Grinch Food Puns

This happened a couple of months ago and they left my copy of Devolution by Max Brooks. Apparently not avid readers.

Do you recognize this Grinch? He stole items that were being collected for a food drive in Walnut Creek.

My blood is boiling.

As someone who just got her shit cut off over bullshit income requirement changes and knowing how easy it is to check your benefits online or via phone and the fact they ALWAYS send a letter, I want to reach through my phone and sock this OP.

Who doesn't call or check their account online to confirm deposit of benefits anyway? On top of that, if she was under investigation or fully cut off and had benefits left over - they wouldn't retroactively take her shit. I got cut off and had $25 left from November 7th. So I was still able to use that balance, you just do not get a new deposit.

The panhandling is strong with this one.

Edit: For the people messaging me who think I'm judging prostitutes or sex work in general, I'm not. "Prostitution whore" is a line from Real Housewives of NJ and clearly this is just a story line.

Here's a link to my research, which I called "Final Destination".

Here's an Imgur Album of the charts if your phone doesn't like Google Docs.

And here is a link to my original post, submitted roughly 3 years ago, during the time the Smash Ballots were open.

The long and short of it, here are the characters that made it into Ultimate in some form, and their percentiles in the overall chart:

• King K. Rool (16.0%, 4160 Total Votes)

• Daisy (6.4%, 1663 Total Votes)

• Shovel Knight Assist Trophy (4.9%, 1267 Total Votes)

• Snake (3.9%, 1003 Total Votes)

• Waluigi Assist Trophy (2.4%, 631 Total Votes)

• Bayonetta Also Smash 4 Ballot Winner (2.3%, 611 Total Votes)

• Inkling (2.3%, 589 Total Votes)

• Wolf (2.2%, 586 Total Votes)

• Ice Climbers (1.7%, 548 Total Votes)

• Roy Also Smash 4 DLC (1.7%, 450 Total Votes)

• Ridley (1.3%, 370 Total Votes)

• Simon Belmont (1.0%, 289 Total Votes)

• Bomberman Assist Trophy (0.8%, 260 Total Votes)

• Pichu (0.8%, 200 Total Votes)

• Monster Hunter Rathalos Boss (0.7%, 189 Total Votes)

The following characters did not place high enough to have a percentile, but are in Smash Ultimate in some way:

• Knuckles Assist Trophy (156 Votes)

• Squirtle (86 Votes)

• Ivysaur (76 Votes)

• Pokémon Trainer (31 Votes)

• Chrom (18 Votes)

• Zero Assist Trophy (17 Votes)

• Dark Samus (10 Votes)

Though I suppose if you added all the votes for Pokemon Trainer, Ivysaur, and Squirtle together, you would land at 193, which would place him around the 0.7%-0.8% mark.

For those asking, here are the Grinch Characters. I pray that I got my formatting right this time, these should be spoiler tags. For some reason GreaterThan/Less Than was not working for me no matter how hard I tried. Apologies if I spoiled anyone.

• Character: Banjo-Kazooie 6.0%, 1552 Votes

• Character: Isaac 5.6%, 1461 Votes

• Character: Geno 1.6%, 448 Votes

• Character: Chorus Kids 1.0%, 264 Votes

• Character: Shadow: 24 Votes

• Character: Ken: No Votes

• Character: Mach Rider: No Votes

There are some interesting observations to be made from this data.

How complex is their society? They appear to have currency and fossil fuels and electricity, but their little mountain town is surrounded by pristine Arctic forest as far as the eye can see. Where do all of their resources come from? What kind of industries does Whoville support?

But seriously, it's just similar to any other day for me. Christmas is fun for kids but I think I may have grown much older for it.

I have no problems with people celebrating Christmas, nor am I the grinch but I am a Jew and as such have never celebrated Christmas.

A few years before I was married and had children my SO brought me over to his parents on Christmas for a family get together. Nothing odd about Jews getting together on Christmas, I have done this before with my family and we have bagels or eat Chinese food for dinner. But I was quite surprised to see Christmas inflatables on their lawn and a full sized Christmas tree in their living room. I was even more surprised when everyone started opening Christmas presents wrapped in Christmas paper. My SO was given a bunch of presents from his parents and I believe they gave me one too.

