I had a dream that I invented a new color
But when I woke up I realized it was just a pigment of my imagination.
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︎ Feb 07 2021
Last night I had a dream that I ate a 50 lb marshmallow.
This morning I woke up and my pillow was gone.
Today is the 13th anniversary of my father passing and this was my favorite joke that he used to tell. Enjoy.
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︎ Jan 06 2021
Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.
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︎ Feb 03 2021
In a dream I was being chased by a trillion male cows...
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︎ Jan 31 2021
I dreamed I met a long snake-like fish who had been knighted by the queen.
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︎ Dec 22 2020
Last night I was dreaming I was swing in a ocean of Fanta...
but turns out it was just a Fanta sea.
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︎ Jan 06 2021
I told my doctor I keep dreaming I've turned into a wigwam or a teepee.
He said, "You're too tense".
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︎ Jan 19 2021
I knew a man who worked in restaurants his entire life. On his death bed, he told me he regretted that he never left to follow his dreams..
It was never the right time, so he spent his whole life waiting.
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︎ Jan 14 2021
My wife sent me a heartwarming text that read, βIf you're sleeping, send me your dreams. If you're laughing, send me your smile. If you're eating, send me a bite. If you're drinking, send me a sip. If you're crying, send me your tears. I love you!β
I replied, βI'm on the toilet, please adviseβ¦β
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︎ Jun 15 2020
I had a terrible dream where I was being chased by a female horse after sunset.
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︎ Dec 04 2020
I dreamed of becoming a professional fisherman
But I found out that I couldn't live on my net income
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︎ Nov 28 2020
A man bursts into his therapist's office and says, "Doc, you gotta help me. I keep dreaming I'm stuck inside a deck of cards!"
The therapist looked up from his paperwork and said, "I'm busy now. I'll deal with you later."
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︎ Nov 17 2020
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
π︎ 52
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︎ Aug 29 2020
I had a dream where I thought I was in a trigonometric function of an angle...
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︎ Sep 05 2020
Last night, I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. But it was just a
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︎ Sep 12 2020
I recently pursued my dream career of becoming a very successful plagiarizer.
I tried, but I didn't make it.
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︎ Oct 19 2020
Last night, I had a dream that I had discovered a new color.
But it just turned out to be a pigment of my imagination.
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︎ Aug 30 2020
I HAD A DREAM LAST NIGHT THAT I KNIGHTED AN ELECTRIC FISH.....
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︎ Jun 05 2020
I once had a dream about the future
There was milk in the fridge
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︎ Sep 15 2020
I went to the doctor, told him I keep having these dreams I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam. Teepee then a wigwam. What's wrong with me, I asked.
Oh, that's easy, said the doctor: you're two tents. (too tense)
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︎ Aug 01 2020
I keep having this dream about a horse in full battle armor.
Actually it's probably more of a knight mare.
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︎ Jun 19 2019
Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.
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︎ Dec 11 2020
Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.
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︎ Nov 11 2020
Today I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram
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︎ Nov 23 2020
I had a dream that I was a muffler last night
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︎ Dec 08 2020
I had a dream I was a muffler last night.
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︎ Nov 28 2020
Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.
π︎ 14
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︎ Nov 25 2020
Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.
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︎ Oct 24 2020
I had a strange dream last night that I was a muffler.
π︎ 7
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︎ Nov 17 2020
Dreamed I Was a Muffler Last Night
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︎ Nov 13 2020
Last night I had a dream that I ate a twenty pound marshmallow.
I woke up this morning and my pillow was gone.
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︎ Nov 18 2020
I had a dream that I was a muffler
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︎ Oct 02 2020
I had a dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow
When I woke up my pillow was gone
π︎ 7
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︎ Nov 02 2020
Had a dream that I was a tailpipe last night
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︎ Sep 01 2020
Dreamed I was a muffler last nightβ¦
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︎ Aug 12 2020
I had a dream that I was weightless
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︎ Jun 22 2020
I had a dream that I was a muffler...
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︎ Sep 10 2020
I had a dream last night that I was a muffler.
π︎ 7
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︎ Aug 17 2020
I had a dream I was swimming in a ocean of orange soda...
Turns out it was just a Fanta Sea.
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︎ Jul 01 2020
Had a dream I was a muffler...
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︎ Aug 22 2020
Last night I had a dream that I was a muffler
π︎ 14
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︎ Aug 09 2020
Last night I had a dream I was a car muffler
π︎ 8
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︎ Aug 19 2020
Dreamed I was a muffler last night...
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︎ Aug 24 2020
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
π︎ 6k
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︎ Aug 13 2019
I had a dream I was drowning in orange soda.
When I woke up I realized it was a Fanta sea.
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︎ Aug 13 2020
I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram....
π︎ 8
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︎ Jul 30 2020
A patient bursts into his therapist's office and shouts, "Doc, you gotta help me. I keep dreaming that I'm trapped in a deck of cards!"
The therapist turns from his current patient and says, "I'm busy now. I'll deal with you later."
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︎ Mar 09 2020
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