A good friend of mine works for the bomb squad.
He’s recently taken up creating art as a hobby. He started with painting, but he seems to prefer Claymore.
I loaned my blind friend a good amount of money
he said he would pay me back the next time he saw me...
Asking for a friend ............... A good friend of mine has two tickets for the 2022 Super Bowl.
They are 50 yard line box seats. He paid $2,500 each but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place...
It's at St. Michaels Church, at 3pm. The bride's name is Nicole, she's 5'4", about 115 lbs, good cook too. She'll be the one in the white dress.
My friend doesn't think he'll make a good litter picker
You'll pick it up as you go along, I reassured him
We are having a penis painting themed birthday party for a friend. I have run dry on puns in this category. Looking for a good pun to name the group. Thank you in advance
I have a friend who is really good at working with MS Office.
Some might say he Excels at it.
My friend wants to read the Dune books because he heard they’re really good.
I heard they’re a little dry.
What are some good puns about tshirts? I’m giving a friend a shirt as gift and wanted to include puns.
Friend texted me “This is a good ass game!”
I replied, “This is a good basketball game, what are you watching??”
Is my friend good enough for the big leagues (for puns)?
My friend asked me if I wanted to hear a really good Batman impression, so I said go on then. He shouted, “NOT THE KRYPTONITE!” and I said, “That’s Superman…”
“Thanks, man, ” he replied, “I’ve been practicing it a lot.”
A friend of mine just got fired from the fair for no good reason so
Hes taking them to tribunal for fun fair dismissal.
My friend said, “My kid refuses to eat fish. What do you think is a good replacement?”
Me: Cats. Cats love fish.
I have a good friend who wears clothes made of nothing but carpet.
My friend was getting so good at needlework, he tried doing it behind his back, ala Jimi Hendrix. But he accidentally sewed his hands together!
He knitted his hands behind his head.
A good friend of mine recently died of heartburn
Still can’t believe Gav is gone.
I found a crocodile yesterday, and my good friend suggested that I took it to the zoo.
I did, and we had great fun! Today I'm taking him to the cinema instead.
My friend asked me, "what's even good about math?"
Well, addition is a big plus
(Credit to my 9 year old sister)
My friend has no arms and loves to make jokes about it. They're never any good though.
He doesn't have a funny bone in his body.
A friend of mine makes good money selling camel’s milk, but he has to put up with surly camels all day.
Help me help a friend: need a good pun
Hi, a friend of mine had to organize a “theme”week for a Biology student’s association. The name of the theme has to be a biology pun. Examples are: smells like green spirit, game of thorns, sofishticated or the great catsby.
These names were all used in the past and now she needs new names. Help me out, thanks in advance.
Two monsters were at a party having a good time when one of them noticed a lady monster rolled her eyes at them. The monster asked his monster friend "what should I do?"
The other other monster replied "be a gentleman, roll them back to her."
Maria, Marcos, and Maveric were siblings. Maria was ploting a prank on her brothers, so being the good friend i am, i had to...
Got my friend good yesterday
She was talking about having guacamole for the super bowl and we were talking about going to trader joe's.
Me: Trader Joe's has some pretty good guac that we could pick up.
Her: No way, I make my own. I'm in search of perfection.
Me: So you not only talk the talk, you also guac the guac?
My best friend has a good eye for dad jokes...
But the jokes couldn’t be any cornea.
My good friend drowned while at the beach last month. I tearfully placed a life preserver on his coffin at the funeral.
It's what he would've wanted.
What is it called when you kill a good friend of yours?
My friend asked me if Roshomon was a good movie or not.
I told him it depends on who you ask.
When your friend Caesar tells you a good joke
What made Vincent Van Gogh such a good friend?
He was willing to lend an ear.
I had to borrow my friend’s trumpet because I sounded too good on my own, and people would be jealous!
I didn’t want to toot my own horn.
My friend has a mollusk farm which he says gives him a good workout...
Friend: *drops asparagus on the floor* Me: good thing we’ve got a spare I guess
My friend said that all the good periodic table jokes argon...
I don't think I will be good friend with stars,they've got no life!
I got my friend real good just now
Friend: I’m too tired right now
Me: so like a bike
Friend: no, I’m exhausted
Me: so like a motorbike then?
A good one from a facebook friend.
My friend asked me if I wanted to hear a really good Batman impression, so I said “go for it!”
He went on to shout, “No! Not the kryptonite!”
A little confused, I said “that’s Superman.”
“Thank you!” he laughed. “I’ve been practicing a lot.”
My friend said, “My kid refuses to eat fish. What do you think is a good replacement?”
“A cat” I said. “Cats love fish.
My good friend Gavin died of heartburn recently
I still can't believe that Gaviscon.
My friend asked me if I wanted to hear a really good Batman impression, so I said go on then. He shouted, “NOT THE KRYPTONITE!” and I said, “That’s Superman…”
“Thanks, man, ” he replied, “I’ve been practising it a lot.”
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