Hanna Diyab Puns

Do your worst!

It really does, I swear!

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

They’re on standbi

Buenosdillas

Pilot on me!!

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

Every year millions of books are published, I am here to bring you my favorite new books, new is a relative term, for this I will be looking at books published in 2020 and 2021, I am also including translations of old books, released in said years. I shall also include scores and the original language if it’s a translation. Key Works shall be marked with stars ***, read these, if nothing else.

Let’s get into the books (also I apologize for the lack of accents, I am writing on a phone):

Fiction:

Public Reading Followed by Discussion by Danielle Memoire — French, 4/5

Antiquities by Cynthia Ozick — 5/5 ***

Chasing the Dream by Liane de Pougy — French, 4/5

Nives by Sacha Naspini — Italian, 4/5

The Critical Case of a Man Called K by Aziz Mohammed — Arabic, 4/5

Among the Hedges by Sara Mesa — Spanish, 5/5

To the Warm Horizon by Choi Jin-young — Korean, 5/5

The Disappearance of Jim Sullivan by Tanguy Viel — French, 4/5

Mrs. Murakami’s Garden by Mario Bellatin — Spanish, 4/5

The Woman in the Purple Skirt by Imamura Natsuko — Japanese, 4/5

Sevastopol by Emilio Fraia — Portuguese, 4/5

Heaven by Kawakami Mieko — Japanese, 5/5

The Membranes by Chi Ta-wei — Chinese, 5/5 ***

The Netanyahus by Joshua Cohen — 5/5 ***

Solo Viola by Antoine Volodine — French, 5/5

Le Fanu’s Angel by Brian Keogh — 5/5

Satyricon by Petronius — Latin, 5/5

Non-fiction:

Life After Gravity by Patricia Fara — 4/5

King Kong Theory by Virginie Despentes — French, 5/5 ***

Journey to the Edge of Reason by Stephen Budiansky — 4/5

The Book of Travels by Hanna Diyab — Arabic, 5/5

Love and Sex in the Time of Plague by Guido Ruggerio — 4/5

Poetry:

Allegria by Giuseppe Ungaretti — Italian, 5/5

You take away their little brooms

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

[Removed]

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved

Bob

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.

Just to clarify, 12345678

Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...

Notices there's only 2;

Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."

I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.

I was just sitting there doing nothing.

“BOOM”?!

free

"That's what they're fighting about."

Because his Visa didn’t work.

Because the audience only responds in a low ha