She had a great time, but I was stuck on the toilet the whole night.
For the boos.
He couldn't handle his boo's!
I lost count
He didn’t have anybody to dance with.
They’re named DaFunkt.
He says "well you see I am a snail" and pointing to his wife he says "and this is Michelle"
I didn't win but at least i could hold my head high.
Worse than the costume idea was the frequent wardrobe malfunctions that came about throughout the evening. Luckily for everyone the couple would manage to get a hold of the situation before things slipped down too far. Though unluckily for everyone, the guy would always end this awkward real-life recurring slapstick segment with the even more awkward dad joke: "what a releaf".
Because they suck.
A cereal killer.
He's OK now, but he made some funny faces and gagging noises while working it out. A few people were disgusted by the sounds, but a few of the kids were laughing at grandpa dancing around making funny noises.
That's just how it is with dad chokes: some people laugh and some people groan.
It was lit!...which totally defeated the purpose.
We got lit last night!
But, I think everyone would come as surgeons.
This is the part that may need work...
"What on earth are you supposed to be?" "I'm a spy" "A spy?. What kinda of spy wears a pie costume and carries a crook?"
A shepherds spy.
I know, I know, that was Terryble
They were all ear-regular.
Her response: Sorry, I was getting dressed.
To brighten things up a bit, I'll be going as The Sun.
The previous weekend my college age daughter told me she had slept in her car after a party.
This weekend:
Me (dad): so did you sleep in your car again?
College age daughter: No, we were a lot more comfortable than that. We slept indoors.
Me: Seems like a door would be a lot less comfortable than a car!
...the host said where's your costume? The guy said I'm wearing a costume - I'm a snail. The host said you're a snail? The guy said yes, a snail, and pointed to his girlfriend and said this is Michelle.
Her costume was really squarey
I gently told him "No" at least 6 times, and finally we were at the register. My wife was checking us out, and he asks again.
Me: "Son, if you ask for one more piece of candy, I'm going to go back in time and take away the candy you had yesterday."
He stopped asking.
My oldest son looks at me defiantly and says, "Okay, do it to me!"
{ thinks for a second }
Me: "Fine. Do you remember that Snickers bar you had yesterday?"
Oldest looks confused and says, "What?? I didn't have a Snickers bar yesterday!"
Me: "Exactly."
I pat him on the back as he processes, and we exit the store.
No one. He had no body to dance with.
I am planning to be subtle .
He had no morrels.
I was hoping the costume would have a more Commie-dick effect.
He was the real wet blanket of the party.
Anywhere that they can get sheet faced.
Every single time he saw him he yelled out "FOUND HIM!"
We have a minifridge we stocked with beer for the party, and I put a sign on the fridge that says "BOO-ze"
My roommate just shook his head and walked away.
That I lost count
He had no body to go with.
He didn't have the guts to go.
It had no body to dance with!
He had nobody to go with.