On the way home I asked my SO if one of his parents were Christian and he assured me both were Jewish and that his mom is just really into Christmas. I thought it was super strange but moved on with my life.

Scroll forward to present day holiday season. My MIL had asked my husband for us to come over Christmas morning to open presents with our children (she was very excited because this would be her first Christmas with her grandchildren because of Covid). I however was very against this, our children are Jewish and we celebrate Hanukkah, I don’t want to confuse them by taking them over to my Jewish in-laws to celebrate and open Christmas presents. I told my husband to relay the message (I don’t really have a close relationship with my MIL anyway). When he told her we were not coming my MIL told my husband I was a bitch and ruining Christmas and how dare I keep her grandchildren away. Now she is not speaking to us (not a bad thing IMO)

TLDR;

AITA for not wanting to celebrate Christmas with my Jewish in-laws or are they just guilty of cultural appropriation?

EDIT: I did discuss with my husband and we are on the same page

We just got together with my in-laws and spent plenty of family time together and opening presents during Hanukkah

My children are exposed to Christmas and Santa but I don’t feel the need to celebrate it

2nd Edit 12/26: the amount of anti- Semitic direct messages I have received is deplorable. So sad we still have to deal with uneducated bigots in 2021.

Somewhere there is a woman making it happen.

I posted those two sentences in a reply to someone in another subreddit but I wanted to bring it up here because this is a real, real problem.

I hate Christmas. Loathe it. I've been teased about being a Grinch for years. There is not one single aspect I enjoy. Everyone keeps saying variations of the same thing, but...but...the beauty of everything sparking with lights, the excited squeal of children, the mountains of food.

Except that's all the stuff they experience, it's stuff I DO. Nothing is for me. Everything under the tree I'll have had to work to afford (I work 80 hour weeks normally, there isn't extra I can do) which means stuff is going to have to get cut to afford it. Those cuts always come out of whatever tiny little fragment is dedicated to me. I'm eating nothing but baloney sandwiches at work. We've cut out out to eats and ordering this month to make sure there is Christmas money but that's just more labor for me to do. I made a whole ass ham on a random Tuesday because it was on sale after Thanksgiving and I could get it for seven dollars.

The day will come and it'll be beautiful and magical and I'll have suffered for two months to make it happen and not even a single soul will acknowledge the 100 hours of labor that goes in tracking down all the Christmas lists, all the shopping, decorating, wrapping and cooking.

Who wouldn't want to wake up, get showered with gifts and food? I get why other people like it but fuck you if you're a mom who has to make it happen. You should be HAPPY about it. At least that's the message I keep getting.

"It's your day. You should do things that make you happy." That's what our families keep saying to us. So here's what makes us happy: a simple ceremony with good food and dancing. Simple as that.

I got tired of my fiance's family making what was supposed to be a small 40-50 person wedding into a family reunion party with over 250 people just on his side. He is not happy about it either. We both decided to use COVID as an excuse to "cut back" and went with:

1. No big flowers. Never liked them. Fiance doesn't care. We have a fabric arch, candles, chandeliers, and other decor. Our "florist" thinks it's hilarious that we have almost no flowers, but he's getting paid regardless.
2. No 1st dance. We don't like being the center of attention. We prefer to dance with our friends, so it's not like there's no dancing.
3. No bridal shower or engagement party. No one in our circle does these, but the older generation was upset about the shower.
4. No veil or train on my dress. I'd like to be able to get around on my own.
5. No paper invites. People were legit upset about getting e-vites... we got a dozen phone calls about them.
6. No children under 18. People are upset about this too, but actually less than the invites.
7. No registry. We have no need for any appliances, dishes, pans, or glasswares. I learned that some Americans don't like giving cash, but we'd rather they not give anything than get another thing we don't need. His side does not like this at all.
8. No bridesmaids or groomsmen. The ceremony venue is small and there's no place for them to stand. I also didn't want to force my best girlfriends to buy an ugly dress of the same color that they'd never wear again. I wanted them to wear a dress that shows off their personality.
9. No pregnant cousin. [See ETA 1.] This was a tough call, as I don't mind her. We have rooms set up, so she could go in there and use a couch or something, but my fiance was against it because he was mad at her about other things. So we told her no.
10. No huge ceremony. Despite his family being 200+, we went with a much smaller 50-person ceremony, and everyone else is invited to the reception.
11. No bride/father and groom/mother dances. Our parents made it clear that they don't want them, and they both have bad joints.
12. No bouquet or garter toss. We will be tossing other goodies, like t-shirts.
13. No white dress. Oh yeah, I went with a burgundy one. Whoops.
14. No cake? Still up in the air. We didn't like any of the cak

** This is BestofRedditorUpdates. I am not the OP. This is a repost. Original by u/CapnDonkey **

This had been posted on this sub before, but not with all of the updates.

Original (Nov 2019)

AITA if I "cancel" Christmas because I can't afford it this year?

Title says it all, sole provider for family, all credit cards maxed, negative bank balance, upcoming missed payments until my next check, basically destitute for the foreseeable future. My wife and I usually decorate on Black Friday, but this year I don't want to. The thought of putting up our fake tree knowing I'll have nothing to put under it fills me with such a mix of shame, anger, and pain. I would prefer to just let December pass and cut out as many things as I can until I can get my finances under control. Plus, my daughter is 2. She won't know, care, or even remember one missed Christmas. So, AITA? I'm already a failure as a husband and father, so what say you here?

Judgment: YTA

>A very gentle YTA
>
>Decorating with stuff you have wont cost anything but will make your wife happy. Christmas isnt about presents under the tree. Its the memories you make around that tree with people you love. Let her decorate if she wants to.
>
>Youre also an asshole to yourself in this post. Listen. Debt cripples people. It crushes them and spits them out so it has room to gobble up another guy. You arent a failure. You gotta be nicer to yourself man. Good luck.

Updates added to the post:

THIS HAS SPUN OUT OF CONTROL! I never thought my sad man pity party would get this kind of response. I was expecting to be called an asshole, validate my self loathing, and claw my way out of debt by working harder. I did not expect the absolute torrent of love and support that I in no way deserve or can accept.

INFO (And I am so sorry for not making this crystal clear in the original post): Our mortgage and utilities are paid. There is food in our fridge and my next paycheck(s) is secure, even though it, too, will all go to bills with none left over for gifts. I pretended not to notice that we weren't keeping up our pre-child lifestyle without credit cards and I got in over my head and now have to dig myself out of a relatively deep hole meaning I won't have money for gifts and meals out and holiday gatherings and whatnot for a good bit of time to come. But, I have a gre

So before I go too into detail I want to make it clear to everyone reading this that I REALIZE HOW CRAZY IT SOUNDS, but I assure you it is true...every word. I would think someone was on something if they told me this, but I lived it.

So, Sometime back in 2004 or 2005 I live in some apartments in North Austin called "International Residence". I had a small efficiency apartment by myself and at the time I was trying to become a world famous rapper, you can still find some of my stuff on YouTube. Anyways, I had more beer in my fridge than food, my best neighbors were the strippers that lived across the way, and they wanted to hang out with me every single day, i had no complaints of course.

Well, on new years I decided I would go to my cousins in Sealy,Tx, about 100 miles away , for a new years bash. I arrive in Sealy an everything's great, We party down have a good ol time out at this huge fancy ranch. After the party was over I head back to my cousins, still in Sealy mind you, and crash out on her couch.

"the dream"

That night I had the most vivid dream. Now, when i say "vivid" I mean it was so real that I thought it was absolutely .100% real. I remember I walked up to my Neighbors door, the stripper neighbors door, and knocked, they were having a party. They opened up the door and had a house full of people. Everyone was happy to see me. I remember Taking pictures with people, in particular one of me and the stripper neighbor kissing at midnight. I remember taking shots and and everything you do at a New years party, I remember everything but leaving. I do remember walking out the door and then nothing.

"the next day"

The next morning I wake up, on the couch, at my cousins, in Sealy, 100 miles away. I had to catch a bus that morning, so my cousin dropped me off and i headed back to Austin. My mom was waiting for me and drove me home. I was walking up to my house, toting my bags and as I'm standing there trying to unlock my door i hear "hey Grinch" (that was my nick name, I got it tatted on my back). I turn around and it's my neighbor,you know, the stripper..

"Unreal"

"You enjoy the party last night?" she asked. Assuming she meant my cousins since that's where I was I said "yeah, How was your party?"

She looked at me funny and said "you should know, you were there"

I in turn looked at her puzzled, remembering the dream from the night before. "I was in Sealy last night ,remember? I went to my cousins. My mom just dropped me off from the bus

I(F30) am a single first time mom to a precocious, rambunctious, high energy toddler (2). I parent on my own on a daily basis, provide my child a well rounded diet low in sugars, take her to multiple enrichment classes, and have her on a nice nap routine.

Week before Christmas and I take my kid to my aunts house. Everyone meets there for the holiday. Now, I understood that my daughter diet would have to change as she would have to eat what everyone else was eating. I figured I let the reign go and let her just eat all the holiday food but monitor the sweets. After being accused of being a Christmas Grinch, I gave up and let my daughter eat pretty much anything that was offered. People would ask me beforehand and I would say “yes, just a little bite.”.

This transferred over to toys, bedtime, brushing teeth, everything. If i said “bath time!” my aunt would say “no mommy she’s playing” and shoo me away. My kid picked up on this pretty quickly and became totally defiant. She began to hurt the pets and spit at people, just behaving totally out of character by the time xmas hit. my aunt lives a state away so really has no idea what daily behavior is for my daughter so chalked the bad behavior up to toddlerhood.

Today, my child is just utterly exhausted from yesterday’s festivities and in total brat mode so I start putting my foot down. Saying no to sweets and enforcing nap times again. My aunt said I was being controlling all week and disturbing my child from building bonds with family members. She said that it’s been a pain to ask me if my child can eat something and that I need therapy for trying to control my child so much . She said it’s unfair for her to offer the child something then I say “no”. I say she shouldn’t offer without asking but if she does on accident and I say “No” then my word should be final.

AITA?

I guess the concept didn't work

So, I've been doing these kinds of posts for some years now, every time I reach a new milestone in my musical theatre journey. I started listening to Cast Recordings about three years ago, as I realized that I loved musical theatre but was unable to see most shows with my own eyes. (I live in Mexico, where we rarely get musicals and, if we do, they are translated)

I make this post for those who think that they are unable to enjoy musical theatre from afar. Look where I've come, by just listening to the Cast Recordings! My recommendation is to pay attention to the lyrics. If a musical does its job well, the story will live in its lyrics. It doesn't hurt to check out the Wikipedia page for some guidance. If you can, reading the script along with the cast recording gives a more rounded experience.

I have compiled every musical I've listened to in a list, wherein I also list my favorite songs from the score. Feel free to recommend any more shows, I'm always on the lookout! Also, you can use this as a way to find your next favorite musical!

1. Into The Woods - Prologue or On the Steps of the Palace
2. Oklahoma! - Oh, What a Beautiful Morning! or Oklahoma or The Surrey With The Fringe On Top
3. Sunday In The Park With George - Title Song or It's Hot Up Here
4. Passion - Happiness
5. Heathers - Dead Girl Walking
6. Dear Evan Hansen - Good For You
7. Avenue Q - The Internet is for Porn or There's a Fine, Fine Line
8. Be More Chill - More Than Survive
9. Spring Awakening - The Bitch Of Living or Touch Me
10. Wicked - Defying Gravity or Popular or No Good Deed or The Wizard and I
11. Something Rotten! - Hard To Be The Bard or Right Hand Man or A Musical
12. The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee - The I Love You Song
13. Waitress - She Used To Be Mine or What Baking Can Do or When He Sees Me
14. The Book of Mormon - I Believe
15. The Phantom of the Opera - The Phantom of the Opera or Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again
16. Merrily We Roll Along - Old Friends or Not A Day Goes By or Opening Doors
17. Falsettos - I'm Breaking Down or A Day In Falsettoland
18. The Last Five Years - Moving Too Fast or A Summer in Ohio
19. Matilda The Musical - Miracle or Revolting Children
20. Mean Girls - World Burn
21. Hairspray - It Takes Two or You Can't Stop The Beat
22. 36 Questions - For The Record or We Both
23. Legally Blonde The Musical - So Much Better
24. Les Misérables - On My Own or One Day More!
25. Kinky Boots

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

After reading through profiles and saying to myself "haven't I read some version of this prompt before", I decided to put this to the test and record down the prompts of the next 100 users that showed up. I sorted their prompt responses into different categories and then consolidated similar prompt responses.

