This could be really cool, and just an idea I had while watching videos of people making Doughnuts
After I got my first jab (the most important day of my life bar none, sorry not sorry wife and kids) I sprinted down to the local Kripsy Kreme to get my heckin' free doughnut, proudly showing off my vaccination card to the staff members behind the counter and everyone else in the shop. They all clapped, of course they did, and even President Biden himself rocketed in on his invisible jetpack and tousled my hair (after sniffing it first).
I had my free doughnut (YUM!!) and I was on my way.
That was back before I had Long Covid, when I could fit through doors and didn't have to be lifted out of bed by a small crane and pully system. FUCKING DELTA VARIANT.
Anyway, the Krispy Kreme was on my way to work (I paint Warcraft figurines for the Games Workshop; I would do this at home but my kids broke the heckin' figurines last time I tried that!!) and I would stop in there for my free doughnut (even thinking about it is making me salivate). As the effects of Long Covid became more and more apparent over time I was forced to wait outside the shop in my chariot of a wheelchair, huffing oxygen through a mask connected to one of the tanks affixed to the back of it and glaring at the employees through the window until one of them broke and brought me another free doughnut.
Sadly, they've gone out of business and according to one of the employees I tracked down (thank you, Facebook) it's sort of my fault. All of those free doughnuts I had for being vaccinated took a toll on them and they couldn't afford to stay open any longer. I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do now. The nearest Krispy Kreme to me now is on the other side of town and I don't think I have the energy to wheel myself all the way over there for a fucking doughnut.
TL;DR: Krispy Kreme are a bunch of fucking bigots who refuse to cater to my every whim by not uprooting their store and dropping it down next door to me, crushing my anti-vax chud neighbour Steve's house and his stupid cis white family in the process. Now, excuse me while I desperately attempt to lick doughnut dust residue that's managed to get under my fingernails.
Fact Checkers who totally aren't on Pfizer's payroll have concluded that there is a sizable link between those who have stuffed their faces with free Krispy Kreme doughnuts following their jabs with the increase in blood clots and heart attacks this year!! Soyentists who have been left "baffled" by this strange uptick in extremely rare and sudden illnesses have taken a closer look at the data and statistics compiled by the Fact Checkers, and have recommended more doughnuts to tackle this issue.
After I got my first jab (the most important day of my life bar none, sorry not sorry wife and kids) I sprinted down to the local Kripsy Kreme to get my heckin' free doughnut, proudly showing off my vaccination card to the staff members behind the counter and everyone else in the shop. They all clapped, of course they did, and even President Biden himself rocketed in on his invisible jetpack and tousled my hair (after sniffing it first).
I had my free doughnut (YUM!!) and I was on my way.
That was back before I had Long Covid, when I could fit through doors and didn't have to be lifted out of bed by a small crane and pully system. FUCKING DELTA VARIANT.
Anyway, the Krispy Kreme was on my way to work (I paint Warcraft figurines for the Games Workshop; I would do this at home but my kids broke the heckin' figurines last time I tried that!!) and I would stop in there for my free doughnut (even thinking about it is making me salivate). As the effects of Long Covid became more and more apparent over time I was forced to wait outside the shop in my chariot of a wheelchair, huffing oxygen through a mask connected to one of the tanks affixed to the back of it and glaring at the employees through the window until one of them broke and brought me another free doughnut.
Sadly, they've gone out of business and according to one of the employees I tracked down (thank you, Facebook) it's sort of my fault. All of those free doughnuts I had for being vaccinated took a toll on them and they couldn't afford to stay open any longer. I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do now. The nearest Krispy Kreme to me now is on the other side of town and I don't think I have the energy to wheel myself all the way over there for a fucking doughnut.
TL;DR: Krispy Kreme are a bunch of fucking bigots who refuse to cater to my every whim by not uprooting their store and dropping it down next door to me, crushing my anti-vax chud neighbour Steve's house and his stupid cis white family in the process. Now, excuse me while I desperately attempt to lick doughnut dust residue that's managed to get under my fingernails.
