My three year old girl asked me, "Where does poo come from?" I was a little uncomfortable but decided to give her an honest explanation, so I explained, "You just ate breakfast, yes?"

"Yes." she replied.

"Well, the food goes into our tummies and our bodies take out all the good stuff, then whatever is left over, comes out of our bottoms when we go to the toilet! And that, is poo!"

She looked a little perplexed, stared at me in stunned silence for a few seconds and asked, "And Tigger?"

πŸ‘︎ 91
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
A girl just approached me and said she knew me from vegan club

But i swear ive never seen herbivore

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mitcheg3k
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
🚨︎ report
It is just a pun, girl!
πŸ‘︎ 72
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MShafiS
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I just saw my friend sweep a girl off her feet.

He’s a really aggressive janitor.

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Some girl just tried to chat me up by telling me how much potassium, on average, is in a banana.

I just sat there like, K.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/paramedork
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I just started dating a girl who said she’s into bondage.

She said she’d show me the ropes.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedMeade
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad just told me, β€œWhen I was your age and saw a girl, I first looked at her hair, then her eyes, then her neck...”

Damn dial up connections!

πŸ‘︎ 129
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
🚨︎ report
I really have a thing for dumb girls. Just met one who can't fill out multiple choices surveys

She ticks all the boxes

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bermobaron
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
🚨︎ report
My little girl just asked for a goodnight kiss on her nose....

I said I can't kiss that thing it smells!

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bellysbuster
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
🚨︎ report
My sister just had twins, a boy and a girl, and she let me name them! The girl's name is Denise.

The boy's name is Denephew.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YoungMuppet
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a girl who has just deactivated her Tinder account ?

She is in Men-o-pause

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pavanrk1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend just got married to a girl whose last name was China

It is her made in name

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gets_the_dad_joke
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
🚨︎ report
When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother what will I be? Will I be pretty? Will I be rich? Here’s what she said to me.

No.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Got dad joked by a girl I just met, I had to pull over I was laughing so hard.

I was showing her Costco for the first time and I said "Ya Costco is intense!" She replied "No it's not, it's in a warehouse."

πŸ‘︎ 425
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πŸ‘€︎ u/davicrocket
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2015
🚨︎ report
One of my friends is dating a girl who looks just like his mom...

I think his Oedipus Complex is apparent.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeepSnot
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2018
🚨︎ report
In a cafe, I just saw a dad walk up to a girl on a ladder taking down Christmas decorations.

Are you supposed to be working when you're high?

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Muskwatch
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Been interested in a girl, I think this just sealed the deal.

http://imgur.com/XB3aWTv

πŸ‘︎ 62
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FFJCinnabon
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2015
🚨︎ report
Hello /r/dadjokes, my best mate has just started seeing a girl who is in med school. I’m desperate for some doctor related dadjokes/puns/innuendos to lay on him.

Please help

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πŸ‘€︎ u/desem-
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2017
🚨︎ report
I just passed a girl on the street carrying a set of golf clubs...

And she got pissed off when I asked her if she wanted to play a round?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigmikesbeingnice
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2017
🚨︎ report
Got dadjoked by a girl I just started talking to...

So, we had been texting, when I get a call from her, only to realize that it was an unintentional call.

>Me: I think you just butt-dialed me..

>Her: Are you insinuating that I booty called you?

I died laughing. I think this could go somewhere...

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cloneofcloneofme
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2014
🚨︎ report
I just saw a friend of mine sweep a girl off her feet.

He’s quite an aggressive janitor.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend just swept a girl off her feet.

He is quite an aggressive janitor.

πŸ‘︎ 62
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jimmy-jen
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
🚨︎ report

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