Kitchen Object Puns

May not fit here, so tell me if I fit the bill.

Back in high school I took Home economics and you were assigned a partner to work with on your cooking station. I was assigned to work with “L”.

Now, L was an unpleasant person in general, rude, disrespectful, would always back talk, dismissive, bratty and unremorseful, in other words, a laundry list of reasons that made her unlikeable. I didn’t actually have to deal with her often but when I did oh boy, did she make it a roller coaster ride of pain.

She’d clearly taken the class thinking it’d be easy and she could cost through, getting a qualification at the end. Turns out, you actually had to…work (novel idea, I know) and there was more to it than just wasting school produce on mediocre recipes. You had a real exam to pass that would dictate your ability to go and get a more advanced home ec qualification. She wasn’t interested. Fine, don’t be, but the amount of times she purposefully sabotaged my dish or my prep are too many to count. I never returned this “favour” no matter how tempted I was because I’m not a complete dickhead.

Despite that, the main thing that I didn’t like about her in this particular class, aside from her degrading attitude, was that she had no sense of kitchen safety, even after it was explicitly explained to her by not only our teachers but myself, that you couldn’t do a few things that I considered to be common sense, such as: Leaving things like knives and can lids in the sink without telling me, these were sharp and could cause some serious damage to whoever washed the dishes ie: me. Two, you don’t open the near the floor, hot oven door with telling the person at your feet, this could seriously burn someone. Three, you don’t just leave the hot oven door open for someone to walk into, and four, follow rules number 1 to 3.

She managed to break rules 1 to 3 within fifteen minutes of them being set, and this went on for months. There was a good number of instances I could have been seriously sliced or burned because she still left sharp utensils in the sink and just couldn’t be assed to pay attention to anyone but herself. I once reached into the soapy water thinking I’d grabbed a fork only to realise when I pulled it out it was a kitchen knife, blade side to my palm, if I hadn’t been cautious because I knew she did this it could have ended in a hospital visit, these were not blunt knives. Another time, I nicked the tip of my finger though the same process-that’s not counti

Mine are Kitchen Aid mixer, Le Creuset 5 qt French oven, and All Clad 1.5qt sauce pan.

I'm tossing around fantasy kitchen ideas for a hypothetical house that min-maxes for floor area and cost per square foot. It's hard to figure out where to go.

I've become fond of the idea of 'double everything' for reliability and redundancy - two cheaper 30" refrigerators side by side instead of one premium 36" fridge with ice maker and french doors. Two dishwashers and sinks so you can always put dirty dishes in one and empty the other, and there is always a usable faucet. A normal range hood over an everyday induction range, and then a second fully isolated area for things with air quality concerns (eg roasting coffee, toasting spices, reducing stock, propane grilling). Cabinets for foods and tools that have a permanent place, and a cupboard for foods which rotate or have bulk quantities.

One benefit is that this allows for multiple simultaneous users, if the house ends up as a multigenerational or co-living space.

Googling a bit, 'double everything' coincides with the category of a "kosher kitchen" which tries to separate different types of foods.

If you're not limited on space or number of cabinets, how would you lay out a kitchen? I started with a 24x24 box, but not so sure about that anymore. The island layouts I try don't fit well into 16x24 with 48" clearances, the separated rooms for cupboard and side kitchen feel cramped, the fully open layouts feel like maybe the kitchen triangle is too big, and every layout I look at has issues with space for upper cabinets versus windows.

I understand this isn't a real world exercise, I have no immediate plans to build this, but I would like to be able to define an ideal case better. Right now I'm stuck sharing space in a classic 10x10 with some less than stable personalities, and I want to daydream.

EDIT: Wow, thanks for all the ideas. If you've got anything geometry-wise, though, my standing issue is mostly with fitting it all together into a usable configuration. Any tips/tricks there? Any floorplans for very large kitchens that still feel comfortable?

https://ibb.co/album/Kc2nMD

~750sqft

side with the long white counter run is south, with windows on the south and east walls and no uppers on these walls

the kitchen on the right is designed primarily to be wheelchair accessible, but also happens to work as a "spice kitchen" etc. 3'6" wide doorways

5'4" aisle widths for more convenient wheelchair u turns and no butt bumping with multiple users in the aisle

all the gray surfaces are lower, 30-31" for wheelchair access and better leverage for some kitchen tasks (mixing, kneading, using appliances, some styles of chopping). because of this lower height dish drawers are used in the island (32 1/8" ADA DW will not fit)

the white countertops are 33", again as a compromise for wheelchair accessibility in a pinch (this is about as low as you can go and still use a 32 1/8" ADA dishwasher), and also because I'm short

the tan projections are pull out work surfaces at 28" for extra leverage when in a wheelchair, or if you wanna sit down to peel potatoes

the weird grey translucent thing on the to the west is a pullout storage on heavy duty casters with folding leafs so it can double as a second table. probably wouldn't use this that often but it seemed a shame to put the middle of the island to waste, and it would be annoying to reach under a 25" overhang to access cabinets.

the island seating has 25" overhangs for wheelchair use

the hoods have 6" overhang and side skirts

there is a 2/1 6-capacity gastronorm combi in the accessible kitchen, a conventional convection oven and combi-steam oven on the baking station wall, and 3 combi-microwave ovens under the counters.

only 1 corner cabinet in the whole damn kitchen

those 18" wide pullouts near the sinks and prep areas are garbage

I'm sure there are other details I'm forgetting to mention, here's a list from an older version (not all the info is correct): https://www.reddit.com/r/floorplan/comments/qhoag8/what_would_your_costnoobject_kitchen_design_look/hikytt6/

i'm sure there will be plenty in here that is not to peoples' tastes. I was inspired by the idea of making accessible versions of these two kitchens, which were designed by chefs for their own homes:

https://i2.wp.com/www.lifeofanarchitect.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/Richard-Chamberlains-Home-Kitchen.jpg

https://i.ibb.co/CsHQ34Y/kitchen-small.jpg

Just to show the toddlers and the tiny play kitchen for scale.

Adults can use the stove and prepare meals inside the playpen with the toy kitchen even, then place the group meal inside the fridge to store for later.

Or they can place a few group meals inside the open display fridge case and let the toddlers serve themselves!

There's a little toddler dining room table with stools where they can eat and socialize together.

There's 2 wabbit tablets, 3 potty training stools, 1 dollhouse, a play tent, 2 stuffed animals, a play kitchen, a tiny dining room, a toy box, pillow chairs, building blocks, a play table and a bookshelf. It's the largest in my playpen series at 8x8 in size. It's meant for either outside or in large mansions

I plan to make 4 different sizes. There's small 2x2 (But I allowed myself to clip outside a bit.), medium 4x4, large 6x6 and extra large 8x8. (I took the slide out of the extra large because it's supposed to be a more indoor playpen than an outdoor playground, though it can be used outdoors of course.) I'm still working on the layout for each size and playtesting all of them. The smaller they go, the harder they are, I will admit! Someday I think I might make a challenge for our group out of this!

I also plan on making some corner piece playpens in different sizes eventually.

[I made different themes and finished the small size of a lot of them so far. Yellow, Rainbow Forest, Pink, Blue.](https://preview.redd.it/ce0h5510nfi71.png?width=3440&format=png&auto=webp&s=565fe23a1e7eb872e28084da6

A kitchen knife has 10 distinct parts. Handle, butt, tang, bolster, heel, spine, blade, tip, point, and edge. Collectively, what are these called? My first thought is attributes, but that would encompass other properties of the knife, like the type of steel, etc.