I 9 Puns

A list of puns related to "I 9"

I just got stabbed by 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9

The odds were against me!

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👤︎ u/DifferentOffice8
📅︎ May 19 2021
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I used to wonder why microsoft skipped windows 9

But I shouldn't be surprised.
After all, years back, Microsoft published ms-DOS without ever releasing an ms-UNO

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👤︎ u/berninicaco3
📅︎ May 02 2021
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I got into a fight with 1,3,5,7 and 9

The odds were against me.

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👤︎ u/kdsfrmbk
📅︎ Mar 06 2021
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I hate how funerals are always at 9 am.

I'm not really a mourning person.

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👤︎ u/_plc
📅︎ Mar 08 2021
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I quit, my 9 to 5
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👤︎ u/dickiedaydream
📅︎ Mar 04 2021
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I've just made a list of the top 10 dad jokes I know. The first 9 are alright but the last one is absoutely briliant.
  1. alright
  2. alright
  3. alright
  4. alright
  5. alright
  6. alright
  7. alright
  8. alright
  9. alright
  10. absoutely briliant
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👤︎ u/Skycam3014
📅︎ Jan 28 2021
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My girlfriend broke up with me when she found out I only have 9 toes

She was lack toes intolerant

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👤︎ u/ode_majka
📅︎ Oct 19 2020
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I was at a local store buying a shitty old CD for $9.95. When I handed the cashier my $10, he handed me my change and said:

"Here's your Nickleback."

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👤︎ u/Jessieface13
📅︎ Dec 17 2020
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10...9...My Dad was counting down. I asked why. 7...6... “Because it’ll be 12:57, he said.” 5...4... “What’s so special about 12:57?” I asked.

It’s Three To One.

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👤︎ u/I-think-Im-funny
📅︎ Apr 21 2020
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I once got into a bar fight with the number 1. His friends 3, 5, 7, and 9 showed up to help him.

The odds were against me.

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👤︎ u/nnishanth
📅︎ Aug 07 2020
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I was working my 9-5 at the paint supply warehouse, I just asked my boss for a raise

He handed me a ladder and asked if that was good enough

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👤︎ u/superto3
📅︎ Dec 27 2020
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My 9 month pregnant wife is ready to have our child any day now, but they just won’t come. She’s tried everything she can at this point. Sex, walking, dancing, spicy foods, etc... So when I asked her what I could do to help she said “any means necessary.”

To which I replied “No it doesn’t.”

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👤︎ u/FreshStartGo
📅︎ Sep 06 2020
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I drew a joke I saw on Reddit (Homophones #9) [OC] imgur.com/U7c4Hnx
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👤︎ u/sarahcominghome
📅︎ Jul 06 2020
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gud pun, I give it a 9/10.
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👤︎ u/BeanMan321
📅︎ Aug 24 2020
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Sry I dont answer my phone on 9/11 . . .

I keep it on airplane mode.

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👤︎ u/Useless-Chicken
📅︎ Sep 11 2020
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I just made a list of my top 10 favourite Dad jokes. The first 9 are great but the last one is an absolute cracker

  1. great

  2. great

  3. great

  4. great

  5. great

  6. great

  7. great

  8. great

  9. great

  10. An absolute cracker

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👤︎ u/dandan_56
📅︎ Oct 30 2019
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I got a 3.9 GPA at Trump University

in other words, I graduated MAGA cum laude

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👤︎ u/wxmatt
📅︎ Jul 25 2020
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I want to Express my daughter's age as a fraction 6/12, 9/12, 16/12 etc.. my wife is really upset about it.

In our house It's really causing some division

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👤︎ u/lornstar7
📅︎ Apr 22 2020
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I've been really keen on watching the SpaceX Falcon 9 rocket launches lately...

... Guess you could say that I've been watching them like a hawk!

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👤︎ u/space0watch
📅︎ Jun 04 2020
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I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9 /r/Jokes/comments/haoqkm/…
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👤︎ u/arunie
📅︎ Jun 17 2020
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Every day at 9 am I go my job at the watch factory

It's like clock work .

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👤︎ u/Johnny_Two_Timez
📅︎ Mar 08 2020
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I'm a single dad looking after two kids, a 9-year-old and a 5-year-old...

They're my 9 to 5.

