...he considered them a flight risk.
Too much purrfanity.
And one of our kittens (7mo/f) starts nosing her away aggressively around our feet.
15/f daughter: ‘Oh kitty, what are you doing?’
Me: ‘I think she’s fishing.’
Achievement unlocked: my daughter smiled, and didn’t groan, roll her eyes, or whine ‘Daaaad’.
They were the Wright brothers for the job
Now they’re spoiled to the alba-core.
It was a catastrophe!
Pon Pon Purim!
Chilled cup of mice cream
It was a worst case scenario.
Me: Yes, it’s very purrrrrty
They are charging me with Kitty Fiddling
[[in your deepest possible voice]] Here kitty kitty kitty....
"Yeah I don't wanna use that cat-lick butter...
That's worse than that Anglican butter."
The itty-bitty Kitty committee!
So far for States I have: Catifornia North and South Catolina Oklahomeow Oregato Furorida Mew York, Jersey, Hampshire, Mexico Connectikitty
For cities I have: Mew York Kitty Felinedelphia San Digato Mewmphis Chigato San Furanciso Indianapawlis Clawmbus
You could tell him to get off the couch by saying "Get down, Mr. President!"
Kitti-liter
They're calling it "Fiddy's witty itty bitty nitty gritty city kitty ditty".
1 for Kitti and 1 for Daniela
We're in bed, and her 2 cats are jumping all over everything in her room. Typical cat things.
Her: (sarcastically) "I should just dump them outside on the sidewalk."
Me: "Wouldn't that be KITTY LITTER??"
Her: (groans)
Help wanted from r/puns!
I am planning to make my girlfriend a picture calendar for 2015 of some dog/ cat based puns of famous dictators. I'm running short of ideas, and so am turning to Reddit, given their penchant for all things pets and puns.
My ideas so far:
Adolf Kitler
Chairman miaow
Kitty Amin
Ho chi(huahua) Min
Robert Pugabi
Colonel Catdafi
Saddam Hussaint Bernard
Benito Pussolini
Fidel Catstro
I'm looking to Reddit's collective pun power to generate some more ideas. Help me punslingers!
The answer is a kitty cat. I just put the cement in to make it hard.
Wife: I got the hello kitty design on the key because they only had sports teams or plain ones
Me: you don't like aviation?
Wife: (5 second pause then groan and eyeroll)
A Kitty Pool
So my girlfriend likes to talk in a baby voice sometimes. I don't mind it and find it fairly cute. Well she's been wanting to go get a kitten and every time she mentions is she says it as "can we go look at titties today?" Instead of kitties. Well I woke her up and in her half asleep voice she asks me
"Can we go look at titties today?"
I say "sure, we'll go to the shelter later."
And she responds "Hooters or twin peaks?"
It took me a minute but she definitely got me on this one.
..and all the servers are dressed in little pieces of their Halloween costumes (kitty ears, face paint). But one employee was wearing the Blue IHOP apron and the blue and white striped shirt. [dad] nudges my sister with his elbow, "look, he's dressed as an IHOP employee".
My family was all eating spaghetti around the kitchen table one night when my Dad just started chuckling out of nowhere, spaghetti sauce falling down his shirt. His laughs quickly got louder and more food began to fall out of his mouth. Everyone immediately knew what was up.
"So...haha, so what do you get when you cross a cat with some fireworks?"
We blankly stare back. "What?"
"Kitty Kitty Bang Bang!"
He then just stared at us all laughing, tears in his eyes. My mom got up and left the room.
After failing to get a laugh after making a joke leaving our living room, I came across the cat and said, "I'm a funny guy."
Then followed with, "Guess that means you're the kitty and i'm the kidder."
<in your lowest possible voice> Here kitty kitty kitty...
