Halloween Party Food Puns

I will now take suggestions on how to be more sensitive to deaf people. I'm all ears!

1. As a ventroliquist, I made one of my dummies sing a song by the GoGos. I'm not going to tell you how I did it. My lips are sealed!
2. Im the only council member against the construction of the beach. Im going against the grain!
3. Why did God make me a conjoined twin? Im beside myself!
4. I put aluminum on a villain's mind control devices. I foiled his plan!
5. Even though I'm scared of heights, I still go skydiving with this girl I like. Im falling for her!
6. My shoelace company collapsed. I couldn't make ends meet!
7. I like using misdirection in my jokes to make people laugh. Or do I?
8. I won my 17th straight Halloween costume contest dressed as a hotdog. I'm on a roll!
9. I won my 17th straight Halloween costume contest dressed as a nerd. I'm honor roll!
10. The answer to this question, "Who's the president of the United States?" is a no-brainer.
11. I finished a race the other day. I won 'cause I killed all the Kenyans!
12. I don't know how to wear a wig. At least not off the top of my head.
13. I went grocery shopping at Harris Teeter for a 50% off everything sale. I went in for a carrot and came out with a half, which is why I now shop at Whole Foods!
14. If youre being attacked by zombies, just throw a party! Nobody wants to kill the life of the party!
15. I used to date a girl, who still uses a nightlight. What a turn-off!

Why couldn’t the witch have children? Her husband had a hallow weenie.

---

Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man!

---

Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween? Me: Drunk!

---

For Halloween I’m going to write “Life” on a plain white T-shirt and hand out lemons to strangers

---

This Halloween, the only Candy I’m interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues

---

“Halloween” = an excuse for girls to dress up like sluts.

---

Thank goodness for Halloween, all of a sudden, cobwebs in my house are decorations!

---

I’ll be your trick if you’ll be my treat.

---

How do Rednecks celebrate Halloween? Pump kin!

---

When do ghouls and goblins cook their victims? On Fry Day

---

What’s a monsters favorite desert? I-Scream!

---

What do you call a Halloween boner? Petrified wood

---

What do you call a dancing ghost? Polka-haunt-us

---

What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A “hollow-weenie!”

---

Did you hear about the wild party at the haunted house? The whole vibe was anything ghost (goes).

---

How do you write a book about halloween? With a ghostwriter.

---

---

I’m going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always do… by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake. Sincerely,

---

Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, “A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?” The other monster replied, “Be a gentleman and roll them back to her.

---

The lesson of Halloween is that pretending to be something you’re not will lead to a sweet reward.

---

I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it’s Election night.

---

I want to be something really scary for Halloween this year so I’m dressing up as a phone battery at 2%.

---

Why dident the skeleten go to the halloween party? Becuse he had no body to go with.

---

What did the bird say on Halloween? Trick or tweet!

---

What do Italian’s eat on Halloween? Fettucinni Afraid-o (Ha ha ha)

---

Why can’t the boy ghost have babies? A. Because he has a Hallo-weenie.

---

What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween? A. Ghoul-aid!!!

---

What do ghosts eat for supper? Spooketi

---

What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? Hope it’s Halloween!!

---

What is the most important subject a witch learns in school? Spelling.

... keep reading on reddit ➡