Inductively Puns

Co-worker: I found another project of yours, two in a row, what are the odds?

Me: Never tell me the odds

Co-worker: LOL dad jokes ftw Terrible

Me: I know I'm so happy I get to tell them now, there was an induction ceremony and everything!!

It’s my induction day.

He got inducted into the Raw Kin Roll Hall of Fame

I call it proof by induction.

Dad randomly chuckles and says "If Sidney Crosby kidnapped Rick Nash's son, it would be Crosby Steals Nash's Young." I laugh, girlfriend and mother groan.

My wife was figuring out how to breastfeed for the first time and she asked herself out loud, "How do I know if she is rooting for the nipple?" I told her that it would sound something like this, "Go nipple go nipple go! Go nipple go nipple go!" She rolled her eyes and my dad status was officially achieved. I'm looking forward to a long, successful career.

Me: "My brother is on the paleo diet at the moment - Perhaps it similar - He keeps eating chicken on it's own from the packet."

Colleague: "Well I think in dinosaur times they didn't have packaging and Sainsbury's and the like."

Me: "No I suppose not, and they didn't really have fire either, so cooking was pretty much out of the question unless they had induction."

My carpool buddy was hitting me with these on the way to work today.

"What car do classy cows drive? "

• Cowdillacs

"What cars do redneck cows drive?"

• Cowmaros and Moostangs. I added that they are also a fan of COWl induction.

"Who's the longest standing baseball player?"

• Cowl Ripken

"Have you heard of the famous bovine biologist, Jaques Cowsteau?"