Why was the doctor so good a waiting?

He had lots of patients

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RaidriarXD
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2022
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Doctor: Do you want to hear the good news or the bad news?

Patient: Good news please. Doctor: we're naming a disease after you.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RickySan65
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2022
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Doctor, regarding the schizophrenia medication you gave me, I have a good news and a bad news.

The good news is that I no longer hear any voices. And the bad news is that my girl friend left me. But weirdly though, she left a mannequin in my bed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scitech_boom
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2022
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During my trip to Madrid I was staying at this small motel when I grew pretty ill. Thankfully the people at the front desk sent the on call doctor over and he was able to fix me up real quick. I told him I didn't expect such a small place to have such a good doctor, to which he told me

Nobody expects the Spanish Inn Physician

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RKO-Cutter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
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A rich patient told his doctor that money was no problem: "Please give me some good news." "Okay then," said the physician...

"But I'll have to tell that to your widow."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
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"An apple a day keep the doctor away" they say, but only if you have good aim.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/geekcommunicant
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
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I'm not good at fishing for the same reason I wouldn't make a good Doctor

I lack the Patients

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SmiteTheBacon
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
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My doctor slipped in a good one...

Doc: Your weight problem is because of your "seafood" diet... Me: (puzzled) Doc: When you "see food", you eat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HerePussyFishy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2016
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Doctor: Do you want the good news first, or the bad news? reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Big-LOU_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2018
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Doctor: I have good news and bad news.

Me: Bad news first.

Doc: You have an inoperable brain tumor.

Me: And the good news.

Doc: It’s all in your head.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coot32
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2018
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The doctor I was working with today got me pretty good

A patient had broken her thumb and was complaining about difficulty using electronics. I said something to the effect of "I guess you'll have to learn how to be more ambidextrous"

And the doctor replied "I think they call that ambiTEXTrous"

I cringed, I laughed. Mostly cringed though.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/raindancemuggins
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2016
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I just got back from my doctor. He told me he had good news and bad news.

He said, "The good news is, you have twenty four hours left to live."

I said, "Doctor, what do you mean?! If that's the good news, what's the bad news?"

My doctor said, "Well, I forgot to call you yesterday."

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2013
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"Good luck with your doctor appointment" I said

The girlfriend tells me "I'm just going to fill out some papers so they'll accept me as a patient."

"We'll don't be in a hurry to get the papers" I said "They won't take you if you're not patient"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kornykory
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2014
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Doctor: Do you want to hear the good news or the bad news?

Patient: Good news please. Doctor: we're naming a disease after you.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
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Doctor: Do you want to hear the good news or the bad news?

Patient: Good news please. Doctor: we're naming a disease after you.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
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Doctor: Do you want to hear the good news or the bad news?

Patient: Good news please. Doctor: we're naming a disease after you.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
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The doctor tells the patient that he has some good news and some bad news...

Patient: Tell me the bad news first!

Doctor: Sure. The bad news is that there is no good news.

Patient: Well? What is the good news then?

Doctor: That there is no bad news either.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coldwaterguy12
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2017
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What makes a good doctor?

They have patients.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cruznik71450
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2017
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