I Have Puns

I haven't touched it in years.

"Yes, my master, I have."

"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?"

"Yes, my master, I have witnessed it."

"And the moon, when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?"

"Yes, my master, I have also seen this marvelous phenomenon."

"That is the problem. You keep watching all this shit instead of training."

He has selfie steam issues.

I paused for a second while I thought and mumbled, “It’s you. I can tell by the voice.”

Now, I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B!

I said, “That’s Heinz sight for you.”

I call him Dr. Awkward.

Edit: I have dyslexia*

I don't listen - and something else.

If good;

The good news is there is no bad news.

If bad;

The bad news is there is no good news.

I get terrified just thinking about it.

They’re not taking it very well

Orchid

He's a Singer songwriter, or sew it seams.

Apparently it is private.

I think I'll label it the "Ex-Files"

Daddy, you're sad because it's SADurday.

I was so proud.

It’s my jingle bell rock.

They said: "In space nobody can. Here, use cream"

So imagine you are transexual but suddenly one day you decide to stop being it. Then you are Trans former?

I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”

Me: "and?"

I have never had a beef with one.

.....but then I changed my mind.

So I packed up my stuff and right.

Jen, you in the living room?

I’ll hand them to her and say “Here’s the fruits of your labor.”

Walter Wall.

I’ve started taking steps to avoid them

I said, “Where did that come from?”

Turns out, they’re all bark and no bite.

Me: Yeah, well I have three pee!

...happy days!

but it handles all my kneads.

I get hungry.

It’s starting to become a running joke at this point

Two: stop referring to last year's junk food binge as 'the accident'

I only laugh at dead people

So I packed up my stuff and right.

So I packed up my stuff and right.