Good Turkey Puns

Too many quack-heads in the world already

Because it is 2 child dish.

Son- dad I'm Hungary Dad- maybe you should Czech the fridge Son- is there any Turkey? Dad- there is but it's covered in Greece Son- Ew! There's Norway I am eating that! Dad- please Finnish it Son- But I'm Havana good time :(

(Let's keep the conversation going)

My friend said why are you Russian? I said because I’m Hungary. He said how about some Turkey? I said, Oman; that sounds good! I had it fried in Greece and served with Sweden sour sauce and a Canada best tasting beer; but I would’ve preferred it in a stein, perhaps a Palestine.

I had a nice salad served with French dressing of course. Then I had Danish for dessert

The waiter said would you like Samoa? I said no, I’m all Finnish.

When I saw the price of the bill, I decided not to tip the waiter because I thought Egypt me. I paid cash because they didn’t take Czechs. I know you think I’m joking; but trust me, this story Israel.

Are turdoors

We were Hungary when we got to Turkey on our way to Moscow,

soviet.

^(Don't bother. I'll show myself out.)

They were cooked in Greece.

Why do turkeys make such good percussion players?

They bring their own drumsticks, buh dum, tssh!

A man buys a parrot, thinking it’ll be a good companion. Upon getting the parrot home it starts talking, using really fowl (sorry, not sorry) language.

The man attempts to explain that he doesn’t tolerate that kind of talk in his home, but the parrot won’t cease its cursing. Angry and frustrated, the man punishes the parrot by putting it in the freezer for a full minute.

Upon retrieving the parrot from the freezer it’s incredibly upset and begins hurling even viler insults at the man. So he puts the parrot back in the freezer for 3 full minutes.

This time upon retrieving the bird it seems to understand the situation and through chattering beak promises not to speak that way again.

A few days later however the parrot again begins using filthy language and the man, being fed up, returns the parrot to the freezer for a full five minutes.

This time when taking the parrot out it is visibly shaken, has frost on its feathers and is shivering something fierce.

The man asks ‘have we learned our lesson?’ To which the bird replies ‘yes sir, no more cursing from me. But I have one question.’

Man asks ‘what’s that?’

Parrot replies ‘what the fuck did that turkey say to you?’

"I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'."

My daughter who is 15 was hanging out with one of her friends. They were having a typical teenage conversation over which is better turkey or chicken. After a good 5 minutes of "Turkey.. No chicken... No turkey!" I interjected and said "You know what... I think your conversation is pretty fowl". It was a very proud period of silence after that.

and noticed they were setting out the turkeys for thanksgiving. I decided to go ahead and buy mine for this year so I started digging around for the largest one they had looking for a good 20+ pounder but couldn’t find anything over 17 lbs. I turned to the stock boy and asked,

“Do these get any bigger?”

He answered with

“Well seein as they’re dead I reckon they’ve stopped groin.”

Her: It was good. We had a sub!

Me: Nice! Was it meatball or turkey?

Her: :/

My dad made himself a turkey and cheese sandwhich and I asked for a bite. Me: "Oh thats good" Him: "No its actually Gouda"

Backstory: my buddy's brother is in the military in Turkey and I was asking how he was when their dad dropped this one on me.

• Me: "How's your brother doing in Turkey?"

• Friend: "Good but the language barrier kills him, I think they speak Farsi."

• Me: "I thought they spoke Turkish?"

• Friend's dad: "Actually they speak gobble gobble!"