Jamonera Puns

We live in the middle of NYC and Philly and my mom doesn’t get out much to the city because my dad is a homebody-country “hate the city” guy. We’ll be in the area visiting for a quick baby shower and I promised my mom I’d take her and treat her. I know NY better than Philly besides the basic concert and pub deal.

Any recommendations? We’re looking for a good drink or 2 and some good paella or a steak.

Sorry to sound touristy but if you ever need a rec I’m a mod at r/poconos LOL

Thanks!

Phil

Sudden Lee

Go post NSFW jokes somewhere else. If I can't tell my kids this joke, then it is not a DAD JOKE.

If you feel it's appropriate to share NSFW jokes with your kids, that's on you. But a real, true dad joke should work for anyone's kid.

Mods... If you exist... Please, stop this madness. Rule #6 should simply not allow NSFW or (wtf) NSFL tags. Also, remember that MINORS browse this subreddit too? Why put that in rule #6, then allow NSFW???

Please consider changing rule #6. I love this sub, but the recent influx of NSFW tagged posts that get all the upvotes, just seem wrong when there are good solid DAD jokes being overlooked because of them.

Thank you,

A Dad.

So far nobody has given me a straight answer

Because a toothbrush works better

I am currently in the hospital. I had a back operation yesterday. The surgical nurse came in my room and started asking questions about my back. She asked me if I had any falls during the last year. I responded just one. It was after summer.

She laughed and said in 20 years of doing this she never was told that joke.

Had to ground him until he could conduct himself properly.

Indian places are naan profit, Vietnamese places are pho profit.

..... Will get a reward.

Because they work on many levels

The Bushes

Well, toucan play at that game.

I want to talk about my father and the wonderful influence he has had on my life,' he told the audience. 'He is a shining example of parenthood, and I love him more than words could ever do justice.'

At this point he seemed to struggle for words. After a pause, he looked up with a sly grin and said, 'Sorry, but it's really hard to read my father’s handwriting.'

Me : For starters, I bring a lot to the table

Argon does not react.

Windows

Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.

They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.

I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.

She said apple-lutely

..and as big as the last two put together.

I’d have $8.40

This happened a few years ago when my son was 6ish. When my kids hurt themselves and it doesn’t look serious I always do the “we might have to amputate that bruised hand” shtick with them. I’ve done it enough that they now roll their eyes.

So, my son got hit lightly in the face with a rubber ball. It wasn’t a hard hit and I could tell he was more upset by the shock of it rather than the pain. So I say “looks like we will have to amputate your nose.” To which he replies “then how will I smell?” And I say “terrible!”

It was my greatest dad joke ever. I felt like I could retire after that.

'Eye-do'

This is my first post pls don't kill me lol.

The people in the comment section is why I love this subreddit!!

Cred once again my sis wants credit lol

Keep in mind, my son is 4 years old, so everything is an original to him.

I had to work late into the evening yesterday, and he was just going to bed when I got home. I had left home for the office nearly 14 hours prior, had a long day, lots of meetings, traffic, etc.

When I walked through the door, I was exhausted, run down, and starving. My wife hugged me and asked how my day was, and I replied, "Done. It was a good day, but has got me exhausted. I just want to grab a bite and go to bed. I'm hungry."

From my son's bedroom, I hear him shout, "Hi Hungry! Nice to meet you!"

Not only did it make me laugh, but I completely forgot about how hungry and tired I was. I went to his bedroom, and we laughed together about it. It was exactly what I needed.

Edit: Thanks for all the awards, kind strangers! I'll let my son know y'all enjoyed his joke too!

I heard parents named their children lance a lot.

First post please don't kill me

Edit: i went to sleep and now my inbox is dead, thank you kind strangers for the awards!

To get to the... Bottom...

(as told by my 5yo son, I'm so proud)

Japan.

"No, the regular kind!" I laughed.

Now, I'm living in a flat.

second hand stores!

it's Hans free now..

" No it doesn't "