Jim Rooney Puns

Jim Caldwell admits that Green Bay asked him to grow out a mustache for the interview.

I thought I'd take a look at how successful each team/franchise has been with their current owner since I thought the owner might be more responsible for a team's success over a long period of time since they are ultimately responsible for the hiring and firing of the staff who run the team. In some cases, these are individuals who have bought the team, but in other cases, the team has been managed by a partnership or trust since the team was founded. If anyone has any ideas on how to improve on these statistics, or how to make them more reflective of who is actually controlling the teams, please let me know. In any case, I've put the data in an alphabetical table and graph that is sorted by most to least winningest teams.

 

It's easy to overlook given how "World" can basically be called "Cameos: The Motion Picture" given the staggering number of comedic actors showing up for the smallest roles (Jerry Lewis, for example, only appears to run over Spencer Tracy's hat). But the Three Stooges' five second wordless cameo as firemen is memorable because it's such a brilliant joke in the context of the film and the scene they're in. Mickey Rooney and Buddy Hackett are attempting to land a plane they've chartered after drunk pilot Jim Backus passes out, the airfield is chaos, Carl Reiner and Jesse White are up on the control tower trying to talk them down, cops and emergency personnel are running around in a panic...and then we see Moe, Larry and Curly Joe standing there stone-faced in fireman garb, patiently waiting. Brilliant and hysterical for two reasons:

1. The Stooges are the sanest people here? You're fucked.

2. The Stooges are the emergency first responders? You're DOUBLY fucked.

What a great cameo and for only a few seconds.

Now here me out, but drafting a WR is not the need immediately. I know that’s the hot topic, and I was going into the off-season assuming I would want a WR in the first two rounds. But after watching that disastrous performance against the Bills, and taking a short-term and long-term look at our roster, we need to go heavy defense.

Our ILBs this season were mainly Bentley, Collins, and Hightower, all players who are pending free agents after this season, and who were clearly too slow for what they need to be. That’s our top priority to fix this off-season, and it will likely be something Bill puts considerable time fixing.

Beyond ILB, we definitely need to beef up our secondary. McCourty is getting older and older, and while we have a pretty good duo in Philips and Dugger at safety, we need to improve our depth. And our CB position was shown to be a weakness, and if JC Jackson leaves it’s probably the weakest point on the team. Jalen Mills was a competent CB2, and Myles Bryant made a few plays, but I think we can all agree we need to draft a CB this year.

So here’s a hypothetical mock draft, one that I would be particularly happy with, even if it isn’t necessarily what the whole fanbase wants:

1.21: Nakobe Dean, LB, Georgia: could be a game-wrecker. Incredibly fast and reactive LB - if you watched the national championship, you’ll see what I’m talking about. An ideal WILL LB that provides an instant burst of speed. Not sure if he’ll even fall to us, but this would be a pick I’d love.

2.21: Chad Muma, LB, Wyoming: I know, I know, that’s too much LB too early. But Muma could be our next SAM LB of the future. A converted safety with great size, Muma can tackle hard against the run and has shown to have excellent ability to get off blocks and recognize plays. Watch some highlights of Muma, and you’ll see why I’m particularly intrigued by him. A young LB corps of Nakobe, McGrone, and Muma with a veteran to guide them is making me salivate.

3.21: Coby Bryant, CB, Cincinnati: A tremendous leader and hard worker (like his namesake), he won the Jim Thorpe Award for being the top CB in CFB, but is still underappreciated by many, possibly due to playing opposite a guy named Sauce. He’s fluid, he has the intangibles, and he’s instantly make an impact.

Compensatory 3rd (If Mayo leaves, pick comes via Rooney Rule): Wan’Dale Robinson, WR, Kentucky: I have no idea if he’d still be around, but what a steal if he’s here. He’s explosive. He’s twitchy. He’s a great rou

Yesterday, I made a post examining the winning percentages of the different active owners in the NFL. It was quickly pointed out to me that some of the information I gleaned from Wikipedia was incomplete, particularly for franchises that have been passed down from family members.

 

It took a while, but eventually, I managed to find what I believe to be a mostly accurate representation of who was the team's owner/controller and for which periods of time. I did my best to look into every owner on this list and account for when they may have handed the reigns over to someone else for the ones where they didn't maintain control all the way up to their death. I also did my best to include all the major owners for each team, leaving out owners that only controlled the team for a couple of years, so if you see any obvious gaps, that is likely why.

 

As before, let me know if you spot any errors or have something you'd like to see added.

 

Visual Graph sorted by Win %

 

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

During the offseason before we brought in Meyer, we were identified as being one of the top destinations for candidates. Names like Brian Daboll, Eric Bienemy, and Byron Leftwich were heavily linked to us. The assumption was that we'd bring in a younger OC-turned-HC to really try and maximize Lawrence's talents. We reportedly only interviewed Raheem Morris and Eric B (Rooney Rule?)

Obviously, instead Khan went after his personal white whale and hired Urban Meyer with the thinking that he could be a CEO-type "builder" coach. So far, anything Urban has constructed, he himself has torn down. The team's offensive identity is nonexistent, the generational QB prospect is playing poorly, and the only bright spot is a defense too gassed by the third quarter to display good stats.

A recent article came out detailing the fractured locker room and staff relationships. Hopefully Khan realizes he needs to cut bait ASAP and he replaces Urban and installs him someone who can actually coach in the NFL.

Some ideas based on both Khan's history and what benefits this can have on the team's future.

Byron Leftwich
Leftwich was the Jags QB from 2003-06, replacing Mark Brunell and bridging the gap before Garrard. While Khan was not owner during Byron's time, Khan has a history of dealing with what is familiar. He kept Bradley too long, promoted his Asst HC after his firing, brought in Coughlin to run the show in 2017, and usually has at least 1 former Jaguar on staff. So, its not unlikely that Khan would try to bring in a former Jaguar who could run the whole team.

Possible "issues" include that Leftwich would be a first-time HC and his success as OC can't be assessed properly since he had Tom Brady the whole time. That said, fans would be happy and FAs like Shaquill Barrett, Chandler Jones, and Chris Godwin may have some familiarity with him.

Eric Bienemy
We interviewed him in the offseason and he still has not been hired as HC despite being a "hot candidate" for a few years. No one knows why he hasn't been hired yet but its possible he interviews poorly and the fact he doesn't call plays in KC could contribute. Bienemy would likely need to rely on a lot of experience around him, same as Byron. Without familiarity, Khan may not want to hire another "freshman" HC, instead opting for experience. Which brings me to:

Marvin Lewis
A lot of fans of the league look at Lewis as a guy who could never win in the playoffs and who stuck around for a long time. H

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

They’re on standbi

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Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "