A list of puns related to "Graduale Simplex"
Hello Apes! My wrinkle brain friends u/zinko83, u/MauerAstronaut, u/Lennixus, u/criand and several others have recently written some excellent DD's and posts on recent developments in wrinkle-brain GME theory, namely these excellent posts on volatility swaps, options hedging using variance swaps, as well as u/Leenixus' excellent Dick-Dick today
If you haven't seen these, please take a moment and go read these DD's that explain how shorts continue to mess with our favorite company and how we can predict price action within some degree of accuracy. To sum it up quickly, here's a quick quote from u/zinko83's post on variance:
> Hedge funds sell variance making them short, which in turn requires them to hold a portfolio of long OTM options to hedge the short swap. This should be making lightbulbs turn on, if it doesnβt go check Citadel Advisors, Susquehanna, Simplex holdings and see they hold not only puts but calls come back and stare at the replicating above, it will click eventually.
And from u/mauerastronautβs post on variance swaps:
> GME options chain is indicative of the βReplicating Portfolioβ used to hedge short variance exposure. This portfolio involves long puts and calls, short forwards and a rather small position in shares. Assuming open naked shorts on GME, willing counterparties for short forwards would be market makers or prime brokers trying to get around close-outs through deemed-to-own clauses. Short variance exposure can explain many events that happened this year around the stock, but not correlations to other tickers. We believe it to be a major driver of GMEβs stock price. It is suspicious that the options chain looks like this in such an obvious way, since doing a complete hedge usually burns the premiums collected, and also is sending very clear signals which investment firms usually try to circumvent.
> Whales bet that banana wouldnβt go up and down a lot, but it did. Open banana options suggest this, and maybe help explain where fake bananas came from. Banana value moves because whales are trying to not get fukd. Whales normally are not that obvious, which tells us something. The question is what.
In light of this new
... keep reading on reddit β‘Sharing my story in hopes of hearing of anybody with similar experiences.
Iβm a 21 yo female. In August of 2019, I began to experience intense itching. I wrote it off as a yeast infection and used an over-the-counter treatment. The itching died down, but when I went to the doctor for another health issue, I asked to be swabbed for yeast just to be sure. The yeast test came back negative. A couple weeks later, the itching returned. I went to a doctor and was swabbed for yeast again. This time, I was prescribed a topical ointment and diagnosed with a yeast infection. After using the ointment for months with no relief, I returned to the doctor. This time, I was diagnosed with warts/sore, which was odd to me, as Iβd only had one partner, whoβd Iβd dated exclusively since a young age. I had also never had penetrative sex. I questioned the doctor, but began to use the prescribed imiquimod ointment. I wanted a second opinion, so I visited another doctor and was told that there were no warts/sores/STDs and that I most likely had lichen sclerosis. I was prescribed a topical ointment and referred to a gyno, who determined I had lichen simplex and kept me on the topical ointment. Itβs December 2019 at this point. Fast forward four months and the itching is just as bad as ever. I return got the gyno who does a vulvar biopsy (worst experience ever) to rule out STDs and other things. The results come back perfectly normal except for polyploidys, and no lichen simplex, lichen sclerosis, STDs, cancer, etc. is found. Gyno decided a to meet me on topical tacrolimus ointment. The itching somewhat improves but is still present. Fast forward to December 2020, and I visit a dermatologist for an unrelated issue and decide to tell her about the itching, thinking that it may be a skin condition. She checks me out, swabs for yeast, does blood tests for diabetes, and finds everything to be normal. She then refers me to a specialist with a minimally invasive gynecology surgery clinic. After seeing a team of two physicians, they determine I have vulvodynia and begin to treat me with duloxetine, I see some improvement, though minimal, and they progressively increase my dosage to 90mg. After seeing little improvement, they add gabapentin to the mix and gradually increase my dosage there as well. At this point I take 60mg duloxetine and 600mg gabepentin. Still no improvement, in fact it got the worst its ever been, and they decide to phase out the gabepentin and introduce 10mg nortript
... keep reading on reddit β‘Do your worst!
It really does, I swear!
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies π
Theyβre on standbi
Buenosdillas
Pilot on me!!
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
You take away their little brooms
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
Why
Itβs pronounced βNoel.β
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
French/Finnish art
Country/Canadian rap
Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
[Removed]
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Nothing, it just waved
Bob
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! π Thank you for the awards.
Just to clarify, 12345678
Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...
Notices there's only 2;
Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."
I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.
I was just sitting there doing nothing.
βBOOMβ?!
free
"That's what they're fighting about."
Because his Visa didnβt work.
There hasn't been a post all year!
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