Was this a good use of my time? No
Is this meant to be some sort of attack on women and their prompt responses? No, please keep that out of the comments. I am sure that men probably have very similar prompts.
Was there some prompts that didn't make this list? Many including various genuinely great prompts that were unique enough to not be repeated.

Population: 100 Women between the ages of 22-27 within 5 miles of downtown Toronto so obviously a truly diverse and representative look at women around the world /s. (I'm pretty sure I lost count midway through so this is likely more than 100 users)

My internal rules:

1. If a prompt consisted of more than one category in a single prompt (i.e. my simple pleasures are coffee and dessert) then I included the prompt in both the coffee and dessert section.
2. If someone included coffee in two of their prompts it would count towards coffee twice.
3. I grouped similar prompts together to keep things simple.
4. I eliminated all results only used once.

The Results (Grouped by Category)
Food / Drink:
Non Wine Alcohol - i.e. Cocktails, Mimosas, Tequila (18 Times), Food - Non Specific (14), Wine (8), Dessert (7), Coffee (6), Ice Cream (4), Pizza (4), Brunch (3), Chicken Nuggets (3), Tacos (3), Milk (3 - wtf), Water (3), Hot Sauce (3), Oysters (2), Ketchup (2), Bagels (2), 15 other foods (1 each)

Entertainment / Activities:
Vacations (12), Music (11), Movies (5), Live Concerts (5), Napping (4), The Grinch (4 - weirdly specific), Euchre (4), Netflix (3), Cuddles (3), Blacking Out at the Bar (3), Skydiving (3), IKEA - Furniture + Building + Food (3), Golf (3), Snowboarding (2), Harry Potter (2), Gym (2), Costco (2), Reading (2), Baking (2), Yoga (2)

Qualities Desired/Held:
Sense of Humour/Laughing/Being Funny (11), Spontaneous / Not Taking Life Seriously (4), Dancer at Club (4), Attracted to Elbows (3), Fast Walker (3), Being Genuine (2), Being Adventurous (2), Life of the Party (2), Good Vibes (2), Ambitious (2)

Animals:
Dogs (12), Cats (2)

Other (Useless imo) Prompts:
Flats vs Drumsticks (5), Looking for a double date (5), Eating Your Fries When I Say

KuCoin Inc

1919 Potassium Ave

North Pole, Earth, 42069

Dear KuCoin,

I only have one wish this holiday season. I wish that a top 5 exchange 📈 will list my absolute favorite coin, banano 🍌. If you are the first to list it, you'll be number one in my book (so long, banance)!

One very important reason I'd like banano to be listed on your exchange is that my favorite monkey 🐒, Tiny Tamarin, has a terminal illness that can only be cured if he gets to ride in his very own Lambo 🏎️. Specifically a yellow one, with the chiquita banana sticker painted on the driver's door. If I'm to have banana themed Lambo money I'm gonna need to sell my ban for at least $4.20/ban, but that won't happen without your help!

Don't be a Grinch like that one exchange, Huobi. We were down here in the jungle, preparing for massive holiday giveaways, donating food 🍚 to the poor, and generally monKeying 🐒 around. Huobi showed up for a few days and acted really friendly, then out of the blue they just ghosted us 👻. Maybe u/chocolatefudcake sent them nudes, I dunno. We didn't let that get us down, though. Santrix (/u/thisisshittoo) 🎅 even showed up to play us a concert to help us feel better.

So please, KuCoin, my only wish for the new year is to see banano crush it's previous ATH and fly 🚀 straight to mars. Is that so much for a little monke to ask for? I know you can help me KuCoin, I just know you can.

Sending love and potassium your way,

beamteam 🙈🙉🙊🐵🐒

PS - even if you don't list us soon, it's ok. 1 ban = 1 ban 🍌

I know most of you are gonna see how long this is and “nope” the fuck outta here; but this was extremely vulnerable of me to make - so those that do read I appreciate it.

