A list of puns related to "H Store"
He went on a 'rhoid rage.
So I'm asking my coworker to prom tomorrow, we both work at a grocery store (she's a cashier and I'm her bagger), all I can think of for a sign right now is something along the lines of "bagging a prom date". Can anyone think of any better grocery store puns for an ask?
My dad passed away about 3 years ago. Now that I am a dad as well I thought I would pass on his favorite joke, bear with me cuz its long, but worth it...
A poor man who lives in a straw hut wants to to impress his neighbor. So he works for 3 months, enough to buy a fancy chair at the market. He calls his neighbor over for dinner one night and has him sit in the chair at dinner. He asks his neighbor, " isn't this a very nice chair? " To which the neighbor replies "it's okay i guess"...
Heartbroken, after the neighbor leaves, the man takes the chair upstairs and puts it in a closet and thinks.. maybe it was not a nice enough chair...
He then works 6 months, leaves his little straw hut and hitches a ride to the city and buys an extravagant chair with velvet padding. Once again he has his neighbor over for dinner, this time the neighbor says "it's nice, but I've seen better"
Sad, the man stores the chair in the upstairs closet. But the man could not be deterred.
He then worked for an entire year, left his little straw hut and went all the way to the capitol and bought a gaudy, gold painted chair with lion motifs and silk pillows.
The neighbor comes over to dinner and says. "Wow, what an ugly chair!"
Furious, the man grabs the chair, marches upstairs and throws it in the closet with such force that his entire straw hut collapses.
I guess people who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones...
They store it in dad-a-base.
So I went to the store to find something to get rid of them. Not knowing anything I picked out a bottle of raid and I asked the worker if it was any good for bees to which he replied โnot at all it kills themโ
A retail store!
From the second hand store.
... the store manager reported that I took a leek.
Of the hardware store.
My son had never heard of the store โBuy Buy Babyโ (an American chain of stores for products for babies, similar to โBabies R Usโ). I canโt remember exactly why I brought it up, but I mentioned the store to my wife (I think we were reminiscing on shopping there for our kids). My son overheard me say it, and he asked if it was some sick name for an abortion clinic.
As in โBye bye baby.โ
So stupid but I canโt remember the last time I laughed as hard as I did. I canโt stop replaying it in my head and laughing.
Thatโs why I robbed the board game store.
His first robotic appendage was defective from the second hand store.
But I forgot where I stored it.
I took my son to the store to get some ingredients for dinner. We were having Mexican food, and when we got to the aisle with the salsa, my son stared indecisively at the shelves. After a good minute, he still hadnโt made a decision and I knew my wife would be wondering what was taking so long.
So I told him,
โSon, pick up the pace.โ
There was once a boy. He was the son of the richest man in the universe. Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates, he dwarfed them all. He was a multi-trillionaire. Now, it was this boy's birthday. His father asked him,
"My son. I am the richest man in the universe. I could buy you anything you want for your birthday. A store full of lego, all the video games in the world, anything. What would you like?"
His son replied.
"Oh father. It would make me the happiest boy in the world if you could get me one pink ping pong ball."
His father was rather confused by this request. Out of all the things he could've chosen, his son chose a ping pong ball. Nonetheless, he agreed and gave him a pink ping pong ball. His son was overjoyed and spoke to him.
"My father, you have made me the happiest boy in the world. May I go up to my room and play with my pink ping pong ball?"
"Okay son, go ahead."
The boy then went up to his room and played with his pink ping pong ball. When his father went in the next morning to check on him, the boy was sleeping in his bed and the pink ping pong ball was nowhere to be found.
On the boy's next birthday, his father asked him again.
"My son. I am the richest man in the universe. I could buy you anything you want for your birthday. What would you like?"
His son replied.
"Oh father. It would make me the happiest boy in the world if you could get me one box full of pink ping pong balls."
His father was again, confused by this. Still, he bought a cardboard box and filled it with ping pong balls. He gave it to his son, who said.
"My father, you have made me the happiest boy in the world. May I go up to my room and play with my pink ping pong balls?"
The father nodded, and the son went up to his room to play. The next morning when his father went to check, the boy was sleeping peacefully and there were no pink ping pong balls in sight. Just the empty cardboard box in the middle of the room.
On the boy's next birthday, his father asked him again.
"My son. I am the richest man in the universe. I could buy you anything you want for your birthday. What would you like?"
"Oh father. It would make me the happiest boy in the world if you could get me one truck full of ping pong balls."
Now, by this point, the father was extremely confused. Why did the boy want so many pink ping pong balls and where were they going? He asked.
