Every morning when I leave the house for work, I get hit by the same bike. Every morning!

What a vicious cycle.

πŸ‘︎ 244
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KarateKid84Fan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2021
🚨︎ report
Why do crows get hit by trucks more often than cars?

Cuz they can warn their buddies about β€˜cah’s, but not trucks.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/No_Ad9759
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Yesterday I got hit by a can.

Thank god! Nothing happened because it was a soft drink.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/haseebshaik00
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasant’s head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Duke’s son and knocked him off the battle field.

Yeah, apparently it was the first ever serf face to heir missile.

πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
🚨︎ report
Willie Nelson got hit by a car

He was playing on the road again

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BiWhiteNibba
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
🚨︎ report
I got hit in the head by a can of Coke today.

I'm okay, it was a soft drink.

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Spicoli0525
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I was hit by a bottle of Omega-3 capsules

Luckily, I only suffered super fish oil injuries

πŸ‘︎ 71
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoshPlaysUltimate
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
There was a recent study showing that crows were hit a lot more by trucks than cars...

they came to the conclusion that this was because crows can warn each other by going "CAAAR CAAAR" but can't say "TRUCK TRUCK"

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
My neighbor got hit by a rental car.

He said it Hertz.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FlintTheDad
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
These comments where from a clip where someone cleaning at a foreign range almost gets hit by a stray bullet
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PbyFortress
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
*Black gets hit by the Killing Curse*

Black: Harry, I’m dead.

Harry: Are you serious?

Black: Yes, I’m dead Sirius.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
A carrot and his wife are walking home from a party late at night and he gets hit by a car.

Mrs. Carrot takes him to the ER and after a day of surgery, the doctor steps out and says, "Mrs. Carrot, I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is, we saved your husband. The bad news is, he's going to be a vegetable the rest of his life."

πŸ‘︎ 130
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LargeBigHuge
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What does it feel like to get hit by a wave frequency?

It hertz

πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ShinyBoiTB
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I was hit by some coca cola today...

...it didn't hurt because it was a soft drink.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lazy-Potat
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Today was a terrible day. First my ex got hit by a bus.

Then I lost my job as a driver.

πŸ‘︎ 786
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
🚨︎ report
You've been hit by, you've been struck by, A . . .
πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sanitizem8
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
🚨︎ report
You've been hit by, you've been struck by a....
πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mickeyslim
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend was hit by a car shortly after throwing coins in a wishing well

I thought β€œwell that’s unfortunate”

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tweakedrex
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the boarding house that was hit by a tornado?

Roomers were flying.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/emjay144
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I didn't appreciate reincarnation until I got hit by that truck...

And woke up feeling like a whole new man

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jmarr1203
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
When the AC circuits in your home are hit by a DC lightning bolt..

It's a current affair.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/reachingnexus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
🚨︎ report
The local mosque got hit by coronavirus.

They're under Qurantine.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jeromocles
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Cop: "I'm sorry to say this sir, but it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck."

Dad: "Yeah, but she has a great personality."

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RudigherJones
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2018
🚨︎ report
My jackass husband just hit me with this one. Pretend you are on a boat surrounded by sharks. How do you survive?

You stop pretending.

πŸ‘︎ 207
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thehornyghost
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Recently I took my family on a road trip, and we got a flat tire. When my daughter got out of the car to help, she almost got hit by a car.

Good thing she wasn't, that trip would've been short-lived.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SPONGEROBERT123
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked my friend if he would rather be hit in the genitals really hard, driven over a cliff and smacked in the face by a lesbian OR watch his favourite late night host. β€œThat’s easy”, he replied...

Dick Van Dyke

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thrillho333
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw a cyclist riding close to a steep cliff. He hit some gravel and veered away from the road toward the precipice. At the last minute he saved himself by jumping from his bike.

For a moment, I thought he was gone with the Schwinn.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend tried to ride his horse from Maine to the Southwestern United States for a type of bean but was hit by an older Ford...

It was a pinto.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
🚨︎ report
The first thing I’ll say if Captain James Hook ever get hit by a truck is

β€œYou ain’t seeing half of the insurance money”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Wu-Chinese
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the chicken get hit by a truck?

Cuz odds are that's what will happen when you keep crossing the damn road.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gwailo27
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I got hit by a rickshaw while crossing the road today

I was rickrolled

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KVN_47
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the blind guy who got hit by a train?

He never saw it coming.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/scardeal
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I just came back from my coworker’s funeral, who died when he was hit on the head by a tennis ball.

It was a lovely service.

πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I was hit in the face by a Snowball...

I was Knocked out cold.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SonEf_Adam
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Everyone is so surprised after getting hit by a calculator...

... I guess they weren't counting on it

πŸ‘︎ 315
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hot-d0g-Water
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2018
🚨︎ report
My geometry class got hit by a tornado today.

All that's left is wrecked angles.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bananapotato12
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I got a call at work the other day from a doctor at the hospital. He says "I have some bad news... It looks like your wife has been hit by a bus."

I said "But she has a great personality."

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Picker-Rick
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Every morning on the way to work, I get hit by the same bike. Every morning!

What a vicious cycle.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OliPark
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Every morning I leave my house and get hit by a bicycle,

It’s a vicious cycle.

πŸ‘︎ 103
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/matthewjhendrick
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2021
🚨︎ report
Today I got hit in the head by a can of soda.

Luckily it was a soft drink.

πŸ‘︎ 83
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ExcitingFail
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My father just got hit by a rental car

Said everything Hertz

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/weiderman316
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I got hit in the head by a soda can the other day...

Luckily, it was a soft drink!

πŸ‘︎ 90
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Squidboy2002
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Every single morning I get hit by the same bike...

It's a vicious cycle

πŸ‘︎ 319
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kameshkii
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2018
🚨︎ report
The doctor said that it looks like my wife got hit by a truck

She has a great personality though

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/oleolesp
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
🚨︎ report
A woman got hit in the head by a can of soda

Thank goodness it was a soft drink

πŸ‘︎ 317
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mad2swim
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Just been to the funeral of a close friend who died when he was hit in the head by a tennis ball

Great service

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jarvo1992
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Officer: β€œI’m sorry to say this sir, but it looks like your girlfriend’s been hit by a truck”

Man: β€œYeah, but she’s got a great personality”

πŸ‘︎ 169
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.