I hate Christmas.

I know. That line kinda makes me sound like the grinch; and I mean; to be fair; I am…..but I promise I have an explanation - this is probably gonna be a super long post; and get buried in new but, typing it out is going to be therapeutic for me as I spend yet another holiday alone and struggling.

A bit about me: I realize by the time I’m done with this post my “anonymity” will be gone - but I’ve never cared - post squeeze I’m disappearing anyways. I’m 31 years old. A veteran, I mostly survive off VA disability (less than 1500$ a month) and small photo and video jobs - freelancing as a writer for a few theme park outlets etc. (when covid isn’t killing the industry) Any spare money I have is invested whole heartedly into GME (7 shares direct registered) I full time in an old 19 foot class B rv that is literally tearing itself apart - the cabinets are falling off the wall with nails exposed, the water leaks, and the engine oil burns - I’ve been told I should just sell my shares and repair everything that needs it or sell my shares and sell the rv and try to find a new one. All of that sounds like continuing the cycle of struggling and giving up after holding for a year. I’m not the type to ask for help - a bit too stubborn for it - I get that from my moms side.

At this point my family and I are pretty severed in connection and staying in touch- We are getting there - to the reason I really hate Christmas. I’m currently in a Cr. Barrel parking lot alone scrolling superstonk just wishing it was Monday for the markets to be open and MOASS to happen so I can feel relief.

Christmas - It’s filled with bad memories and pain for me; and usually struggle - and this years not much different. I’ve been out of the army for almost 10 years now. While I was in I went home on my first leave in a long time for Christmas. Got home December 22 2010. A day I could never forget. I got to my fathers, and my grandmother was sitting on the porch. We hadn’t talked in a while besides hand written letters - as can sometimes be the nature of the military. We talked and laughed and caught up for about 15 minutes before I was rushed away for dinner with my father. I grew up around family; my grandmother lived 2 blocks away from where I lived all my childhood.

I passed out drunk on the c

1. xNTx:The Narcissists

INTJ "Get off my lawn,hippies!" -Grumpy boomer who owns pitbulls and has a "TRESPASSERS WILL BE SHOT" sign in his backyard. "Goddamn whippersnappers! No respect for their elders! Back in my day,we used to walk 857 miles through snow and fought a giant seven-headed dragon to get to school! Kids these days just hang around on their phones!". Hates Christmas because they think that the Grinch and Ebenezer Scrooge were supposed to be role models.

INTP "Fedora tipping champion"-Unironically enjoys watching anime. Thinks the number 69 is peak humor. No,self-diagnosing with depression isn't the basis of your entire personality. Emo school shooter vibes sometimes ngl. Procrastination is your middle name. Basically ENTP but with the social skills of a broken chainsaw,sends you cursed memes in their free time.

ENTJ "Proud antivaxxer"-Definitely has that blond mom haircut that makes you know she's the type that tries to get a retail worker fired because she noticed a hair in her burger. No Karen,your kid doesn't have autism or depression because of vaccines,they're just shy. Stop trying to call the manager because you were told you can't get a free Big Mac. Genuinely a flat earther whose sense of humor relies on cheesy facebook minion memes.

ENTP "400 year old virgin (not a typo)"-You will never get laid. Seriously,I sometimes wonder if your mouth is even capable of being closed for more than 0.00000000000000000005 seconds,and I think even that long is too much for you. You don't have to "ACKSHUALLY!" everything,just leave things the way they are for once,Jesus Christ. You definitely stole a nerd's lunch money in elementary/middle school and pushed them into a locker.

2. xNFx:The Hippies

INFJ "Osama bin Laden disguised as Gandhi"-Believes in astrology and essential oils. Is one of the hippies the INTJ boomer wants to force off his lawn. As the name suggests,could possibly go from peace-preaching altruist to nutjob terrorist murderer in the matter of a milisecond if their day happened to be unlucky enough. A living paradox and contradiction that will never be able to be fully explainable by anyone,including (and especially) themselves.