"My son. You are the most precious thing in the world to me and I can certainly get you this, but may I ask, why do you want
... keep reading on reddit โกAfter she rang through all my items, the cashier at the grocery store asked โis that everything.โ I replied โno, but I canโt afford everything.โ
I asked him:
If you pooped up into the air, would it be skyarrhea?
If you pooped after eating a pastry, would it be piearrhea?
If you pooped in the middle of the grocery store, would it aislearrhea?
If your poop was painful, would it be cryarrhea?
If you couldn't poop, would your friend ask you to just tryarrhea?
If you didn't actually have to poop, but said you did, would it be liearrhea?
If you were a scientist who had to take a poop, would it be Bill Nyearrhea?
If you pooped in an airplane, would it by flyarrhea?
If you pooped while working for a secret government agency, would it be spyarrhea?
"Sir!! This is a liquor store "
The coroner store
And I was promptly removed from the hardware store premises.
the main guy wears a Donald duck costume. I really don't like to go to the store though because my mom always said that one shouldn't take drugs from a quack.
Child: โ if you are being frank who is being dad?โ
Actual conversation I heard in the store
Ancient Scot Richard's Warriors: Dick's Picts
Loki - Trick pics (from my brother)
Pictures of an Adam Sandler movie: "Click" pics.
Pictures of a Kaitlin Olson character: The Mick's pics
Screenahots of these comments: Wit pics
Leaky faucet: drip pics
X1 Cumberbatch photos: Benedict pics
X2 Pope photos: Benedict pics (also works)
X3 Turncoat snaps: Benedict pics
X4 "Wong" image: Benedict pics
Legal command: Writ pics
Pictures of twigs: Stick pics
A Christmas Story scene: lick pics
Pictures of a Winter Saint: Nick pics
Syringe photos: prick pics (from a friend)
Sporting goods store images: Dick's pics.
Dan Harmon cartoon character: Rick's pics.
I would have broken more if they didnโt kick me out of the music store.
A pet store had a bird contest with no perches necessary.
They go to the store to bison.
:D :D :D :D :D
Never mind she was just at the grocery store
Him:* lifts gallon * done
Her: no from the store
Him: I imagine it weighs the same there too
From the general store
Once upon a time there were numerous tribes in a jungle. Each tribe struggled to survive, and over time and as skills evolved, tribes began to trade goods with each other. One tribe learned the skills of architecture, and traded designs for safe grass houses with neighboring tribes for other necessities, such as food. Over time, the tribe grew quite rich, and without the need for goods the chief of the tribe demanded payment in the form of a tribute, an ornate throne. Over time the number of thrones the chief owned grew more and more numerous, so he had a great multi-story grass house built to store all of his thrones. One day, the weight of the thrones became so much the house collapsed, killing the chief. The moral of the story isโฆ wait for itโฆ
He who lives in grass houses shouldnโt stow thrones.
โข you suddenly know all the words to every Eagles song.
โข you get up early on a Saturday morning to make sure youโll be tired enough for a couch nap that afternoon.
โข you change your carโs oil exactly every 2,000 miles.
โข mowing the lawn is no longer a chore, but a privilege.
โข you can actually tell old John Wayne movies apart.
โข your idea of fun is aimlessly wandering around the home improvement section of any store.
If one store goes down, they will all go down.
So my 1st Born came into this world on Monday night and we were discharged on Thursday. Upon leaving our room, we were given a metal cart to place our belongings on including our son (in his car seat). As we made our way to the garage, I noticed that when the cart was rolling his car seat would rock a bit. I took this opportunity to exclaim โhey (sonโs name) youโre really rockinโ โnโ rollinโ now.โ My wife then truly realized what is in store for her.
I went inside to pay and saw two policemen in the store. I said "Did you guys see that woman out there?" They looked outside and suddenly darted out the door. I turn and see she caught her arm on fire.
The policemen threw a blanket around her and wrestled her to the ground and put out the fire. Then they gave her a ticket!
After they came inside I asked why they gave her a ticket. Turns out she didn't have a license for that firearm.
To get to the second hand store.
...the one thing I actually look forward to when we go to Hobby Lobby is the moment we're walking through the store, I try to keep a perfectly straight face and act like I have a genuine interest in something on the shelf, I reach up and I say something like, "Oh, look at this nice little Stool sample!"
(Not really a joke, but a true dad joke recurring scenario of mine)
His dad takes him to an exotic pet store, where they see a big, hairy spider. The father asks how much it costs. โThatโs fifty dollars,โ the clerk replies.
โFifty bucks!โ the dad exclaims. โForget that, Iโll just find a cheap one off the web.โ
My friend says, did y'all know that in Australia they have a store called yute-r-us?
The second hand store.
at a secondhand store
He got it at a second hand store...
at a second hand store.
A Retail store!
The second-hand store
>!The second hand store.!<
The second-hand store.
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