I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment about their moustache, and suddenly...
She isnβt your friend anymore.
π︎ 126
π
︎ Mar 08 2021
I hate it when my wife says "Are you listening to me?!"
Such a random way to start a conversation.
π︎ 13k
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︎ Jun 14 2020
You know I hate engineer students sometimes
For example I hate it when engineer students call themself engineers like you don't hear med students calling themself doctors or art students calling themself unemployed.
π︎ 15
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︎ Nov 19 2020
I made this. Do you hate me yet?
π︎ 30
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︎ Aug 05 2020
I made up a joke so get ready to hate on me. Trump (I know it's topical).... Trump was nervous during the election and was asked "hey, do you want some spiced tea"?
π︎ 8
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︎ Nov 03 2020
I hate it when people don't know the difference between your and you're...
π︎ 37
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︎ Jul 06 2020
I said to my wife βI hate to tell you this babe, but your bathing suit is too revealing and tightβ
She said βthen wear your own one thenβ
π︎ 104
π
︎ Jun 28 2020
You know what I hate about Croatia?
When the cops start to Pula me over.
π︎ 2
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︎ Oct 01 2020
I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you you need to be "saved" or you'll "burn"
π︎ 2k
π
︎ May 24 2019
I hate spelling errors. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined.
π︎ 232
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︎ Jul 26 2019
I hate it when my wife says, "Are you listening to me?".
I'm not 'Listening To Me', I'm Dad!
π︎ 3
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︎ Jun 21 2020
You know, I really hate companies like EA
Pay Β£2.99 to view punchline
π︎ 59
π
︎ Jul 27 2019
You know what I hate about broken pencils?
π︎ 35
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︎ Dec 04 2019
You know I was on a eSports team for farming simulator 2019 once. Thatβs why I hate FPS games.
π︎ 2
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︎ May 28 2020
Donβt you hate it when people answer their own questions? I do.
π︎ 60
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︎ Sep 11 2019
You know what I hate?
- Lists
- Irony
- Lipstick in my valentino white bag
- Lipstick in my valentino white bag
- Repetitions
π︎ 5
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︎ Feb 24 2020
I hate it when people ask me,βwhat do you think the future is going to be like?β
I donβt have 2020 vision
π︎ 19
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︎ Nov 22 2019
You know, I just really hate bathrooms...
Thatβs where all the dicks hang out
π︎ 5
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︎ Sep 13 2019
I hate myself for drawing this. I present to you, iron man.
π︎ 26
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︎ Mar 25 2019
I hate those "loyalty cards" that you get from Starbucks, etc.
I got "too many" points on one of them, and now I'm not allowed to drive :(
π︎ 4
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︎ Nov 20 2019
I hate spelling. You mess up just 2 letters, and your word is urined.
π︎ 31
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︎ Apr 19 2019
I hate those people who come and pound on your door, telling you to get out or youβll burn.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 24 2019
Not a joke per se, but definitely fits - I texted my daughter "in a bottle" and then waited for her to ask "what's this I don't get it. How come out of the blue you just randomly send me the message 'in a...' ... I hate you"
Had potential to misfire but worked perfectly.
Also, the other day my wife left a Monster energy drink under her bed, and we waited for her to come and ask "ok who put this monster under my bed?"
π︎ 19
π
︎ Apr 02 2019
Do you know why I hate circles?
I think they're utterly pointless.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Mar 01 2019
"I hate everything you stand for!"
I yelled at the poor man whose chair had been stolen.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 09 2019
You know why I hate Julius Caesar jokes?
π︎ 17
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︎ Oct 23 2018
The sheep says to the shepherd "you're an asshole and I hate you!" and the shepherd says "Say what?"
And the sheep goes "You herd me!"
π︎ 15
π
︎ May 14 2019
You know why I hate butternut squash?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 02 2019
I like to claim that the Greek Orthodox secretly run the world through its financial networksβ¦For some reason people are ok with that, try putting a different religion in there and suddenly youβre a conspiracy theorist and hate criminal
Those Catholics are real sensitive sometimes
π︎ 12
π
︎ May 22 2019
You know what I hate about Hasbro?
They're such trouble makers.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 01 2018
I hate when people spell 'your' when they mean 'you're'.
π︎ 27
π
︎ Jan 22 2018
I donβt know about you guys but I hate splinters.
They are always getting under my skin
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 10 2019
I hate one-upmanship more than you do.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Feb 22 2019
Do you know why i hate bottom feeders
Because there all shellfish
π︎ 10
π
︎ Oct 10 2018
You know I hate engineer students sometimes.
For example I hate it when engineer students call themself engineers like you don't hear med students calling themself doctors or art students calling themself the next hitler
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 19 2020
I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you you need to get "saved" or you'll "burn"..
π︎ 12k
π
︎ May 18 2018
I hate it when people donβt know the difference between your and youβre
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 03 2019
I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you you need to get βsavedβ or you'll βburnβ
π︎ 24
π
︎ May 24 2019
I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you you need to get βsavedβ or you'll βburnβ
I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you you need to get βsavedβ or you'll βburnβ
Stupid Firemen
π︎ 8
π
︎ Sep 25 2019
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly sheβs not your friend anymore.
π︎ 43
π
︎ Jun 23 2019
I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you you need to get βsavedβ or you'll βburnβ
π︎ 32
π
︎ Jun 06 2019
I hate it when people mix up Your and Youβre.
π︎ 32
π
︎ Sep 26 2018
I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you that you need to get "saved" or you'll "burn"
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jul 15 2019
You know what I hate?
People who answer their own questions.
π︎ 51
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︎ May 12 2018
I hate those people who knock at your door and say you need to be saved or youβll burn.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jun 06 2019
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