"Theraflu."
I sternly told them, βYouβve made a grave mistake.β
and not ?
It keeps Stalin on me
Because they're all not 'C's.
A big fire in Boston.
*sorry if it's been posted before
She's a mother trucker.
Then the owner came out giving free burgers and hotdogs to everybody there.
It was the best barber queue ever!
Granny replied, "Never mind the pills. Have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?"
Fucking attention horns.
Teacher: βSo I want everyone to understand that a dead body isnβt disgusting, and we need to be able to handle it and always be observant at all times when dealing with oneβ
The teacher has everyone turn their body over
Teacher: βNow I want you all to stick your finger in itβs ass and hold it in there for a momentβ
all of the students do as instructed, hesitant at first
Teacher: βOkay, now go ahead and pull your finger out and then put a finger in your mouth like I doβ
The students getting a little disgusted by that request REALLY hesitated at first, but eventually they all did as he asked
As the teacher has all of his students with their finger in their mouth, he tells the class, βnow see itβs not disgusting if you did it right...if you put your index finger in the ass, and put your middle finger in your mouth like I did, you have just passed my classβ.
With minimal observance, and a dead silent room...not one student passed the pop quiz
But in hindsight, I was just acting on Impulse.
The barista says "well, that's a tall order..."
Gosh, my arms are tired.
They responded, βMaybe I did, but you asked how I spell it.β
... seems like a half-assed shower.β
But it's really grown on me.
Her to our almost two year old: "Do you want dad tip pot your pants on, our do you want to put them on yourself? "
Me: "I could try putting them on but I don't think they would fit. "
