Dame Judi Dent.
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📅︎ Feb 16 2021
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Judi tried to sell her old car.

She was having a lot of problems selling it because the car had 250,000 miles. One day, she told her problem to a friend she worked with at a salon. Her friend told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal."

"That doesn't matter," replied Judi, "as long as I can sell the car."

"Okay," said Judi's friend. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the counter in your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car anymore."

The following weekend, Judi made the trip to the mechanic. Two weeks later the friend asked Judi, "Did you sell your car?"

"No," replied Judi, "why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it!"

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👤︎ u/dennyitlo
📅︎ May 11 2020
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How does Judy from Zootopia stay in shape?

She does a lot of hare-obics!

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📅︎ Dec 29 2020
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Jugs Judy.
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📅︎ Dec 26 2020
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What's the difference between Judge Judy & a melting skating rink?

One brings people to justice, whilst the other brings people to just ice.

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👤︎ u/JoshP99
📅︎ Mar 18 2019
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They should make a new reality show like Restaurant Impossible or Bar Rescue, but add a judge like Judge Judy...

and call it "Food Court."

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👤︎ u/paulja
📅︎ Mar 09 2014
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I was watching Zootopia on netflix with my girlfriend over the weekend...

I'm watching it with her, and halfway through the movie something clicks in my head.

Me: "Holy shit I just got it,this is a bunny cop movie"

GF: ......

ME:" instead of a buddy cop movie"

And then she proceeded to beat me

👍︎ 4k
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📅︎ Oct 03 2016
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Guys I'm making a presentation about iron deficiency anemia, can you guys give me some puns related to it?

You guys and gals are awesome!

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📅︎ Dec 20 2014
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No one person can be judge, jury, and executioner

But with a job change, we could have Judge Judy, Executioner

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👤︎ u/geodesic42
📅︎ Jan 12 2019
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Who do you call when someone steals your chocolate?

Fudge Judy.

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📅︎ Nov 03 2017
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Give me your best Celebrity Christmas Puns

Looking for some Celebrity Christmas puns such as "Wreath Witherspoon," "Spruce Willis," "Judy Garland."

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👤︎ u/Gchristine
📅︎ Dec 19 2014
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Three for one at Denny's

Homeless regular at Denny's sits down next to me at the counter.

He says, "Hey, Judy, I'll have a streak and eggs."

Judy, a waitress of sixty-some years inquires, "Do you have enough money for it?"

The man says, "I'd stake my life on it."

Judy gets annoyed and demands to see it, to which the man responds, pulling out a ten dollar bill, "Un-eggs-pected, I know."

She said, "No tip again, huh?"

He shoots back, "C'mon! Meat me in the middle here!"

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👤︎ u/Flipnotyk
📅︎ Dec 01 2014
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I came home to a string of pictures of Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz hung up around the house

my dad said it was a Judy Garland.

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👤︎ u/HaiFrankie
📅︎ Dec 03 2015
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Father of five years comes through.

My father watches Judge Judy everyday at four.

Me: Dad, you missed Judge Judy!

Brother-in-law: How could you misjudge her?!

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👤︎ u/annaftw
📅︎ Dec 26 2013
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