I watched Dumbo live-action movie, but it just didn’t feel the same as the original
I think that by now this premise of a circus animal with huge ears that people make fun of has just become irrelephant
Irishman to bartender: "You will never believe it, I just met two fellows have the exact same birthday as me and their parents have the exact same names."
Bartender: "Well, the Murphy Triplets are drunk again."
Just opened my water bill and my electricity bill at the same time…
Warning: if you drop your Teddy Ruxpin toy like I just did, it will malfunction and keep saying the same few phrases over and over.
Why did the dog lift his leg against the same fencepost another dog just used?
He wanted to share the post his friend liked.
My buddy was in a motorcycle accident and lost half his foot. So now he's handicapped. He's still the same guy, but I just can't hang out with him anymore. So I realized something important about myself.
I'm lack-toes intolerant.
Fathers Day, Mothers Day - aren't they really just the same thing?
Not at all - there's a vas deferens!
I grew up with and will always love Metallica, but they just aren't the same any more.
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It's sad, but true.
first time posting here and yeah i just performed 3 bad puns at the same time
I'm not sure if it's quicker to get to the second floor using just my feet, or my hands and feet at the same time.
But I suspect it's the ladder.
It's just the same song over and over again
My colleague claimed that vinegar is just the same thing as battery acid.
Such a baseless argument.
I keep seeing the same joke that it takes ten tickles to make an octopus laugh. Can we stop with the harassing of sea life and just...
In the US, a popular cereal is Honey Nut Cheerios. I just came back from the UK and they eat the same thing, but it’s called
What would this sub be called after everyone just start reusing the same few jokes?
Just returned from China and my dad still has the same cheesy jokes.
My father his girlfriend and myself were out for supper yesterday. The waiter came around to take orders and she started with my dad's girlfriend. She orders her main dish and the waiter asks, "what would you like for your two sides?"
"what are my options?" his girlfriend asks.
To which my dad replies, "I believe just right and left."
If you are ever feeling like you don’t know your place in the universe, just remember: You and the universe came from the same thing
My dad just told me the worst dad joke ever but I love it at the same time the joke was "Why does Mr Tayto have a phone"
50 Cent just isn't the same
Me: Yeah dad, Snoop Dogg is now Snoopzilla. He used to be Snoop Lion.
Dad: Well maybe 50 Cent should change his name too. He has to beat inflation somehow.
Me: Wow dad, wow.
I just had two colleagues play "Bicycle Race" by Queen at the same time.
I told them it was nice to hear them working in tandem with each other.
I dont have any real ladders...just my step ladders....but I treat them the same...
Since everyone has started washing their hands, door knobs just don’t taste the same.
3,000 dads just made the same joke at the Purdue-Iowa game
A bunch of ROTC kids were getting sworn in at halftime and the lady says, "I, state your name." And I swear to you, half the dads in the stadium go, "I state your name" followed by stifled chuckles
So I found this talking train and asked it why it just went back and forth on the same tracks for its whole life. It responded saying “the voices in my head tell me to”.
For a very long time, I would just make the same italian cuisine over and over again...
But eventually my wife told me to stop with the copypasta.
Ever since my friend got his toes cut off, I just haven't been the same.
I think I may be lack-toes intolerant.
My co-worker just related to me a story about how her high school cross country team used to re-tell the same joke over and over through out the year.
I asked her if it was a running joke...
Ya know, America just wouldn’t be the same without me.
Whenever my dad decides to get the same thing at a restaurant that I just ordered...
"I'll have the same...but on a different plate."
If you find yourself in a debate and you make the same point someone else just made...
Just Want to make sure we're all on the same page here...
Just found this sub, and the same day i did, my dad made this joke.
I was talking to my brother about the game industry and how Apps are being considered as a 'game' now and how that is/isnt acceptable
And my dad chimes in "I could really use anapp right now!"
My buddy was in a motorcycle accident and lost half his foot. So now he's handicapped. He's still the same guy, but I just can't hang out with him anymore. So I realized something important about myself.
I'm lack-toes intolerant.
Just opened my water bill and my electric bill at the same time.
Just opened my water bill and my electric bill at the same time.
Just opened my electric bill and my water bill at the same time.
I was completely shocked.
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