I really like what mechanics wear...
I knew what apple juice tasted like before I even tried it.
I had in-cider information.
A fat man came into the store trying to decide if he wanted a hammock. He laid down in the display model and I tried pushing him so he could feel what it was like to gently rock. I wasn't strong enough. He left without purchasing it.
It's days like these I remember what my Grandad said before he kicked the bucket...
He said "Hey, watch how far I can kick this bucket."
What I don't like about rain is its attitude...
What i orange and sounds like a parrot?
My girlfriend wanted to know what I look like with my glasses on but i told her I’ve been trying to find them for three days, she said “please I need to see”
I said yeah me too that’s why I’m looking for my glasses
I need help - What does digital coffee taste like
I invited an old friend to digital coffee and they ask what digital coffee tastes like...i need a comeback/pun!
My buddy Jerry had to get taken to the hospital, unfortunately it looked like he needed to be operated on. He was unconscious and when he came to, he asked “what’s going to happen, am I going to be alright?”
I’ve always wondered what it’s like to be a telephone pole...
I bet it would be electrifying
I was working in our store when my son called me over and said, “Two guys came in and tried to give me some fake fifty dollar bills.” I asked. “What did they look like?” He replied...
I asked my Chinese friend what it's like to live in China
He says he can't complain
My daughter asked what pig milk tastes like. I said it's sower.
I found what looked like a kitten frozen in my iced-over pool. I dug it out and let it defrost, it turned out to be a big squirrel.
I thought I thaw a pussycat.
I was working behind the bar today when two guys came in and tried to pay with a couple of counterfeit £10 notes. When I told the manager, he asked what they looked like..
“Like £10 notes” I told him
I put on a blindfold to see what I would look like in the mirror.
To be honest, I just don't see myself wearing it.
I asked my wife “What’s it like having to deal with periods?”
She said “I just go with the flow”.
I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, "I know something about this cemetery that you don’t.” And I was like what is it? He continued, "The people living in this town can’t be buried here.” I was really confused so I asked why?
He rasped, "Cuz they’re still alive!"
You wanna know what I don't like about babies?
They're all born with da fetus attitudes.
My son asked me what it’s like to be married so I told him to leave me.
When he did, I asked why he was ignoring me.
When I came home from my first day at my new job my wife asked me what my new schedule was like. I said it looks like Rihanna...
...because all I can see is work, work, work, work, work...
I was robbed outside and went in to report the crime. When I walked in, someone asked me what it was like outside.
I said, “it’s a bit muggy.”
"Dad, what's it called if I like both boys and girls," the male buffalo said.
"I believe would be a bi-son," his father replied.
It was a long time ago, a different time, when Bach wrote his music. I wonder what life was like Bach then 🎹
She: Babes I'm pregnant!! I wonder what our son is gonna look like.
Me: nah, he's gonna wonder what I look like.
Do you know what I like about nuns?
A man walks into a doctors office. “What seems to be the problem?” Asks the doc. “It’s... um... well... i have five penises.” Replies the man. “Blimey!” Says the doctor, “how do your trousers fit?” “Like a glove.”
What I like about glove jokes
Is that they always come in handy
Sent my husband for a bandaid for my daughter’s toe. She asked what was on it as I put it on her, and I said “it looks like Olaf”, to which my husband replied...
“I think you mean Toe-laf”.
I once tied myself to a tree to see what bondage feels like.
Turns out I was just a sad sap.
I wanted to make a joke about potassium so, I was like oK what is the best way to make a pun out of this.
I used Brylcreem this morning to slick back my hair like my father used to do. My wife asked me what I was doing.
I said, "I'm having a dad hair day."
I went to the doctor and he told me: "Don't eat anything fatty." I asked: "What like pizzas or burgers?"
He replied: "No fatty. Just don't eat anything."
This morning I asked my wife like a reporter, "The world wants to know, what it's like being married to the funniest man alive?"
She said, "Meh."
So I immediately said, "You heard it here, folks, it's a meh zing."
While my kids were colouring with markers I fell asleep on the couch. The little buggers thought it would be funny to draw all over my face to make me look like "the devil". I woke up and went to the grocery store to do our weekly shopping & didn't realise what had happened until I got home.
I wonder what my new cat will look like?
Tabby... or not tabby... that is the question.
When it comes to what I like most about dad jokes, I will say this:
You know what I like about working at the morgue?
People are just dying to get in.
I’ll never forget what I said to the water buffalo I treated like my child when I had to let him go,
I hate it when people ask me,”what do you think the future is going to be like?”
Know what I like about midgets?
I asked my bi friend what their bed life is like
They said it was a bit of give and take
I asked my friend what it was like to learn Braille, but he won’t tell me.
It seems like a touchy subject.
I would like to no what this has to do with lumber
My young son “said” he made dinner today. He brought me a banana like balloon on a hot dog bun. Confused I said “ummmm.. thank you .. but...what’s this??”
He said it’s a Halloweenie!
I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, "I know something about this cemetery that you don’t.” And I was like what is it? He continued, "The people living in this town can’t be buried here.” I was really confused so I asked why?
He rasped, "Cuz they’re still alive!"
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