I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
They’re on standbi
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
"I hear it's Fox's 25th anniversary. Congratulations!" - Rep. Ro Khanna (D-CA), doin' it wrong
Topline Bling
With two weeks left on the GOP’s “destroy the economy” countdown clock, and just over three before highway funds lapse, Democrats are finally down to brass tacks on questions like: What should we do about this? And, when can we give Rep. Josh Gottheimer (D-NJ) an atomic wedgie?
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As the wounds from last week’s manufactured-deadline drama heal, Democrats have begun setting key priorities: How big will the Build Back Better bill be? What can a bill of that size include? His Admiralty Joe Manchin has seemingly accepted that Build Back Better will be larger than the $1.5 trillion topline he laid out as his preference. President Biden has reportedly told other Democrats he thinks he can convince Manchin to support a bill with $2.2 trillion worth of stuff in it, and Manchin hasn’t objected to that characterization. But Rep. Pramila Jayapal (D-WA), the House’s top progressive, says members of her caucus have “little appetite” for a bill smaller than $2.5 trillion. (We’d note that the average of the bill’s $3.5 trillion ceiling and Manchin’s $1.5 trillion floor is $2.5 trillion.)
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Having homed in on a topline, Democrats must make strategic and values-based decisions about what to spend it on. With less money to go around, they can either eliminate some Build Back Better proposals, or make more of them temporary and/or smaller, then fight for their renewal in the future. The former option puts important party priorities (like the child tax credit and expanded Medicare benefits) in competition with each other; the latter risks making the programs disappointingly narrow, or vulnerable to expiring, if Republicans take political power and refuse to renew them. It’s unclear how Democratic leaders will approach this thorny prioritization challenge, though Manchin reportedly prefers fewer programs, fund
[Removed]
You take away their little brooms
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
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Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
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French/Finnish art
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Country/Canadian rap
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Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
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Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Nothing, it just waved
Him: I can explain everything!
(It's his best joke yet I think)
Bob
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.
Just to clarify, 12345678
Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...
Notices there's only 2;
Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."
I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.
I was just sitting there doing nothing.
But nobody ever mentions his sister, Onya, who invented the starter pistol.
“BOOM”?!
