I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment about their moustache, and suddenly...
She isnโt your friend anymore.
๐๏ธ 126
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๏ธ Mar 08 2021
I hate it when my wife says "Are you listening to me?!"
Such a random way to start a conversation.
๐๏ธ 13k
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๏ธ Jun 14 2020
You know I hate engineer students sometimes
For example I hate it when engineer students call themself engineers like you don't hear med students calling themself doctors or art students calling themself unemployed.
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๏ธ Nov 19 2020
I made this. Do you hate me yet?
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๏ธ Aug 05 2020
I made up a joke so get ready to hate on me. Trump (I know it's topical).... Trump was nervous during the election and was asked "hey, do you want some spiced tea"?
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๏ธ Nov 03 2020
I hate it when people don't know the difference between your and you're...
๐๏ธ 37
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๏ธ Jul 06 2020
I said to my wife โI hate to tell you this babe, but your bathing suit is too revealing and tightโ
She said โthen wear your own one thenโ
๐๏ธ 104
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๏ธ Jun 28 2020
You know what I hate about Croatia?
When the cops start to Pula me over.
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๏ธ Oct 01 2020
I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you you need to be "saved" or you'll "burn"
๐๏ธ 2k
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๏ธ May 24 2019
I hate spelling errors. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined.
๐๏ธ 232
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๏ธ Jul 26 2019
I hate it when my wife says, "Are you listening to me?".
I'm not 'Listening To Me', I'm Dad!
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๏ธ Jun 21 2020
You know, I really hate companies like EA
Pay ยฃ2.99 to view punchline
๐๏ธ 59
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๏ธ Jul 27 2019
You know what I hate about broken pencils?
๐๏ธ 35
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๏ธ Dec 04 2019
You know I was on a eSports team for farming simulator 2019 once. Thatโs why I hate FPS games.
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๏ธ May 28 2020
Donโt you hate it when people answer their own questions? I do.
๐๏ธ 60
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๏ธ Sep 11 2019
You know what I hate?
- Lists
- Irony
- Lipstick in my valentino white bag
- Lipstick in my valentino white bag
- Repetitions
๐๏ธ 5
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๏ธ Feb 24 2020
I hate it when people ask me,โwhat do you think the future is going to be like?โ
I donโt have 2020 vision
๐๏ธ 19
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๏ธ Nov 22 2019
You know, I just really hate bathrooms...
Thatโs where all the dicks hang out
๐๏ธ 5
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๏ธ Sep 13 2019
I hate myself for drawing this. I present to you, iron man.
๐๏ธ 26
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๏ธ Mar 25 2019
I hate those "loyalty cards" that you get from Starbucks, etc.
I got "too many" points on one of them, and now I'm not allowed to drive :(
๐๏ธ 4
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๏ธ Nov 20 2019
I hate spelling. You mess up just 2 letters, and your word is urined.
๐๏ธ 31
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๏ธ Apr 19 2019
I hate those people who come and pound on your door, telling you to get out or youโll burn.
๐๏ธ 3
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๏ธ Jun 24 2019
Not a joke per se, but definitely fits - I texted my daughter "in a bottle" and then waited for her to ask "what's this I don't get it. How come out of the blue you just randomly send me the message 'in a...' ... I hate you"
Had potential to misfire but worked perfectly.
Also, the other day my wife left a Monster energy drink under her bed, and we waited for her to come and ask "ok who put this monster under my bed?"
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๏ธ Apr 02 2019
Do you know why I hate circles?
I think they're utterly pointless.
๐๏ธ 12
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๏ธ Mar 01 2019
"I hate everything you stand for!"
I yelled at the poor man whose chair had been stolen.
๐๏ธ 6
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๏ธ Aug 09 2019
You know why I hate Julius Caesar jokes?
๐๏ธ 17
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๏ธ Oct 23 2018
The sheep says to the shepherd "you're an asshole and I hate you!" and the shepherd says "Say what?"
And the sheep goes "You herd me!"
๐๏ธ 15
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๏ธ May 14 2019
You know why I hate butternut squash?
๐๏ธ 3
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๏ธ Aug 02 2019
I like to claim that the Greek Orthodox secretly run the world through its financial networksโฆFor some reason people are ok with that, try putting a different religion in there and suddenly youโre a conspiracy theorist and hate criminal
Those Catholics are real sensitive sometimes
๐๏ธ 12
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๏ธ May 22 2019
You know what I hate about Hasbro?
They're such trouble makers.
๐๏ธ 3
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๏ธ Jul 01 2018
I hate when people spell 'your' when they mean 'you're'.
๐๏ธ 27
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๏ธ Jan 22 2018
I donโt know about you guys but I hate splinters.
They are always getting under my skin
๐๏ธ 3
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๏ธ Mar 10 2019
I hate one-upmanship more than you do.
๐๏ธ 8
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๏ธ Feb 22 2019
Do you know why i hate bottom feeders
Because there all shellfish
๐๏ธ 10
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๏ธ Oct 10 2018
You know I hate engineer students sometimes.
For example I hate it when engineer students call themself engineers like you don't hear med students calling themself doctors or art students calling themself the next hitler
๐๏ธ 4
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๏ธ Nov 19 2020
I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you you need to get "saved" or you'll "burn"..
๐๏ธ 12k
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๏ธ May 18 2018
I hate it when people donโt know the difference between your and youโre
๐๏ธ 8
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๏ธ Nov 03 2019
I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you you need to get โsavedโ or you'll โburnโ
๐๏ธ 24
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๏ธ May 24 2019
I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you you need to get โsavedโ or you'll โburnโ
I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you you need to get โsavedโ or you'll โburnโ
Stupid Firemen
๐๏ธ 8
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๏ธ Sep 25 2019
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly sheโs not your friend anymore.
๐๏ธ 43
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๏ธ Jun 23 2019
I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you you need to get โsavedโ or you'll โburnโ
๐๏ธ 32
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๏ธ Jun 06 2019
I hate it when people mix up Your and Youโre.
๐๏ธ 32
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๏ธ Sep 26 2018
I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you that you need to get "saved" or you'll "burn"
๐๏ธ 7
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๏ธ Jul 15 2019
You know what I hate?
People who answer their own questions.
๐๏ธ 51
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๏ธ May 12 2018
I hate those people who knock at your door and say you need to be saved or youโll burn.
๐๏ธ 4
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๏ธ Jun 06 2019
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