What does Ariana Grande say to her boyfriend when breaking up on Thanksgiving?

Thank you, next

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lelouch_uchiha8
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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What does Ariana Grande send when someone gives her gifts?

A thank you.....text.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/justoblanco
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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What was Ariana Grande known as before she hit it big?

Ariana PequeΓ±o

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bobswarly88
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
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Ariana Grande is the bomb
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PmanRulez23
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
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What's bigger than the Rio Grande?

Rio Venti

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aparks1437
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
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Ariana Venti is about 25% taller than Ariana Grande
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πŸ‘€︎ u/memeasaurus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
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What do you call it when Ariana Grande goes on a date?

A Grandezvous

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AcerNoobchio
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2019
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Shitty Ariana Grande Joke

Ariana is a Posh woman from London. She went shopping for expensive clothes, jewelery and met up with friends fior lunch. After a long day out she came home exhausted. Her husband asked "Ariana, how was your day" and she replied "Well love, it was a Grande thank you"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Not_Serious_BTW
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
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Which musical artist is bigger and better than Ariana Grande?

Ariana Venti

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aparks1437
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2019
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Did you hear Ariana Grande’s label just signed a new artist that’s gonna be even bigger?

Ariana Venti.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jewyouevenlift
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2019
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You know Ariana Grande?

I hear she's "big" in Mexico.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/celticdude234
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2018
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What does Ariana Grande have for breakfast?

Baaaaaacon, Eggs

Baaaaaacon, Eggs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/justainsel
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2019
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Did you know that Ariana Grande has two sisters?

Their names are Ariana Tall and Ariana Venti.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NickWilde992
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2018
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"That Ariana Grande..."

"I like her music a latte, but her sister, Ariana Venti, is going to be an even bigger hit."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WiBorg
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2014
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Today someone bought our department a box of donuts and some lotto tickets. The potential grand prize was $3,000, in which my boss exclaimed "Well that isn't enough to retire".

I corrected him by saying that is plenty of money to buy some new tires for your car.

The physical pain on his face was priceless.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Megaman_90
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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My grand father always said "fight Fire with Fire".

He was a great man but a terrible Fireman

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πŸ‘€︎ u/harshamfk
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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Ba dum ts- awwww
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πŸ‘€︎ u/karlicbread
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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A woman starting a hike at the Grand Canyon asked me how the trail was as I reached the top

I said β€œit’s all downhill from here!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ATexanHobbit
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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How did Bill Cosby describe the massive earthquake in the Grand Canyon?

β€œThere was a schism in the chasm.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Haaskivi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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What does someone with a boner obsession call the French Grand Prix

Circuit Paul Dickhard

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlfaRomeoFanatic
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
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Which is the grand master of nuts?

The chess-nut.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
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Did you hear about the grand reopening of the Lego Store?

It was huge. People were lined up for blocks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnAverageParodist
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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I was just asked about the name of the song written by Ida Corr and Fedde Le Grand

Let Me Think About It

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Josh2807
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
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Three boys go into a haunted house. One brought a knife, one brought a gun and one brought some cough drops

They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.

Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.

As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.

They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They saw a fully set dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal-looking glasses, goblets and silverware adorned the table. Spiders climbed on ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.

Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?

They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.

"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".

They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.

But the third said, confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.

The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hell, they knew, but none would turn back.

And the sound: "oOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUuuuuUUOOOO". Now loud enough to fill not only their heads but seeming to claw at their very souls!

Now at the basement door! The antique, crying squeak of the hinges eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEee made the boys wince and almost cover their ears. But they had to know. WHAT is making that horrible, terrible sound?

"ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUoooooUUUUUUUOOOOOOO"

In the center of the basement lay an unholy coffin! A twisted artistic expression of murder, decay and

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
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I'm going to open a pizza joint where they shake a box a bit before they hand it to you.

I'll call it Little Seizures.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zigbigidorlu
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
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Take a stand, a grand stand.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coadnamedalex
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
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A man goes for a prostate exam.

The doctor is checking him out when he finds a roll of $100 bills stuffed up his ass. He pulls out the money and counts it.

β€œYou’re not gonna believe this, but I just found $1900 shoved up your ass!”

The man says, β€œWell that makes sense. That’s why I haven’t been feeling too grand.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/engineer_of_sorts
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
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Can you name 3 places in Scotland that are also the names of Grand Prix winning racing drivers?
  1. (Lewis) Hamilton

  2. Stirling (Moss)

  3. Ayr Town Centre!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stoatwobbler
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
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Apparently the Grand Prix in Melbourne is going to be cancelled

A member of the McLaren team has tested positive for the carowner virus

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πŸ‘€︎ u/heykody
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2020
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I bought a musical instrument for my daughter, which cost me $1000.

It was a grand piano.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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Why don't they have as many used organs at Goodwill as used baby grand pianos?

It's hard to find organ donors.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JasonInNJ
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
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Grand-dad jokes

My daughter looking at disney princesses: whos thay

Me: thats Ariel

Grand-dad: i didnt know they named princesses after antennas

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CanadianNutButter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
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Got a pay rise of $1000 today, effective immediately.

What a grand start to the weekend.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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Gets them every time
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Icantevenread24
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
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Grand theft bakery
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlwaysNorth_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
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I will never forget the last thing what my late grandfather told me.

Sorry I'm late.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/__teju
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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My grandad was responsible for 28 downed german planes in WW2.

Still to this day holds the record as the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
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What’s the difference between Dubai and Abu dhabi?

Dubai doesn’t like the flint stones but Abu Dhabi do

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πŸ‘€︎ u/clemieux1991
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
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I love to tell Grand Dad jokes

They're 1,000 times funnier than regular dad jokes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AerialSnack
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
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A man goes to the doctor, and says "doctor, I havent been peeing correctly and its painful". The doctor replies "I will have to perform a prostate exam." As the doctor examines the man, he pulls out an $100 bill out of his bottom. This continues, he keeps pulling out money from this man's bottom.

After about half an hour the doctor says..."You won't believe this, but i just pulled $1999 out of your bottom"

The man turns around and says "Yeah, I wasn't feeling 2 grand"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/domheffo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
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A local fast food joint had a grand opening with a fireworks display...

There were lots of Sonic booms that night.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
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Marriage is grand!

But a divorce is 10 grand

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ExpertAccident
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
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What do you call an expert at dad jokes?

A master of pun fu

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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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I messaged my grand dad a picture of a dog underwater wearing a scuba suit...

I told him I thought he might need a subwoofer. He then responded, "That's deep." How do I respond so I don't lose this battle?!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YeOldeStonebox
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
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How many people live in Rio?

A Brazilian

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gygim
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
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We live in a society
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeOsaru
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
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What does Ariana Grande want to be when she grows up?

Ariana Venti

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2019
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Did you hear about the crowds at the grand opening of the new Lego store?

People were lined up for blocks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CurGeorge8
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
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