Every morning when I leave the house for work, I get hit by the same bike. Every morning!
Why do crows get hit by trucks more often than cars?
Cuz they can warn their buddies about ‘cah’s, but not trucks.
Yesterday I got hit by a can.
Thank god! Nothing happened because it was a soft drink.
Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasant’s head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Duke’s son and knocked him off the battle field.
Yeah, apparently it was the first ever serf face to heir missile.
Willie Nelson got hit by a car
He was playing on the road again
I got hit in the head by a can of Coke today.
I'm okay, it was a soft drink.
I was hit by a bottle of Omega-3 capsules
Luckily, I only suffered super fish oil injuries
There was a recent study showing that crows were hit a lot more by trucks than cars...
they came to the conclusion that this was because crows can warn each other by going "CAAAR CAAAR" but can't say "TRUCK TRUCK"
My neighbor got hit by a rental car.
These comments where from a clip where someone cleaning at a foreign range almost gets hit by a stray bullet
*Black gets hit by the Killing Curse*
Black: Harry, I’m dead.
Harry: Are you serious?
Black: Yes, I’m dead Sirius.
A carrot and his wife are walking home from a party late at night and he gets hit by a car.
Mrs. Carrot takes him to the ER and after a day of surgery, the doctor steps out and says, "Mrs. Carrot, I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is, we saved your husband. The bad news is, he's going to be a vegetable the rest of his life."
What does it feel like to get hit by a wave frequency?
I was hit by some coca cola today...
...it didn't hurt because it was a soft drink.
Today was a terrible day. First my ex got hit by a bus.
Then I lost my job as a driver.
You've been hit by, you've been struck by, A . . .
You've been hit by, you've been struck by a....
My friend was hit by a car shortly after throwing coins in a wishing well
I thought “well that’s unfortunate”
Did you hear about the boarding house that was hit by a tornado?
I didn't appreciate reincarnation until I got hit by that truck...
And woke up feeling like a whole new man
When the AC circuits in your home are hit by a DC lightning bolt..
The local mosque got hit by coronavirus.
Cop: "I'm sorry to say this sir, but it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck."
Dad: "Yeah, but she has a great personality."
My jackass husband just hit me with this one. Pretend you are on a boat surrounded by sharks. How do you survive?
Recently I took my family on a road trip, and we got a flat tire. When my daughter got out of the car to help, she almost got hit by a car.
Good thing she wasn't, that trip would've been short-lived.
I asked my friend if he would rather be hit in the genitals really hard, driven over a cliff and smacked in the face by a lesbian OR watch his favourite late night host. “That’s easy”, he replied...
I saw a cyclist riding close to a steep cliff. He hit some gravel and veered away from the road toward the precipice. At the last minute he saved himself by jumping from his bike.
For a moment, I thought he was gone with the Schwinn.
My friend tried to ride his horse from Maine to the Southwestern United States for a type of bean but was hit by an older Ford...
The first thing I’ll say if Captain James Hook ever get hit by a truck is
“You ain’t seeing half of the insurance money”
Why did the chicken get hit by a truck?
Cuz odds are that's what will happen when you keep crossing the damn road.
I got hit by a rickshaw while crossing the road today
Did you hear about the blind guy who got hit by a train?
I just came back from my coworker’s funeral, who died when he was hit on the head by a tennis ball.
I was hit in the face by a Snowball...
Everyone is so surprised after getting hit by a calculator...
... I guess they weren't counting on it
My geometry class got hit by a tornado today.
All that's left is wrecked angles.
I got a call at work the other day from a doctor at the hospital. He says "I have some bad news... It looks like your wife has been hit by a bus."
I said "But she has a great personality."
Every morning on the way to work, I get hit by the same bike. Every morning!
Every morning I leave my house and get hit by a bicycle,
Today I got hit in the head by a can of soda.
Luckily it was a soft drink.
My father just got hit by a rental car
I got hit in the head by a soda can the other day...
Luckily, it was a soft drink!
Every single morning I get hit by the same bike...
The doctor said that it looks like my wife got hit by a truck
She has a great personality though
A woman got hit in the head by a can of soda
Thank goodness it was a soft drink
Just been to the funeral of a close friend who died when he was hit in the head by a tennis ball
Officer: “I’m sorry to say this sir, but it looks like your girlfriend’s been hit by a truck”
Man: “Yeah, but she’s got a great personality”
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