Half baked advice
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/cjparrish3000
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 26 2020
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half-baked pastry puns

Coming up with pastry puns is easy as pie. Seriously, it's a cakewalk. Carrots and nuts can loaf around but figs are barred. I'm on a roll here, but I gotta stop, turnover a new leaf. One cannoli hope. Scone be pretty hard, dough.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/SumGai984
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 20 2015
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I was going to make a bread joke instead of a cake day joke...

On reflection though, I donโ€™t knead to as it would be seedy, half baked, would get me rolled, wouldnโ€™t involve me using my loaf and would leave me open to all sort of bread based buns...

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 14
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Hideandsheep
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 07 2020
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Obituary for the Pillsbury Dough Boy, Pop N Fresh

The Pillsbury Doughboy, remembered best as "Pop N Serve", and/or "Pop N Fresh", died yesterday of a severe yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy will be buried in this lightly greased coffin.

Dozens of celebrities will turn out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.

The grave site is expected to be piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima will deliver the eulogy and lovingly describe Doughboy as "a man who never knew how much he was kneaded".

Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers.. He was considered a very smart cookie, but wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes.

Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop tart.

The funeral will be held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Eyes_and_teeth
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 18 2020
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Selling bread that isnโ€™t fully cooked

Is a half baked idea that really took off.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Dyspaereunia
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 09 2020
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The only downside to the new smart toaster I got for Christmas?

All the pop-up ads.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/andybader
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 06 2020
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Have you all heard about the top secret bakery?

I didn't think so, it is on a knead to dough basis.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 5k
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/BLJ2273
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 24 2017
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Got my wife while making dinner

She asked me to place some aluminum foil on some cookie sheets so I did. Then I threw my hands in the air and said:

My pans have been foiled.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2k
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/mrmeanmustid
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 14 2016
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I don't get why people are excited about Pi Day...

It's completely irrational!

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 19
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/patentpunk
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 14 2019
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Carol wanted to make some cash so she tried to sell cookies, but they werenโ€™t even cooked all the way...

What a half-baked attempt at making dough.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/UrAHarryWizard7
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 12 2019
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Why can't the pillsbury doughboy win a debate?

His arguments are half-baked.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/mrhouse1101
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 05 2019
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I had an idea to make some dough

But it was only half baked

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/The_Dets
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 29 2019
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A local baker decided he could increase production and profits by putting bread in the oven for half the usual time.

His half-baked scheme didn't work out the way he had planned.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Vandorbelt
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 17 2017
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A guy at the poker table was complaining about a sore throat and a couple minutes later says โ€œ I hope thereโ€™s Halls back at the hotelโ€.

Me being half baked asked how else would he get to his room?

Awkward silence for about 5 seconds then the dealer starts laughing and then everyone else. I got complimented on my dad joke.

Iโ€™m not dad, Iโ€™m just baked.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Craigrets
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 01 2019
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How do you feel after you eat pot brownies that arenโ€™t quite done?

Half baked.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/flumanchu
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 15 2018
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bakery pun thread

I went to work at the bakery half baked and my boss said that he kneaded me to rise to my potential. I said, 'well sir, I only ever see you loafing around."

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/crayolalightblue
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 23 2012
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Help on monkey/wedding themed puns?

Based on a half-baked "hope you never split" joke, my husband decided to buy this blank monkey-themed card to go along with a wedding present, and now I've been tasked with writing the content. Any suggestions?

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/SnowdenOfYesterweek
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 03 2017
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What do you call a stoner that is full of himself.

A crock pot. He's always at least half baked.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/marcuccione
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 24 2017
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Many groans were made after this one

My brother bought a half baked pizza to bring home. When he told us, my dad's response was, "Which half is baked?"

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/mickydd15
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 09 2013
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My grandpa in the line of Furr's

Grandpa: Yes ma'am I'd like the baked fish please Server: trying to scoop up fish but keeps dropping it Grandpa: The fish just aren't biting today are they! Server: fish breaks in half this time when she drops it Grandpa: Guess we'll have to throw that one back!

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 13
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/jacobjrr
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 30 2013
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Dough Boy

Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died Wednesday of a severe yeast infection. He was 71. He was buried Friday in one of the biggest funerals in years. Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, and the Hostess Twinkies. The graveside was piled high with flours, as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never knew he was kneaded". Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a smart cookie, and wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model to millions. Fresh is survived by his second wife. They had two children, and one in the oven. The funeral was at 3:50 for 20 minutes.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 12
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/natesplace19010
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 06 2016
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