Hms Gurkha Puns

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tribal-class_destroyer_%281936%29

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HMS_Punjabi

> #STOICS Operation: Leviathan
##Objective (primary): Evacuation of UKOBI civilians
###Objective (secondary): Security of Sovereign Base Areas
##Allied Response Military Authority Status: Granted
Let justice be done though the heavens fall.

The EU-Greek invasion of Northern Cyprus (involving 31,000 soldiers and 100 tanks) has begun against one of the most militarized areas on earth, with as many as 30,000 Turkish soldiers garrisoned on the island. As part of British Forces Cyprus, there are currently 7,388 Irish civilians (including 360 civilians directly supporting the Service presence and their 7,028 dependants). They are now firmly between the crosshairs of two warring powers, and their safety is no longer guaranteed, particularly in the wake of Turkish reprisals. In addition to preventing spillover of further violence across the Island, these civilians must be evacuated to Greater Éire until further notice, in what is the STOICS equivalent of the Berlin Airlift.

Escalation of the war (and attempts by outside powers to bomb Warsaw) have effectively closed off Eastern Bloc Airspace (tempting a missile from Kaliningrad is not really to one’s taste). That said, the recent partnership with Siberica offers an excellent opportunity to get our civilians out and replace them with proper defenders, CRBND equipment and all.

Gibraltar International Airport will serve as a layover point to establish a pair of rotating aerial carousels between the Irish-Nordic Commonwealth

Sir Robert Black had been the Governor of Hong Kong for less than a year-- he had arrived in January of 1958, and now in October there was this massive outbreak of violence. Government House buzzed with activity as the new Governor set about righting the situation in the colony. British Army soldiers guarded the building at all hours, a full platoon of them.

First order of business was to right the situation with the police. The Army had arrested the Third Deputy Chief of the Royal Hong Kong Police Force, who now languished in prison in the military base, kept well away from the RHKPF and other potentially compromised officers. Governor Black called for representatives of the intelligence services based in Hong Kong and set the Security Service to the task of combing the RHKPF and delivering lists of officers potentially compromised by the Maoists. GCHQ’s men were set to monitoring communications between Hong Kong and the mainland, seeking to establish evidence that Beijing was pulling strings behind the police. Governor Blacks summoned the Commissioner of the RHKPF, Arthur Crawford Maxwell, and informed him that the screening process for officers joining his service would have to be far more stringent, and present officers must be open to scrutiny.

With the police sorted, next came the issue of the rioters’ support coming from the mainland. The Royal Navy attaché in Hong Kong next arrived at Government House, escorted to the busy office. He reported that the Royal Navy had already organized a flotilla of frigates, lead by the Type-15 HMS Relentless and joined by HMS Rocket and the Type-16 frigate HMS Orwell. The Navy ships were coming up from the UK, due to arrive in a couple days’ time. In the mean time, the Bay-class frigates HMS Cardigan Bay and HMS Mount’s Bay would be detached from the Far East Fleet in Singapore and sent to Hong Kong to assist in the patrols until the three frigates from Britain arrived. The Royal Navy’s present assets were conducting harbor patrols and stopping and searching all ships seeking to come to Hong Kong. Ships making port without first encountering the Royal Navy would be searched where they landed by the Army. They would be assisted by the Royal Marines.

As the Royal Navy officer departed, he was passed by an incoming knot of British Army officers. They shortly arrived at the office to meet the Governor. The Army had restored order on much of the island. A permanent presence at RAF Kai Tak would prevent

March 1957

Scientific Research & Technological Advances

1. Technology has been moving forward in leaps and bounds over the last decade. Weapons are going from brand new to obsolete within a matter of years. Military planning must become flexible in order to keep up with innovations in technology, requiring a comprehensive rethink of military policy.

2. Innovation should be focused on key sectors of the military, with emphasis on the defence of the British nuclear deterrent, extending the capabilities of Britain’s nuclear deterrent, and improving the effectiveness of infantry on the battlefield.

3. With the advance of military technology. Commonwealth co-operation on the research & development of new technologies is of growing importance. Great Britain already works strongly with Australia, and should rebuild this relationship with Canada and other commonwealth nations.

Great Britain’s Responsibilities

4. Great Britain must undertake a responsibility to deter and resist any aggression across the globe that may threaten regional or global peace.

5. Britain’s Armed Forces must be willing & capable of defending British Colonies and protected territories against local attack by any reasonable means necessary.

6. The global trend is towards the creation of integrated allied forces. Britain should begin talks with the United States to strengthen their mutual relations to levels matching or exceeding those seen during the second world war.

Nuclear Deterrent

7. Whilst strong consideration must be made to prevent war, consideration must also be made in preparing for a nuclear war and its aftermath, in both the short term, and the long term. Serious talks concerning both the Nuclear Deterrent and its defense must be at the forefront of British military planning in the years ahead.

8. The British Government should begin studying the costs & logistics of establishing an urban missile bunker program to protect a select number of civilians in the event of a nuclear attack, based on the presumption that nuclear attacks would likely be focused on London and other major cities.

9. At present, Britain’s nuclear deterrent is based around the V Bomber program, consisting of three advanced bomber designs rivaling any contemporary designs from other nations. Within the next decade, it will be supplemented by domestically produced ballistic missiles which are currently undergoing development.

10. In light of the potent

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

You take away their little brooms

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Him: I can explain everything!

(It's his best joke yet I think)

Nothing, it just waved