A drunk wakes up in jail, "Why am I here officer?"
"For drinking." replies the cop.
"Great" says the man. "When do we start?"
What the hell am I dough-in’ here? I donut belong here
Would better fit here, original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/kq35tq/shitpost_because_its_3_am_and_i_should_be_sleeping/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Would better fit here, [original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/kq35tq/shitpost_because_its_3_am_and_i_should_be_sleeping/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
My 6 year old daughter set up a party and led me to the registration sheet. It said "Sine here". Now I am wondering if there is another sheet that says "Cosine there".
Sorry for going on a tangent
I think this belongs here, so does u/i_am_a_pathetic
So no shit here I am
This just happened to me lmao. I'm here with my wife and 5 y/o daughter about to sit down and eat.
Daughter: what movie are we going to watch. (We mentioned maybe watching one earlier) Me: it's this new cartoon movie called nunya
Literally 1 second later Daughter: nunya business.... Me: DDAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGG
What an awesome feeling lol
I am sure someone has posted this one before, but, since I haven’t seen it, here goes! What did the wood screw say to the machine screw?
Wow! Those are some fine lookin’ threads, brotha!
Just happened a few minutes ago. Whilst wrapping an easel for our daughter my better half said "how am I going to wrap this?" I replied "Easely". Not even a smile :( wasted talent here.
Here’s an original one I just came up with just now while watching the Behind the Curve flat earth conspiracy documentary on Netflix. It made me realize that I am a flat eyeball conspiracist.
They’re just optical illusions.
I've been watching giofilms and I found this so here I am
Can I post here if i need help coming up with a pun? I’m a high school teacher and am implementing a “phone hotel”. I wanted to name it something clever. Like a name that sounds similar to a real hotel or even name it “Phone Hotel” with a clever slogan. Any ideas?
I grew out my beard in November. Here I am about to shave it off but...
...It grew on me.
Some people will post anything on Reddit. I am one of them. Here goes:
Anything
Sister: Why the hell am I still down here?
Me: That's how gravity works.
If i post something here and nobody likes it am i a karma chameleon?
Hey, am I violating the rules by posting here?
I'm only a Step-Dad.
I am here because I tried to post a lame word play joke in r/jokes, but it was removed
So you might say I was PUNished...
Is it just me or am I alone here?
