeShirt!

The waitstaff will pretend to laugh every time. But secretly they die inside a little every time.

It's really quite DeSpicable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ReddSap
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2013
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