James P. Cannon Puns

A list of puns related to "James P. Cannon"

Why doesn't james bond fart in bed?

Because it'll blow his cover

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👤︎ u/p_tally
📅︎ Apr 27 2021
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James Pond's - A View to a Krill
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👤︎ u/Bewondered
📅︎ Jun 21 2021
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We had a potato cannon once. We had some dumpster bread. We were shooting it full of grass, bread and leaves....

Technically our cannon "shoots eats and leaves".

(As in the oxford comma panda assassin... that "eats, shoots, and leaves")

Anyway I've waited years for someone to appreciate this .... and it has never happened so far. I hope you are slightly amused....

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👤︎ u/mavaction
📅︎ May 07 2021
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How does James Bond order his third martini?

Shaken and a little bit slurred

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👤︎ u/whoaswows
📅︎ Jun 17 2021
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What is the resemblance between canon and cannon?

They both destroy ships

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👤︎ u/tadashi4
📅︎ May 07 2021
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R.I.P
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👤︎ u/Einliterflasche
📅︎ Mar 21 2021
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What does James Bond do before he goes to bed?

He goes undercover

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👤︎ u/LegAcyCoolBro
📅︎ Apr 26 2021
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Kevin James and Peter Dinklage walk into a bar

One's a heavy drinker, the other's a little drunk

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👤︎ u/Onechordbassist
📅︎ Jun 28 2021
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What do you call James Bond who tends to make situations inconvenient and difficult?

Trouble 07

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👤︎ u/theimmortalmeluhan
📅︎ Jun 30 2021
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Mate: Aye, the cannons be ready, Cap'n!

Captain: *are

Text adaptation of this

I wish this was my joke.

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👤︎ u/extremely_4getful
📅︎ May 05 2021
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You know what music James Bond likes to listen to?

Queen and country

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👤︎ u/Strawbalicious
📅︎ Jun 19 2021
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What’s long, strong, bendable and has the letters p, i, n, s, e?

Your spine

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👤︎ u/pathrado
📅︎ May 28 2021
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I won’t get to use my water cannon of doom

Water shame

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👤︎ u/Doomboy1808
📅︎ Apr 23 2021
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Where can you buy used James Bond merch?

On Daniels Craiglist

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👤︎ u/CostaRica92
📅︎ Jun 12 2021
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Kevin James Franco in his best role yet!
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👤︎ u/FFPOE
📅︎ May 11 2021
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Why is St. James Gate so cold?

Because it's a bit draughty.

(Courtesy of my dad. Today. Because of my t shirt.)

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👤︎ u/SquishedGremlin
📅︎ Jun 02 2021
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I've started a boat building business in my attic...

...sails are going through the roof.

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👤︎ u/xholdsteadyx
📅︎ May 13 2021
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What do you call James Bond taking a bath?

Bubble 07

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👤︎ u/Life_Uh_Finds_A_Wah
📅︎ Sep 15 2020
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what would James Bond have if he were a shopkeeper

A license to Till

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👤︎ u/sonicblue06
📅︎ Mar 20 2021
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I got a signed LeBron James jersey for my son.

Best trade ever.

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👤︎ u/SacredSyrian
📅︎ Apr 14 2021
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What body part do you spell using the letters P, E, N, I, and S?

Spine.

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👤︎ u/HisokaLaMagician
📅︎ Mar 19 2021
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VIAGRA....It won't make you James Bond....

.....but, it would make you Roger Moore.

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👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ Feb 24 2021
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R.I.P little rock.
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👤︎ u/Sssansss
📅︎ Mar 28 2021
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How does James Bond’s doorbell introduce itself?

Dong. Ding Dong

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👤︎ u/hungytoaster
📅︎ Dec 27 2020
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Why was James Bond kicked out of a toilet?

Because it was not agent's toilet.

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👤︎ u/BowelMovementator
📅︎ Mar 13 2021
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Did you hear about the human cannon-ball?

He was fired recently.

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👤︎ u/Stormbreaker636
📅︎ Dec 23 2020
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My name is James Pond

https://preview.redd.it/9xul1iqrvuh61.jpg?width=577&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aa91d7b8ec2bf5425cbe5c884fccf4de6c658b1e

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👤︎ u/TheRecklesschicken
📅︎ Feb 16 2021
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*This is a literal Dad Joke my father used to tell when I was a kid about 30 years ago. He's almost 80 now and it still makes him laugh.* - So, there was this man named James Fart. Everybody made fun of him since he was very young. "James Fart! James Fart" the bullies used to make him cry...

He came of age among this suffering and at 21 was finally able to legally change his name. He arrived at the government office where he presented himself:

-I'm James Fart and I want to legally change my name!

Of course they laughed at him (everybody did) but eventually they all settled and came around to the situation.

-Ok, so... your current name is.. ·chuckles· James Fart... I'm sorry, I just...

-I know, everybody has been laughing at my name since as long as I can remember.

After a long and tedious process, everything is ready.

-Very well, sorry for the delays but you know how hard this protocols are. The good news: you are no longer "James Fart", what name do you want instead?

-Charles Fart.

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👤︎ u/gone11gone11
📅︎ May 06 2020
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What begins with a P, ends with an E and has a million letters in it

Post office

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👤︎ u/Wizzecian007
📅︎ Jan 09 2021
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James is a gentleman

He starts his relationships with a Bond.

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👤︎ u/just1in8bil
📅︎ Feb 26 2021
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What do you call a Chinese spy?

Lei Yinglo

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👤︎ u/godack
📅︎ May 25 2021
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Great reddit for puns!

This puns are so well polished, the put the take out the ai in spain, move the s to the back and add a u atter the p.

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👤︎ u/Thought_MKT
📅︎ May 17 2021
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If James Hetfield officiated a wedding between Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy.....

He would be the Pastor of Muppets

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👤︎ u/proweld7
📅︎ Oct 09 2020
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What do you call a tricky woman whose initials are P.B.?

Miss Lead!

..Y'know, because Lead is Pb on the periodic table..? All of my friends (okay fine, all one of my friends) just stared at me when I told him.. Thought you folks might appreciate it a little more...

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👤︎ u/pthelynese
📅︎ Jan 15 2021
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R.I.P. Boiled Water

You will be mist.

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👤︎ u/MakingPlansForSmeagl
📅︎ Jan 13 2021
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Still working on my beef and cream of mushroom cannon

Starting to worry it’s not stroganoff 🤦🏻‍♂️

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👤︎ u/Bradb717
📅︎ Sep 21 2020
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Why do cannons always spit out their ammo?

Because if they swallowed, it'd be cannonballism.

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👤︎ u/A_Sweet_Lemon
📅︎ Jul 11 2020
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What do you call James Bond taking a bath?

Bubble 07

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👤︎ u/mr_nameless_one
📅︎ Jan 12 2021
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Why doesn't James Bond fart in bed ?

Because, it would blow his cover.

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👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ Jan 25 2021
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What do you call James Bond taking a bath?

Bubble O 7

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👤︎ u/rhshi14
📅︎ Feb 20 2021
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What do you call James Bond taking a bath ?

Bubble O7.

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👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ Mar 16 2021
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Why doesn't James Bond fart in bed?

Because it would blow his cover

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👤︎ u/oneplusoneisfive
📅︎ Feb 02 2021
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What do you call james bond taking a bath?

Bubble 07

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👤︎ u/torrenter_11
📅︎ Jan 05 2021
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James Bond enjoying himself

What do you call James Bond in a bath?

Bubble 07

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👤︎ u/Llyr508
📅︎ Jan 20 2021
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