Why did the right angle feel hot outside?

Because it felt like 90Β°

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/raize308
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2021
🚨︎ report
When it's not raining, snowing or hot outside, what is it?

Icy how it is...

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thirteen_20
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
It's so hot outside that my cow started giving powdered milk

It's udderly terrible

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jurica1306
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Remember guys, the weather is hot outside so we shouldn’t be leaving our dogs in our cars

We don’t want hot dogs

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/eeeeeeeyore
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
🚨︎ report
It’s getting hot outside

Sorry guys, that was my warm up joke

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Suhspence
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Man is it hot outside! He must be toasted!
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NitroNihon
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2014
🚨︎ report
Its damn hot outside

Facebook Dad just dropped this on my feed (its pretty hot here in SoCal):

Q: How do you know it's hot? A: When two pigs are at the beach and one says to the other "I'm Bacon"

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrFranchise
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2014
🚨︎ report
On the eve of a record breaking cold winter night, a wife notices her husband run to the backyard with a bucket in his hand.

She grabs a cup of hot cocoa and watches through the window as he fills the bucket up with water and races from the back of the house all the way out to the front yard and out of sight. She bundles up and goes outside to get a closer look and sees that he’s cleared the snow from the sidewalk. She watches as he takes his bucket of water and pours it out on the cold concrete. She’s puzzled for a second and then says:

Icy, what you did there.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NotMetheThree
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I dare you to read this

What tree do you wipe your hands on? A palm tree!

I heard a scary math joke, but I’m 2^^2 to tell it!

Have you heard of that new movie, β€œConstipation”? Well it doesn’t matter, it never came out.

I hurt myself when I went to a theme park in florida. When I went to the doctor, he started wrapping up my left leg, but then I pointed at my right and said β€œNo, doc, it’s dis knee.”

Last night I got mugged by 6 dwarves. Not Happy.

When Queen Elizabeth farts, everyone in the room must pretend like nothing happened. Noble Gasses don’t cause reactions, after all.

What’s the difference between a seal and a sea lion? One electron.

What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises? It becomes Daytrogen!

I called the animal shelter today and said "I've found six kittens in a suitcase in the woods." They said "Are they moving?" I replied "I don't know, but that would explain the suitcase."

Why can’t you trust Atoms? Because they make up everything!

Why do nerds wear glasses? It helps with division.

Why should you tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? You don’t wanna wake the sleeping pills.

What twitches and is found at the bottom of the ocean? A nervous wreck!

What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller!

What do you call a 3 foot tall psychic on the run from the law? A small medium at large!

Help, I can’t stop reading books with female protagonists! I’m a heroine addict!

How did Sparticus react when he ate his wife for dinner? He was gladiator!

When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punchline becomes apparent!

19 and 20 got into a fight… 21.

My friend told me, β€œPeople who sell meat are disgusting!” So I said, β€œYeah, well people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer!”

How can turtles take photos of themselves? Shell-fie sticks!

What do you call a secret agent molecule? Bond… ionic bond. β€œTaken, not shared.” What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? (Cut this part, but make a screeching noise)

How much does Santa’s sleigh cost? $0, it’s on the house.

If America switched from pounds to kilograms overnight there would be mass confusion.

I had a splinter once; it eventually got out of hand.

I’m going to go stand outside. If anyone asks, I’m outstanding.

Most people are shocked to find out how terrible an electrician I am!

What do mermaids wash their fins with? Tide What’s the coolest place to use the bathroom? The Lil Jon

Did you know that on average, people want three covers on their bed at all times? But that’s just a blanket statem

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kinjago
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Too hot

This happened with my 3 years old son yesterday Son: let’s go outside Me: it’s too hot outside Son: no, it’s 10 hot

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/blue_everest
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Me fiance told me the commercial for 'Snowden' was on the TV

Her: Hey it's Snowden!

Me: That's impossible. It's hot outside!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tamumike3
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2016
🚨︎ report
Got my own dad yesterday during fireworks

My dad, my brothers, and I have been at our family farm (we don't live there) for the weekend of the 4th. Last night we were outside shooting off fireworks, as any real American does on the 4th. About 50 feet in front of the house is a 4 foot high fence. My dad discovered that one of the cracker launchers we had fit perfectly in the upper part to launch the crackers into the air at an angle. Always the cautious one of the bunch, I responded to his idea:

"I dunno dad, I'm on the fence about this one."

Naturally, my brothers congratulated me on how lame my jokes were and told me to go inside and make more hot dogs.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/degco44
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2015
🚨︎ report
WiFi hotspot

My friend, his father, and I were all outside of their house, and I was trying to browse reddit. Reddit was being slow, so I said: "The WiFi sucks out here" In which case, my friend responded with: "Yeah, I need to get an outdoors hotspot" To which his father replied: "It was pretty hot outside today"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/laketri
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.