A list of puns related to "Is 95"
But $52.94 is an evenly specific amount of money
True story, I work in the health industry, get to ask these questions from time to time:
Me: Good morning (of course no matter what time of day it is)! I have 4 questions for you, letβs see if you studied for the test...
Patient: (most of the time, chuckle)
Me: Have you had a fever in the last 48 hours?
Patient: No
Me: Have you had a persistent cough recently?
Patient: No
Me: Have you been tested for COVID-19 recently?
Patient (sometimes): Yes
Me: Do you know the results of the test?
Patient (about 85% of the time): Negative
Me: You donβt know the results of the test? (Straight face behind mask)
Patient: It was negative
Me: (smile and chuckle showing through mask)
Patient: Ohhhh! I get it! (Laughs 95% of the time)
Me: Dad jokes have to happen... π
/insert question #4 here, unrelated to said joke... heh
But there is a 95% chance you wonβt get it.
...a chicken and mushroom pie for Β£1.60 and an apple pie for Β£2.15.
In St Kitts and Nevis a steak and kidney pie will cost you Β£2, a chicken pie (without mushrooms) is Β£1.70 and a cherry pie can be yours for Β£1.95.
Those are the Pie Rates of the Caribbean
Credit goes to an excellent joke making friend of mine
The scene where Max is grabbed by the Pole Cat,
http://cdn.collider.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/mad-max-fury-road-image-the-war-rig.jpg
and ends up getting dumped onto the car with the drums and guitar guy
http://i.guim.co.uk/static/w-620/h--/q-95/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2015/3/31/1427821675682/5e25da37-61d7-44fd-a9a3-b2f5b8b5a791-620x372.jpeg
I leaned over to my GF and said "It looks like he's jumped onto... the bandwagon" She totally lost it :)
[Driving down an unfamiliar part of I-95 highway with family (wife, 15yo son and 15yo daughter) when I had this conversation with my son:]
Son: Dad, where are we?
Me: Florida.
Son: No, Dad, more specific than that. Where are we?
Me : (reading exit sign) Wickham Road.
Son: Where's Wickham Road?
Me: (pause a bit for effect) Florida...
Son: (frustrated grunt) No, Dad, what town are we in?
Me: (reading exit sign again) Viera.
Son: How far is that from Vero? [our destination]
Me: About three letters.
[Satisfactory groans throughout car. Very pleased with self.]
True story:
Took my stepdad to dinner at Cracker Barrel with my mom and gf on Father's Day. There was an advertisement on our table for a birdbath they were selling in the store part of the restaurant.
Mom (seeing that it was $49.95): "I wonder how big that birdbath is?"
Gf: "I think it's about this big" (holds arms in a circle indicating about 18 inches around)
Mom: "That's actually not a bad deal"
Stepdad: "Well, yeah, but where are the birds gonna get fifty bucks?"
o.o
I'm an EMT and I was doing paperwork. My partner walks up to me with the vitals of a patient. BP was done with an automated cuff. Me: What's the blood pressure? Him: 165/95 Me: That's odd, heart rate? Him: 77 Me: Odd, respirations? Him: 16, is that odd too? Me: No, that's even.
I found it hilarious.
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