No one told me you'd get an allergic reaction if you stood in between Anna Kendrick and Phil Collins

I didn't expect the Anna-Phil-Axis to be so severe.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/isa5589
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
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So I suggested that we learn about Kendrick Lamar in English...

The teacher said, "no, you're gonna study Ozymandias, ya Bysshe."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrPresidentNERF
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2017
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Why is Kendrick Lamar such a great Christmas elf?

Because he's an incredible rapper.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SamSusich2015
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2017
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Kendrick Llama.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elliess
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2014
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Which rapper cracks great jokes?

Kendrick Lmao

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wizadi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
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Thanks TequilaMockingbird42 imgur.com/gallery/aLJkM
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2014
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Who's fluffy and often drops mad albums?

Kendrick Llama

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xXxHuntressxXx
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
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A List of Puns (and other excuses for good humor)

Me: You got the goods?

Dealer: I have an alloy of iron and carbon for only $1.

Me: My, what a steel!

Guy: Hey, wanna hear my joke?

Boxer: I dunno, man. People always say I ruin their punchline.

Teacher: What are the four components of DNA?

Student: Actually, there are five: Adenine, cytosine, guanine, thymine--

Teacher: Oh? And the fifth one?

Student: I got I got I got I got...

Me (metric): Why does America use the imperial system? It's stupid.

Friend (imperial): Actually, other places use the imperial system.

Me: Which other places?

Friend: The Galactic Empire.

Guy: I hate spam.

Me: I like sushi.

Me: I like sushi.

Me: I like sushi.

...

Someone: Son of a gun...

Someone Else: Now you've just pistoled me off!

Okay, I know these are not the greatest puns ever, but this is my first post in this subreddit. Anyway, now here are the explanations:

Joke 1 - An alloy of carbon and iron is popularly referred to as steel, and stainless steel costs $2.41, in which the item receives a 58.51% reduction in cost, which is a mighty bargain, also known as a steal.

Joke 2 - Boxing is a sport in which your only goal is to knock your opponent out through a series of punches. The ending or twist of a joke is commonly referred to as the punchline of said joke.

Joke 3 - Check out Kendrick Lamar's DNA song.

Joke 4 - Troops and personnel of the Galactic Empire from Star Wars are commonly referred to as the Imperials.

Joke 5 - Spam musubi, or just spam, is a type of sushi. On the internet, spam is referred to as the repetition of a specific message, especially when emailing, to annoy or advertise a product/website to someone.

Joke 6 - The phrase, "Son of a gun", is a friendlier alternative to the phrase, "Son of a bitch!" Also, when you annoy someone, that means that you pissed them off, which sounds a bit like "pistoled".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/U2BURR
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
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Dad got me with the bait and switch

I love Anna Kendrick, and my dad sent me an email with the subject line "Anna Kendrick sings and goes topless in new 'The Last Five Years' clip" with a link to this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JtG2DJnLBEk

As you can see, Anna does not actually go topless in the trailer. When I questioned his subject line, he responded "She's in a topless car..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FeistyDalek
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2014
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