What do you call the kings and queens of the beverage kingdom?

The Royaltea

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
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We often hear about the divine right of kings, but we should really be talking about the divine right of queens.

After all, queenliness is next to godliness.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScravoNavarre
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
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[Long] The king and queen of Fruitlandia had a son named Melon.

One day, Melon met a girl named Cantaloupe. She was very sweet to him. They fell in love quickly, but his father didn’t approve because she was a peasant. You see, the king wanted Melon to marry the princess of Veggieland, Broccoli. The king banned Melon and Cantaloupe from seeing each other ever again.

However, the young lovers were determined to see each other. Every Sunday, Cantaloupe snuck into Melon’s room. They would stay up till midnight with each other. This went on for many years.

Meanwhile, the king was arranging Melon’s marriage with Broccoli. He was prepared to pay every expense to make the wedding excellent for PR. However, the night before Melon was to be married, the king found out about his meeting with Cantaloupe! He made Melon swear a Royal Oathβ€”an unbreakable promiseβ€”to marry Broccoli the next day and never see Cantaloupe again after that.

That night, when Cantaloupe visited, Melon admitted what had happened. She begged him to run off with her and get married, but he refused.

β€œI love you, but I swore a Royal Oath. I’m sorry, dear, but I Cantaloupe.”

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2018
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My pregnant wife just asked me if I think her tummy is going to get bigger for the next time she gets pregnant.

Me: "Of course it will get bigger"

Her: "Oh, why do you think that?"

Me: "Because, your body will upgrade from a queen size womb to a king size womb"

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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Which playing cards are the best dancers?

The king and queen of clubs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/extremeavYT
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
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I think I've taken this one to a whole new level

Dave is working at his job at the Time Travel Factory when his partner Bob comes back in his own time machine. "Come quick Dave!" he says "I just got back from the Middle Ages and have met a prince!" So Dave climbs into Bob's machine and they head to the Middle Ages.

They arrive at a castle and immediately meet the prince Bob was talking about. "Your Majesty" says Bob "Allow me to introduce my friend Dave. He works with me at the Time Traveling factory." As Dave bows, the Prince says "It is an honor to meet you my loyal subject. I am a Prince. My mother and father are Queen and King of this kingdom."

"It is even more of an honor to meet you, Your Highness" says Dave. "I have never met royalty before."

"It is indeed a rare honor for most subjects." said the prince. "Because of a strict guideline of pre-arranged marriage and inbreeding, there are only a small number of us around."

"Er...ok..." said Dave. "So tell me Prince, how vast is your kingdom."

"It is most large" said the Prince. "However my population has been dwindling lately. In recent months, I've had to behead a large number of my subjects. It fulfills my bloodlust and desire for authoritarian control by any means necessary."

Clearly uncomfortable, Dave turns to Bob and quietly says "I hate to say it, but this prince you've found is kind of a bummer."

Bob said to Dave "Well what did you expect, I told you. I have meta prince.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2017
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At school...

Social studies teacher is telling us about the types of government. She gets to autocracies and absolute monarchies, etc.

"So let's say I'm the king, (or rather the queen), and I say that everyone needs to eat cheeseburgers for breakfast lunch and dinner. And since I'm the queen, and I said so, you have to do it!"

This one guy on the other side of the room pipes up - "So does that mean you're the burger king?"

Urghhh

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scratchisthebest
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2014
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Dad joked my Dad

Dad is going on a trip with some friends, many who snore or have tendencies otherwise making them poor bed-mates. Dad says "looks like this villa will have a double and a few kings, to which I reply: "I just see a bunch of Queens, if you ask me." Got 'em.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/justobserving87
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2014
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What do you call the kings and queens of the coffee kingdom?

The Royaltea

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
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What playing cards are the best dancers?

The king and queen of clubs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheOmerAngi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
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Which cards are the best dancers?

The King and Queen of Clubs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/devildocjames
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
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Which playing cards are the best dancers?

The King and Queen of clubs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oppy1984
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2017
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