Hell And Silence Puns

Maddie wanted the kids meal with a leg so I said “Kids meal with the leg” and the lady says “Which side?”

Me- *complete silence as I heavily contemplate such an odd decision*

“I guess the right side, hell I don’t know what the difference is.”

After several moments of laughter she says “No hunny which side would you like to go with the leg? Potatoes or fries?”

To annoy a female housemate we were flicking bits of sweetcorn at her hair. In response, she escalated the game and threw an orange into my face.

The only way i got through the ordeal was because of what another of my housemates said next. After a long silence, as im holding my face he says "..hell hath no fury like a woman corned".

My sister was telling me about she met her boyfriend on Tinder (I haven't met him yet). I told her it was a good thing she wasn't Dora the Explorer. After a beat where she gave me a confused look, I explained. If she was Dora, she never would have been able to swipe right.

I was answered with silence and an eye roll that suggested I was going to hell. I only grinned and basked in her hate.

We were talking about a mutual friend recovering from cancer:

Wife: .. and her tumor shrunk at least 50% now.

Me: (almost instantly) So it's a onemor now? Good for her!

Wife: (Silence then a groan)

..I think I'm going to hell for that one.

EDIT: grammar thanks jonty57