A list of puns related to "Killed It"
I'm a gnatural born killer
Your fired
... guess you could say he sleighed it
"Third thyme's a charm."
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Based on a true story. Wife's eyeroll suggested this 100% belonged here.
"Have you just killed that elephant?" asked the cannibal. "Yes," replied the pygmy, "I did it with my club." "Wow," replied the cannibal. "You must have a really big club!" "Yes, there are about forty of us!"
I'll diluting.
It would have been better if they had Windows.
But that damn clown had it coming
It was no laughing matter.
Die oxide.
That's probably going to come back to bite me later
So for some reason while playing dominos we started talking about doing laundry and my grandmother says she always uses dryer sheets except for her delicates and bras and that she hangs them... trying to be funny my little brother said why would you HAAAANG them? And my grandma starts to reply seriously right as my grandfather cuts in and said "they committed a couple hold ups"
My Pops passed away about a year ago, and one of my best memories was him saying his favorite "dad joke". I would always ask him to make me something because he was a chef.
ME: Pops can you make me a steak?
POPS: Yeah sure, poof (as he flicks his fingers at me) you're a steak. Ahh! good times.
My family is on the mailing list for the National Arbor Day Foundation, so we get begging letters from time to time.
In the most recent one, there was an additional flier that had the phrase "Hurry! You don't want to leave behind all the great benefits of being a member of the Arbor Day Society!"
I was immediately disappointed that they didn't say "You don't want to LEAF behind..." I then got SUPER excited to tell this joke to my wife who was in the other room, so I run in to tell her the joke, but by that point, I was so jazzed about the leaf pun, I completely forgot the rest of the phrase, so all I could babble out was (and this is literally what I said) "Something something LEAF! Something something something," all the while giggling like a madman. I have not heard the end of it.
*After somewhat making a fool of myself while out for dinner"
> My mum: "There's so many ways you can take the piss outta Ben."
> Me: "Yeah, like with a Catheter."
Giggles and groans ensue.
While simultaneously agreeing with a friend and both of us saying "touchΓ©" I dropped "well you know, touchΓ©s are better than one..." Many palms to faces ensued.
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