I can't make this shit up
Tyler Burden.
Dave.
I bet it was nuts.
What do you think they'd charge you with?
That would be the peenickel of society.
There’d be mass confusion.
Imagine being held at gunpoint by (bear with me) a literal animal, and the only hope of rescue is (BEAR WITH ME) posting a coded message on social media.
wHo the hEll would beLieve such a thing can hapPen?
Where there's a Will, there's a way.
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It's unthinkable
but he hesitated
Cue about 10mins of me asking "What's her name?"
And her saying "Mrs Watt"
"I don't know, you tell me, what's her name?"
"Mrs Watt"
"What?"
"Yes"
"What's her name?"
"Mrs Watt"
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Imagine whispering "god i'm hungry" under your breath, and a great big booming voice would answer "HI HUNGRY, I'M GOD"
Not only does he prefer to work graveyard shift, but he's sure got spirit, too
Must have been a sinking feeling.
...and getting sued for crimes against your manatee
Me: Break the wall? Him: Just wake up from your imagination.
And there was a long line of people waiting to take a swing at you.
That’s the punch line
That'd be a helluva lot of bytes
I have a complex complex complex.
Now I have step throat.
But it was just a pigment of my imagination.
That would be truly alarming.
That would be legendairy.
Clock - Vapor - Wizards
- The Clock reminds Wizards that they too shall pass
- Vapor voids the Clock's guarantee
- Wizards control Vapor
Wok - Baker - Snickers
- The Wok deep fries the Snickers
- The Baker inventories the Wok
- Snickers repulses the Baker
Frock - Rapier - Strippers
- The Frock covers the Rapier
- The Rapier stabs Strippers
- Strippers take off the Frock
The hand signs are up to your imagination!
Wife: It's "not" in german.
Me: That's good to know, but what does it mean?
“BOOM”?!
He pasta way.
A pigment of your imagination.
Confused, he asks the bartender why this is.
“Well, it’s a promotion we are running. If you can jump up and grab one, you get a free New York Strip dinner, on us! But, if you attempt to do so and miss, you gotta buy one for every person here instead.”
The guy takes a moment to scan the bar, counting up the number of patrons in his head, before turning to the bartender and replying
“Ah, no thanks. The steaks are too high.”
——— Shout out to my dad for telling me this joke dozens of times throughout my life. It never fails to get a laugh outta a new crowd. Thanks Joe, you da best.
He stood up and said "Plethora" , and the woman said "Thanks, that means a lot."
And another man stood up and said, "Bargain" and the woman said, "Thanks, that means a great deal."
Yet another stood up and said, "Earth" and the woman said, "Thanks, that means the world."
Yet another stood up and said, "Infinity" and the woman said, "Thanks, that means more than you can imagine."
Yet another stood up and said, "Being Alive" and the woman said, "Thanks, my husband would have loved that."
Another person simply held up a sprig of mentha spicata, and the widow said, "Thanks, that's a lovely scent of mint."
Turns out it was just a pigment of my imagination.
I don't think I could bear it
That just can't be real.
They don’t want to be saddled down.
Imagine the damage alcohol can do ?
Especially when she’s from my imagination.
Filet minion
There would be mass confusion