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👤︎ u/dubaidadjokes
📅︎ May 10 2020
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I truly admire people who can hold 9 to 5 jobs

I can barely work 2 jobs at once myself

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👤︎ u/KuboS0S
📅︎ Apr 17 2020
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I heard my teenager mumbling in her sleep. She kept repeating, "1,3,5,7,9"

Literally she can't even.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Jun 05 2018
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9 yo daughter: "You know, dad; I think I have your sense of humour."

Me (rather pleased): "Really?" Her: "Yes. Would you like it back?"

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👤︎ u/Flayan514
📅︎ Feb 26 2016
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I spent $9.95 on a tin of holiday nuts. My wife thought that was too expensive.

I said, "$9.95? That's nut tin, honey."

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👤︎ u/stooftheoof
📅︎ Dec 21 2019
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I was in a terrible state when 9/11 happened.

I left Missouri as fast as I could.

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👤︎ u/PygmeePony
📅︎ Mar 04 2020
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So at dinner tonight, my 9 year old says,"I'd like to make a toast"

"Where's the bread?"

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👤︎ u/denzien
📅︎ Aug 07 2019
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I asked my son to take 9 from 8, to which he replied “minus one”, I said...

“Yours is one what?”

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👤︎ u/Lordbobson
📅︎ Nov 22 2018
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Every single time I wake up later than 9 A.M.

Dad: "He's alive!!"

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👤︎ u/BanjoStory
📅︎ Dec 26 2013
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I just bought a OnePlus 9

I would give the phone a solid 10.

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👤︎ u/MrEggsBenedicr
📅︎ Nov 18 2019
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I've heard a lot of people are excited for Fast 9. I can't wait for the next one.

Fast10: Your Seat Belts

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👤︎ u/rev_bignugget
📅︎ Jun 18 2019
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We attended my sister's boyfriend's funeral at 9 A.M. yesterday, but she didn't seem very upset and didn't cry at all. I asked her why and she said,

She's not really a mourning person.

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👤︎ u/LadySparta729
📅︎ Aug 08 2019
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I dont tell jokes about 9-11

cause they tend to crash and burn

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👤︎ u/iishimmeringz
📅︎ Feb 05 2019
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I have stopped making 9/11 jokes.

You see they have a tendency to crash and burn

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👤︎ u/darealbipbopbip
📅︎ Jun 03 2019
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My daughter finished telling me the “7 ate 9” joke and I said “You shouldn’t tell math jokes,”

”you’re greater than that.”

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👤︎ u/seaner7633
📅︎ May 25 2019
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I was attacked by 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9.

The odds were against me.

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👤︎ u/netflix_dweller
📅︎ Apr 12 2020
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My girlfriend broke up with me after she discovered I only have 9 toes

She was lack toes intolerant

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👤︎ u/baconlover09
📅︎ Oct 20 2020
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I hate how funerals are always at 9 or 10 am

I'm really not a mourning person.

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👤︎ u/akien0222
📅︎ Dec 12 2019
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I challenged number 1 to a fight, but he bought his friends 3, 5, 7, and 9

The odds were against me

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👤︎ u/fl1ppp3rs
📅︎ Aug 27 2019
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I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9.

The odds were against me.

Edit: Thanks so much!! This is my first award!

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👤︎ u/SwitchGuru
📅︎ Dec 24 2019
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I challenged the number 1 to a fight, but he brought his friends 3, 5, 7, and 9.

The odds were against me.

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👤︎ u/FinalCaveat
📅︎ Aug 27 2019
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I challenged the number 1 to a fight, but he brought his friends 3, 5, 7 and 9.

The odds were against me.

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👤︎ u/mefingers
📅︎ Aug 30 2019
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I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9.

The odds were against me.

👍︎ 2k
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👤︎ u/that_introverted_guy
📅︎ Oct 22 2016
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I have 10 jokes. The first 9 are great, but the last one's an absolute cracker
  1. Great
  2. Great
  3. Great
  4. Great
  5. Great
  6. Great
  7. Great
  8. Great
  9. Great
  10. An absolute cracker
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👤︎ u/IgnorableLetuce
📅︎ Nov 14 2019
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So, the other day I got into a fight with 1,3,5,7 and 9.

The odds were against me

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👤︎ u/pp0787
📅︎ Jun 17 2018
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