I had a dream that I invented a new color

But when I woke up I realized it was just a pigment of my imagination.

πŸ‘︎ 112
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
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Last night I had a dream that I ate a 50 lb marshmallow.

This morning I woke up and my pillow was gone.

Today is the 13th anniversary of my father passing and this was my favorite joke that he used to tell. Enjoy.

πŸ‘︎ 249
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πŸ‘€︎ u/james-macavoy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.

I was like, 0mg!

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
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In a dream I was being chased by a trillion male cows...

...it was terabull.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BXCellent
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
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I dreamed I met a long snake-like fish who had been knighted by the queen.

It was Sir Eel.

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zenpod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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Last night I was dreaming I was swing in a ocean of Fanta...

but turns out it was just a Fanta sea.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WWG_Genius
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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I told my doctor I keep dreaming I've turned into a wigwam or a teepee.

He said, "You're too tense".

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KCL80
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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I knew a man who worked in restaurants his entire life. On his death bed, he told me he regretted that he never left to follow his dreams..

It was never the right time, so he spent his whole life waiting.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AhSparaGus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
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My wife sent me a heartwarming text that read, β€œIf you're sleeping, send me your dreams. If you're laughing, send me your smile. If you're eating, send me a bite. If you're drinking, send me a sip. If you're crying, send me your tears. I love you!”

I replied, β€œI'm on the toilet, please advise…”

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
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I had a terrible dream where I was being chased by a female horse after sunset.

It was a night mare.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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I dreamed of becoming a professional fisherman

But I found out that I couldn't live on my net income

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TehFuriousKid
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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A man bursts into his therapist's office and says, "Doc, you gotta help me. I keep dreaming I'm stuck inside a deck of cards!"

The therapist looked up from his paperwork and said, "I'm busy now. I'll deal with you later."

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda

It was a Fanta Sea

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shadynasty94
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
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I had a dream where I thought I was in a trigonometric function of an angle...

I thought I was in-sine!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
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Last night, I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. But it was just a

Fanta sea

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kilbenator
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
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I recently pursued my dream career of becoming a very successful plagiarizer.

I tried, but I didn't make it.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
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Last night, I had a dream that I had discovered a new color.

But it just turned out to be a pigment of my imagination.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Long-Afternoon
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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I HAD A DREAM LAST NIGHT THAT I KNIGHTED AN ELECTRIC FISH.....

IT WAS SIR EEL

πŸ‘︎ 166
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
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I once had a dream about the future

There was milk in the fridge

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gl1tchyVirus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
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I went to the doctor, told him I keep having these dreams I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam. Teepee then a wigwam. What's wrong with me, I asked.

Oh, that's easy, said the doctor: you're two tents. (too tense)

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Charles_Deetz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
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I keep having this dream about a horse in full battle armor.

Actually it's probably more of a knight mare.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
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Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.

I was like, 0mg.

πŸ‘︎ 125
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheVengefulKitten
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.

I was like, 0mg.

πŸ‘︎ 376
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YostYost
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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Today I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram

I was like 0mg

πŸ‘︎ 214
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tehmayormccheese
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
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I had a dream that I was a muffler last night

I woke up exhausted!

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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I had a dream I was a muffler last night.

and I woke up exhausted.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SimonHaddad
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.

I was like, 0mg.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kgangadhar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.

I was like, 0mg

πŸ‘︎ 83
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Odinnextgen
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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I had a strange dream last night that I was a muffler.

I woke up exhausted.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thirteen_20
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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Dreamed I Was a Muffler Last Night

Woke up exhausted.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AstrosAtoZ
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
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Last night I had a dream that I ate a twenty pound marshmallow.

I woke up this morning and my pillow was gone.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crank740
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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I had a dream that I was a muffler

I woke up exhausted

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deadlyporkchop7
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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I had a dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow

When I woke up my pillow was gone

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Had a dream that I was a tailpipe last night

I woke up exhausted

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Dreamed I was a muffler last night…

Woke up exhausted

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shadynasty94
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I had a dream that I was weightless

I was like 0mg.

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/recovery_room
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I had a dream that I was a muffler...

I woke up exhausted.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/paulie_i_yt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I had a dream last night that I was a muffler.

I woke up exhausted!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/afarris5
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I had a dream I was swimming in a ocean of orange soda...

Turns out it was just a Fanta Sea.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LanaBabie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Had a dream I was a muffler...

Woke up exhausted.

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrcookie623
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Last night I had a dream that I was a muffler

I woke up exhausted.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Berk-Laydee
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Last night I had a dream I was a car muffler

Ugh, I woke up exhausted

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AwesomeBlossem
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Dreamed I was a muffler last night...

I woke up exhausted.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lipisko
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda

It was a Fanta sea.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/joebaby1975
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I had a dream I was drowning in orange soda.

When I woke up I realized it was a Fanta sea.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ilikechefboyardee
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram....

I was like 0mg!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ElderHallow
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
🚨︎ report
A patient bursts into his therapist's office and shouts, "Doc, you gotta help me. I keep dreaming that I'm trapped in a deck of cards!"

The therapist turns from his current patient and says, "I'm busy now. I'll deal with you later."

πŸ‘︎ 76
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2020
🚨︎ report

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