INFP "We'll do it tomorrow!"-...and proceeds to not do it tomorrow either,if at all. Impossible to have a casual conversation with without having them bring up "vibes/energies/spirits/the universe". Cries so hard their eyes explode when they accidentally step on an ant. Strongly believes that listening t

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

UPDATE: As with most things in life, it's unpredictable. Both dog and puppy became really ill yesterday morning with super scary runny tummies and vomiting. Puppy has a parasite he picked up at his rescue. Both dogs are receiving treatment and doing well. Treatment is time is 10 days and they need to be isolated... sooo seems I get legitimate reason to ask neighbours not to visit that they seem to respect out of fear for their 3 older dogs (eldest is 15). Thankfully doggies next door seem fine for now. Not ideal, but will give me the time I need to bond with puppy and do training.

------

Hi Guys, I feel like I am losing my mind over my weird neighbours. I (36F) just purchased a place with a lovely garden for my 1 year 5 month old Yorkie x Wire hair terrier girl. I lived in an apartment before. The neighbours in question sold their unit to me and bought a larger place next door. We have connecting garden gates and they have 3 dogs (Pomeranians). For the first 2,5 weeks I was fine with their 6 year old and 3 dogs playing with my dog. I thought it was a dream come true as she seemed to really love them and she's a rescue so super nervous with people. She seemed to blossom and enjoy strangers for the first time ever (save daycare).

8 days ago I rescued another puppy (3month old male Yorkie x).

Firstly, I crate trained my first dog and she LOVES her crate. If there's a thunderstorm or she has an extra special yummy chew, she runs to her crate. Sometimes naps in there with door open although prefers my lap/couch. The crate is not a negative place for her. My neighbour (woman) came over and was visibly upset that my new pup was sleeping peacefully in his crate whilst I was cooking/cleaning. Proceeded to spam me on what's app with PETA articles re it being cruel. Said i would read (out of respect), but I have had huge success with it and it isn't ever used as a punishment. She wouldn't listen and when I said please respectfully understand that puppy/older dog seem happy in crates, I could see a huge shift in her. That's when the issues escalated.

- It seemed fine to let everyone play for 2 days, but realised I needed puppy to bond to me. My older dog is bonded to me and it wasn't an issue playing next door, but with puppy it's all so new. Felt he needed to establish a bond to me and his big sister (core family vs. neighbours). Also started doing some recall training and wanted assess their play fighting styles/behaviour without 6 year old screaming his nam

I (21 F) am being guilt tripped by my mother into flying across the country to go see my grandfather who has total organ failure and is dying. (Backstory) My mother and I have had a very rocky relationship since she cheated on my father when I was 12 and they ended up getting divorced. It was super messy and both parties were fighting for custody of my little sister (18 F now) and I. My mother didn’t even fight for custody of my brother (24 M now 15 at the time). It is notable that my mother also treated me as more of a babysitter than a child. I had all the chores (my sister never had any) I also had to cook the food and my mother would go out almost every night and leave us alone for hours. Needless to say when I turned 18 after much more happened I went no contact with my mother. My therapist diagnosed me with “amnesia from trauma” and said it would be healthier for me to just avoid my mother for now till I figure out my feelings. I moved from Wisconsin to Nevada after graduating early when I was barely 18 with my brother and father. Now here’s where I am confused. Before I moved I went to see my Grandparents on my mothers side. I recently lost my grandmother on my fathers side and I realized I may not have much longer with all my grandparents and decided to talk to them for the first time in years just to clear the air and express that I am mad at my mother not at them. My brother went with me cause he figured it would end badly. He’s always been protective so it made sense at the time. Long story on that short… My grandfather said I was “fucked up in the head” and disowned me while my grandmother compared me to the grinch (it was around Christmas) and disowned me as well. I cried the whole way home. Now, my mother recently reached out via my sister to get me to fly back to Wisconsin because my grandfather is not doing very well at all and she wants me there to say goodbye. I have a few businesses of my own that I have the free time to be able to travel there which she knows but frankly I don’t think I should. I am still sad and upset by what was said and I don’t think my company will be met very well but my mother is insistent on my brother and I coming. I cry about my grandfather dying and at the thought still cause he is my grandfather after all, but I don’t know if I can see him in person let alone my grandmother and mother. My mother has been gaslighting me through social media and my little sister to get me to come calling me a child and an assho

Do your worst!