Grade I Puns

My average grade was C.

i guess you could say he was a real dick.

“Looks like their relationship is on the rocks.” He’ll make a great dad some day.

Son: You’re grade at cleaning poop.

Courtesy of my 5-year-old, also very accurate.

I never thought trying to avoid cooties would be the most useful thing at this stage of my life.

Best three years of my life.

Student: "Why is it so bad to have a pie thrown in your face in math class?"

Me: "Why?"

Student: "Because it never ends."

Because I can't raise them myself

I can't wait to finally see 2020 tomorrow.

I spent Valentine's Day eating my meat.

She hated the chews

I can't raise them on my own.

Let's just say I lost a few inches

It's my way, or the Huawei

Because I couldn’t raise them on my own.

That is nothing under C level.

But then I figured that my grades could take a dive.

It was below C level.

"How was school?"

"We had gym."

"Gym who?"

I'm teaching English in Korea and we were practicing the expression "how do you say X in Y" in class today.

Student - How do you say 미안해 (mi-an-hae) in English?

Me - "I'm sorry."

Student - That's OK.

Why are giraffes necks so long? Because their heads are so far away from their bodies.

Good morning good morning good morning! Everytime the song would restart the complaining from me and my brothers would be drowned out by the laughter of my Dad.

http://imgur.com/z0TOWbg

First grade, I'm in the school play because, well, every one was. I can sing, always have been pretty good at it, so they gave me the job of playing Sebastian in our Little Mermaid rendition. We're singing "Under the Sea" and I look out to the audience to see my dad, in the front row, making the biggest, puffiest fish face his head will physically allow. I haven't done much acting since then.

Because I can’t raise them myself.