I can't stand when people kick me in the back of the leg
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︎ Nov 25 2019
My wife threatened to kick me out of the house if I did not stop acting like a Flamingo.
That was when I put my foot down!
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︎ Jan 03 2020
The instructor in my self defence class told me that the most effective place to kick a man is near his knees.
Personally, I think itβs nuts.
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︎ Apr 01 2019
My wife is threatening to kick me out of the house because of my obsession with acting like a news anchor.
More on this after the break.
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︎ Apr 01 2020
Excuse me while I kick this guy!
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︎ Sep 19 2018
My wife is kicking me out because she's fed up with my South American animal puns...
'OK,' I said, 'Alpaca my bags.'
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︎ Nov 08 2020
My wife keeps getting mad at me for kicking ice cubes under our appliances.
But now it's all water under the fridge...
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︎ Nov 18 2020
Do you know the last thing my grandfather said to me before he kicked the bucket?
"Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket."
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︎ Sep 09 2020
I was racing with my younger brother on the track, and then he got mad that I didnβt draw a finish line marker on the sand. We kept racing but he kept losing, and at one point he got so mad he threw a tantrum and started hitting and punching and kicking me furiously
.....and thatβs when I drew the line.
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︎ Sep 12 2020
I'll never forget the last thing my dad said to me before he kicked the bucket.......
He said: "Son, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
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︎ Jul 28 2020
I kicked my lad out because he told me he now identifies as a cow
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︎ Jul 21 2020
My wife was furious at me for kicking ice-cubes all over the kitchen...
But now itβs just water under the fridge...
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︎ Apr 20 2020
I was going to be a doctor but they kicked me out of med school when they found out I was a coward...
The dean said, "It takes guts to learn anatomy."
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︎ Jul 02 2020
My wife just kicked me out of the house
Her exact words were, "I'm Aaron out the house today"
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︎ May 02 2020
They kicked me out of art school when my sculpture didn't work out as planned.
I reached my statue of limitations.
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︎ Feb 05 2020
I once farted in an Apple Store. They kicked me out because they didin't have Windows
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︎ Sep 03 2019
My wife was upset with me last night for kicking ice cubes under the appliances instead of picking them up...
...but this morning itβs just water under the fridge
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︎ Mar 07 2019
My wife kicked me out of the house because I'm still singing Christmas songs.
I said, "But Baby, its cold outside."
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︎ Dec 30 2018
My Philipino wife kicked me out for my general McAurther impersanation. I told here I shall return.
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︎ Sep 25 2019
I went to the Chinese buffet on crab leg night and ate my fill, but they kicked me out.
They said I was being too shellfish.
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︎ May 25 2019
My wife kicked me in the face when I told her: Police! Freeze!
I guess I wonβt be going undercover again.
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︎ Aug 09 2019
My wife got mad at me for kicking the dropped ice cubes under the refrigerator. Then told me I was terrible with directions. And then she added that I should stop cross dressing in her clothes. She also didn't like the female neighbor sun bathing nude in her backyard.
I nearly shit her pants, even though the ice-incident was water under the fridge! I was on the fence about the neighbor sun-bathing nude, but I packed her things and right anyway.
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︎ Mar 09 2019
My wife is threatening to kick me out of the house because of my obsession with impersonating a news anchor...
More on this after the break.
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︎ Jan 08 2020
The instructor in my self defense class told me that the most effective place to kick a man is near his knees.
Personally, I think itβs nuts
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︎ Sep 21 2019
I'll never forget the last words my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket..
He said, "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
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︎ May 06 2020
I'll always remember what my grandfather said to me just before he kicked the bucket.
He said, "Grandson...How far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
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︎ Mar 16 2020
My wife was mad at me for kicking ice cubes under the refrigerator,
but now it's just water under the fridge.
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︎ Mar 03 2020
My wife got mad at me for kicking the dropped ice cubes under the refrigerator.
But now itβs all water under the fridge.
π︎ 4k
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︎ Feb 14 2019
Iβll never forget my dads last words before he kicked the bucket. He looked me in the eyes and said
βSonβ... βhow far do you think I can kick this bucket?β
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︎ Feb 19 2020
I'll always remember what my grandfather told me before he kicked the bucket
"Do you wanna see how far I can kick this bucket?"
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︎ Jan 25 2020
My wife is kicking me out of the house because of my obsession with acting like a TV News anchor.
More on that after the break.
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︎ Aug 29 2019
My wife got mad at me for kicking ice cubes under the refrigerator.
But now it's all water under the fridge.
π︎ 12
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︎ Oct 10 2019
I'll never forget what my dad told me right before he kicked the bucket
He said "son, how far do you think I can kick this?"
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︎ Oct 01 2019
My wife is kicking me out of the house because of my obsession with acting like a TV news anchor.
More on that after the break.
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︎ Aug 24 2019
I'll never forget the last words my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket.
He said, son, how far do you think I can kick this bucket.
π︎ 305
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︎ Jun 04 2018
I remember the last thing my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket.
He said, "watch me kick this bucket"
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︎ Aug 27 2019
My grandfather told me this before he kicked the bucket.
"Check out how far I can kick this bucket."
π︎ 355
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︎ Apr 03 2018
I still remember the last thing my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket
"How far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
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︎ May 22 2019
I still remember the last thing my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket
"How far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
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︎ Jan 23 2019
I still remember what my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket:
βHow far do you think I can kick that bucket?β
π︎ 21
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︎ Aug 09 2018
I will always remember the last thing my grandmother said to me before she kicked the bucket.
She said βlook how far I can kick this bucketβ.
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︎ Mar 23 2019
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