Harelip Puns

Mark

Before I get whooshed: Mark Mark Mark instead of bark bark bark

There was a guy with a wooden eye so he didn't have a lot of confidence. So he was too nervous to ask women out. One day his friend introduced him to a woman with a hair lip, so he decided to ask her out. She responded, "Would I? Would i?" So he replied, "Hair lip! Hair lip!"

Anyone: "I'm gonna run to the store, do you want anything?" Dad: "Wouldn't it be faster if you took the car?"

Anyone: "...it was sent U.P.S." Dad: "you mean Oops? (ups)"

Anyone: "....would I!?" Dad: "Harelip!"

Anyone: "is it okay if I smoke?" Dad: "why?, are you on fire?"

Anyone: "I think I've got something in my eye" Dad: "It's your finger"

Anyone: "Did you rotate the tires?" Dad: "Nah, they spin when I'm driving"

Anyone: (anything that even nearly rhymes with "badges", ie, "matches") Dad: "Matches? We don need no stinkeen matches!"

Anyone: "Where are you at?" Dad: "I'm right here. Where are you at?"