Latte Coffee Puns

I was proud to immediately come up with "Hola Latte, soy Dad!"

Turns out he doesn't know the least bit Spanish and this was lost on him...

The man frowns. “What do you mean it’s a secret? What’s the special today? Is it a latte?”

The barista shakes her head.

“A mocha?”

She shakes her head again.

“Oh, come on! Tell me! A cappuccino?”

She shakes her head.

“An affogato?”

She shakes her head.

The man is getting frustrated at this point. “Can you at least give me a clue!?”

The barista thinks for a moment, then points at a jar on the counter. “Ok, the special is in this jar.”

“What is it?”

“I can’t tell you. It’s a secret.”

The man, enraged at this point, tries to grab the jar.

The barista grabs it too.

They fight for control and the man wretches it away only for the jar to fall on the ground and its contents spill out onto the floor.

The man stares, “It’s just been normal coffee this whole time?!”

The barista shrugs, “I guess you spilled the beans.”

To preface, we work at a coffee shop. A somewhat picky customer comes up and orders a 16 ounce chai tea latte, with soy milk. My coworker tells me all of this, and that the customer would like the drink at exactly 140°F. I make the drink, and call it out to be picked up: "16 ounce soy milk chai!"

My coworker comes over and says, "Hopefully she likes it, I've had to remake her drink a couple times before." I replied with:

"Well I certainly chai-ed soy hard when I made it."

Eye rolling and groans all around while I grinned ear to ear.

So my girlfriend calls me this morning and tells me she's on her way over, I tell her cool and ask if she can grab some coffee on the way, She says yeah no problem. Ten. Minutes later called me back and tells me she drank some of the coffee, I say wtf why don't you get your own, she responds.... Too Latte.... -. -

When making her morning coffee, she was telling me all about this new vanilla creamer in a foaming spray can she bought last night. I quickly identified my prey and pounced.

 

"Well... when you try it, I hope you like it a latte."

I always bring my own coffee (because mine is better and I'm cheap) whenever I go to study. Since it's a hot day out I decided to get a cup of ice from the coffee shop to make a nice iced coffee. Thankfully the opportunity for a dad joke presented itself whenever the person I was with order an Iced Latte. I had no other choice but to order a "Latte Ice"

Of course I had to explain to the barista that I actually wanted a cup of ice, of course she gave me a courtesy laugh, and of course I'm posting this to reddit instead of actually studying.

I was out getting food with my mock trial team and we went to a place called Jones Bros which was a cupcake and coffeeshop. I got a coffee called the "Nirvana Carmel Latte". After I sat down, my friend asked me how it tasted. I said "It tastes like teen spirit".